Ahoy-hoy! I've had some pretty shit Xmas days over the years - I'm not grumbling, it's just the way it's been. Some of the worse have seen me robbed, locked up and worse of all had a mate top himself. I've also seen drink play a key part in wrecking the day - me mam getting shitfaced one year and going nuts with a can of squirty cream is pretty high on the list, possibly alongside my partner waking up in the wee small hours of Xmas alerted by an impossibly bad stench and thinking the flat was on fire only to find me bollock naked infront of the gas fire drying out the cushions from the settee that I had lagged over asleep (Shameless doesn't have a look in).
I've even tried to avoid Xmas all together by agreeing to give someone a lengthy lift home; the bastard car broke down didn't it.
Since I became a father, xmas has been different - in fact it's been fantastic. And even things like working Xmas day, or my father-in-law puking up spanish wine all over the flat (and mostly on me bed!) before going on to die of cancer two years later (you guessed it - in the Xmas holidays!), I've enjoyed Xmas regardless.
So, to summarise, I'm a disgusting person who has a had a mixed bag over Xmas. Has anyone else had a shit Xmas?
Dec 21 2013 11:18
Dec 21 2013 14:43
Worst xmas I ever had was when I was 8 and my family was going to France for vacation but the day of the flight they left me at home. I was having a good time just chillin in the house by myself but some burglars came and I had to fend them off using makeshift booby traps.
Dec 21 2013 15:20
Christmas 1983. On Christmas Day, having not slept a wink or eaten any food at all for 5 days and nights due to the fact that I'd been shooting up collosal amounts of speed, I ravenously tucked into a large bag of liquorice torpedoes and proceeded to break no less than 4 teeth. I then crashed out and woke up the day after Boxing Day fully dressed, still in my boots, having shat and pissed myself, with the most incredibly intense multi toothache in the history of man. The whole thing was so brutal I shudder just thinking about it. Easily my worst Christmas.
Fast forward 14 years to my first drug free Christmas. It was fucking marvellous - I felt healthy, stress free and joyful. My kids were still young and full of wonder which just topped off the whole experience. I smoked my last ever cigarette that day as well.
No Christmas since has ever come close - what a fucking belter!
Dec 21 2013 15:23
My worst xmas was when these visitors from the spirit world* turned up and showed me all kinds of shit from the past, present and future. Worst of all, I don't even believe in the spirit world!!! I only got them to fuck off after bribing them with a bag of mint humbugs. It was almost as bad as the Christmas when this guy called Clarence told me I'd never been born. He was a real joker.
* It was Bargain Booze, I think
Dec 21 2013 15:27
Holy shit Webby! That's grim stuff.
Dec 21 2013 18:14
This creepy recluse living in the mountains by my town stole everyone's presents one year, so that sucked.
Dec 21 2013 18:49
Post removed - Sorry if any one was offended.
Dec 21 2013 20:40
I once ate a transparent Brazil nut against my mum's advice. It literally tasted like faeces, and I threw up on my cat's head, the poor thing.
Probably the most exciting thing that's ever happened to me on Christmas day.
Dec 24 2013 10:44
My Dad pissed from the pub set off a fire cracker on xmas eve before bursting in and proclaiming he'd just shot Santa. Me and my brother were inconsolable.
Dec 24 2013 13:58
I just had to borrow money from my mum to buy both her present (which she will now be getting quite a few days after christmas) and my dads because my jsa hasn't come through yet when it should have come on monday. Pretty fucking demoralising.
Dec 24 2013 15:07
The Croydonian #11
Commiserations – my post is a sixes & sevens as our postie has been one of those strikin’ troublemakers! 
My worse Christmas was very tame, as a child I fell asleep watching Gary Cooper in ‘High Noon’ on the telly (I’d not had much sleep as I’d been too excited). It’s still kinda bugs me.
Dec 24 2013 16:02
Auld-bod wrote:
The Croydonian #11Commiserations – my post is a sixes & sevens as our postie has been one of those strikin’ troublemakers!
I think my favourite Christmas was the one we had a work to rule and overtime ban, and finished delivering the Christmas cards in April.
In general though I am not really used to it. I experienced it last year for the first time in over twenty years, and I am pretty much dreading it his year.
Devrim
Dec 24 2013 16:19
Auld-bod:
Quote:
My worse Christmas was very tame, as a child I fell asleep watching Gary Cooper in ‘High Noon’ on the telly (I’d not had much sleep as I’d been too excited). It’s still kinda bugs me.
You missed the end of High Noon??!!?? I can see how that would totally ruin the day. Do they even show High Noon at Christmas anymore? *me wandering away muttering about how things aren't as good as they used to be and singing "Do Not Forsake Me, O My Darlin'."
Dec 24 2013 17:52
One year I got woken up by some reindeer making noise on my roof and then some red elf hobo snuck into my house and gave gifts while creeping on me.
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So this does not remotely compare, but when I was a kid my parents had gotten a new camera for Christmas. To test it out, they decided they wanted each child to take it in turn each opening a present on Christmas morning. This is not what we had in mind and instead of my parents recording each of us happily opening a present in an orderly fashion, they just have video of four, crying upset children.
Also, fun fact: in the States and Christmas (and New Year's too, IIRC) most gas stations give out free coffee. It's a great day to travel.