Arrested and placed on the sex offender list? Is Scotland Texas?

j.rogue "Not as good as cops."
Posts: 1446 Joined: 08-04-07 Location: Not Texas
Submitted by j.rogue on 25 November, 2007 - 17:37.

Bike Sex Man Placed on Probation

A man caught trying to have sex with his bicycle has been sentenced to three years on probation.

Robert Stewart, 51, admitted a sexually aggravated breach of the peace by conducting himself in a disorderly manner and simulating sex.

Sheriff Colin Miller also placed Stewart on the Sex Offenders Register for three years.

Mr Stewart was caught in the act with his bicycle by cleaners in his bedroom at the Aberley House Hostel in Ayr.

Gail Davidson, prosecuting, told Ayr Sheriff Court: "They knocked on the door several times and there was no reply.

"They used a master key to unlock the door and they then observed the accused wearing only a white t-shirt, naked from the waist down.

"The accused was holding the bike and moving his hips back and forth as if to simulate sex."

Both cleaners, who were "extremely shocked", told the hostel manager who called police.

Sheriff Colin Miller told Stewart: "In almost four decades in the law I thought I had come across every perversion known to mankind, but this is a new one on me. I have never heard of a 'cycle-sexualist'."

Stewart had denied the offence, claiming it was caused by a misunderstanding after he had too much to drink.

The bachelor had been living in the hostel since October 2006 after moving from his council house in Girvan.

He now lives in Ayr.

source

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the button "jesus christ, john, have you actually even read any marx?"
Posts: 5636 Joined: 07-07-04 Location: Lewisham, London
25 November, 2007 - 17:44

Perhaps it was a kids' bike.

Steven. ""Best hair at Unison conference""
Posts: 1622 Joined: 27-06-06 Location: London
25 November, 2007 - 17:58
the button wrote:
Perhaps it was a kids' bike.

we just made that joke in our living room, randomly talking about it.

thugarchist "Warning: This poster is recuperating our struggle!!!11"
Posts: 4114 Joined: 26-11-06 Location: Seattle, WA US of A
25 November, 2007 - 17:58

H "The beaurocrats coming! Quick, back to work!"
Posts: 173 Joined: 05-02-07 Location: Nomadic, California, USA.
25 November, 2007 - 19:00
wrote:
Stewart had denied the offence, claiming it was caused by a misunderstanding after he had too much to drink.

Yeah....

xConorx "facts tend to cloud my judgement"
Posts: 10149 Joined: 09-12-04 Location: Belfast
25 November, 2007 - 19:26

They were joking about this on the radio and TV last week, fuckin hell it is the most mental shit ever!

How the fuck can someone be on the sex offfenders register for this???? How can it even be a crime? Don't get me wrong it's weird as fuck but jesus - A SEX OFFENDER???
"It's political correctness gone mad!"

thugarchist "Warning: This poster is recuperating our struggle!!!11"
Posts: 4114 Joined: 26-11-06 Location: Seattle, WA US of A
25 November, 2007 - 19:29
xConorx wrote:
They were joking about this on the radio and TV last week, fuckin hell it is the most mental shit ever!

How the fuck can someone be on the sex offfenders register for this???? How can it even be a crime? Don't get me wrong it's weird as fuck but jesus - A SEX OFFENDER???
"It's political correctness gone mad!"

Yeah. The bike wanted it anyways.

xConorx "facts tend to cloud my judgement"
Posts: 10149 Joined: 09-12-04 Location: Belfast
25 November, 2007 - 19:45

My bike always wants it , it's always just sitting there, waiting, waiting.

H "The beaurocrats coming! Quick, back to work!"
Posts: 173 Joined: 05-02-07 Location: Nomadic, California, USA.
25 November, 2007 - 19:53
xConorx wrote:
They were joking about this on the radio and TV last week, fuckin hell it is the most mental shit ever!

How the fuck can someone be on the sex offfenders register for this???? How can it even be a crime? Don't get me wrong it's weird as fuck but jesus - A SEX OFFENDER???
"It's political correctness gone mad!"

I think it has something to do with not stopping housekeeping from catching him in the act.

Refused "LibCom's official social secretary"
Posts: 6193 Joined: 28-09-04 Location: Newcastle-Upon-Tyne
25 November, 2007 - 19:59
xConorx wrote:
My bike always wants it , it's always just sitting there, waiting, waiting.

eek

You know there are children reading this forum? Won't someone protect WeTheYouth and wheresmyshoes from this...this filth?

arf
Posts: 1345 Joined: 25-11-06
25 November, 2007 - 20:10

didnt this happen months ago?

xConorx "facts tend to cloud my judgement"
Posts: 10149 Joined: 09-12-04 Location: Belfast
25 November, 2007 - 20:17
H wrote:
xConorx wrote:
They were joking about this on the radio and TV last week, fuckin hell it is the most mental shit ever!

