I wanted to answer Croy's post, without further derailing the thread on confronting sexual violence in the left.
Croy
I don't feel that you've got my point on playing the devil's advocate in a discussion about rape.
If the problem with my response is it is triggering it's no less triggering than any one else's comments, or the article itself. To my knowledge people post trigger warnings on stuff that discusses the topic in any sense, be it supportive or playing devils advocate.
The point is that of course any discussion about rape is going to be triggering but it should be carried out in a way which is as sensitive as possible. Putting a trigger warning at the top of a discussion does not exempt posters from this. Playing the devil's advocate is a debate technique in which someone argues a position, which they do not necessarily agree, for the sake of debate. If in doubt, the OED definition
A person who expresses a contentious opinion in order to provoke debate or test the strength of the opposing arguments:
Why would you feel this was a necessary thing to do in a discussion about rape, in which rape survivors were taking part? It's all very well to do this in a conversation which is not emotionally bruising to the participants but to argue a hostile position with people who are potentially triggered by the subject is what can be seen as insensitive. This isn't a high school debate club, when the objective is to win an argument but a discussion on how to support survivors and prevent sexual assault (two things which are not separate but work symbiotically imo), as well as that, a conversation in whichactual survivors are taking part. So a little sensitivity towards these survivors and less emphasis on the hypothetical small number of men who might be subject to false allegation- bearing in mind that it's already been agreed that being falsely accused is an awful thing to happen. And also bearing in mind that the number of survivors is far, far higher that the number of false accusations anyway.
Playing the devil's advocate is a shit discussion technique to start off with, often used to stir up an argument. If it's not a position you agree with, why argue from it? The devil, metaphorically speaking, is perfectly capable of speaking up from himself.
fleurnoire-et-rouge wrote:
Quote:
C I can't apolagise for everything shit that happened ever because I wouldn't have time to live otherwise.
No-one's asking you to.I think you'll find EmC is
Quote:
A lot of people here seem horrified by the idea of violence against an innocent man but the most awful stories of rape against children which have been told on this thread don't even merit an "I'm sorry that happened" from the same posters
Nope. There's nothing in EmC's post which is asking you to "apologize for everything shit that happened ever." She is making a very salient point that more empathy has been expressed for an innocent man - and rightfully expressed - than for rape survivors. There's nothing in that which is trying to coercively extract an apology from you for something that you did not do. When you said that you didn't say that you were sorry because "why wouldn't I be?" is very dismissive and comes from the position that it is assumed that everyone feels empathy for survivors, where in fact it is the lived experience of survivors that this is not the case. It really doesn't hurt, in the great scheme of things, to express empathy. The lack of expressed empathy feels almost as bad as the expressed hostility and it's another one of those things which keeps survivors from speaking up.
Spot on. Great post.