How the fuck can someone be on the sex offfenders register for this???? How can it even be a crime? Don't get me wrong it's weird as fuck but jesus - A SEX OFFENDER???
"It's political correctness gone mad!"

I think it has something to do with not stopping housekeeping from catching him in the act.

I don't follow - are you saying he wanted to get caught? I realise it's a bit anti-social if that's the case, and I'm not sure that it is, it's not unbelievable that he didn't hear them knocking, but that in now way means he should be a registered "sex offender" for fucks sake. It was an inanimate object.

xConorx "facts tend to cloud my judgement"
Posts: 10149 Joined: 09-12-04 Location: Belfast
25 November, 2007 - 20:20
arf wrote:
didnt this happen months ago?

Aye but the verdict of probabation and being placed on the register was only a week or two ago.

I don't know why people post shit like "didn't this happen months ago?" on threads regarding a court decision - of course the incident months ago!!! The thread is about how he's been placed on the sex offenders register!!!

arf
Posts: 1345 Joined: 25-11-06
25 November, 2007 - 20:34

sad i do apologise.

i read about this on turbo a month ago and i dont keep time well, so i thought it was longer.

Jack "In it for spite"
Posts: 10048 Joined: 22-09-03 Location: Brighton
25 November, 2007 - 20:42
xConorx wrote:
They were joking about this on the radio and TV last week, fuckin hell it is the most mental shit ever!

How the fuck can someone be on the sex offfenders register for this???? How can it even be a crime? Don't get me wrong it's weird as fuck but jesus - A SEX OFFENDER???

Under communism he'd be shot.

MJ "tastes like gym socks, orchards and godhead"
Posts: 1892 Joined: 05-01-06 Location: Massachusetts
25 November, 2007 - 21:11

j.rogue "Not as good as cops."
Posts: 1446 Joined: 08-04-07 Location: Not Texas
25 November, 2007 - 21:29

They used a master key to get in the locked door, it's not like he was doing it in public

thugarchist "Warning: This poster is recuperating our struggle!!!11"
Posts: 4114 Joined: 26-11-06 Location: Seattle, WA US of A
25 November, 2007 - 21:29
j.rogue wrote:
They used a master key to get in the locked door, it's not like he was doing it in public

Apologist.

georgestapleton "an indistinguishable part of a nationalist front sticking up for Irish independence"
Posts: 1463 Joined: 04-08-05 Location: Dublin, Ireland
25 November, 2007 - 21:32

I like that on the BBC website they give you a picture of a bike with the story. In case you didn't know what they were talking about.

j.rogue "Not as good as cops."
Posts: 1446 Joined: 08-04-07 Location: Not Texas
25 November, 2007 - 21:43
thugarchist wrote:
j.rogue wrote:
They used a master key to get in the locked door, it's not like he was doing it in public

Apologist.

Didn't see that coming.

thugarchist "Warning: This poster is recuperating our struggle!!!11"
Posts: 4114 Joined: 26-11-06 Location: Seattle, WA US of A
25 November, 2007 - 21:51
j.rogue wrote:
thugarchist wrote:
j.rogue wrote:
They used a master key to get in the locked door, it's not like he was doing it in public

Apologist.

Didn't see that coming.

you're like the Hakim Bey of bike molesters.

the button "jesus christ, john, have you actually even read any marx?"
Posts: 5636 Joined: 07-07-04 Location: Lewisham, London
25 November, 2007 - 21:57
thugarchist wrote:
j.rogue wrote:
thugarchist wrote:
j.rogue wrote:
They used a master key to get in the locked door, it's not like he was doing it in public

Apologist.

Didn't see that coming.

you're like the Hakim Bey of bike molesters.

As Hakim Bey himself wrote: -

Quote:
barelegged on his bicycle in the park he rides beneath
a children's fountain droplets catch his hair which
the afternoon makes somewhat bronze, beaded with molten dew
--the sunset over Jersey like an industrial krakatoa:
Newark Gold, Secaucus Red, East Orange.
The button on his blazer: Anarchist Bicyclists

Perhaps he's not a paedo after all, and it's the bike he was after.

Grace "Christ, I'd rather just have the semen"
Posts: 1520 Joined: 19-07-05 Location: Oxford/Ipswich
25 November, 2007 - 22:03
thugarchist wrote:
the Hakim Bey of bike molesters.

Tagline!

H "The beaurocrats coming! Quick, back to work!"
Posts: 173 Joined: 05-02-07 Location: Nomadic, California, USA.
25 November, 2007 - 23:14
j.rogue wrote:
thugarchist wrote:
j.rogue wrote:
They used a master key to get in the locked door, it's not like he was doing it in public

Apologist.

Didn't see that coming.

Just like the drunk guy molesting his bike didn't hear housekeeping knock.

j.rogue "Not as good as cops."
Posts: 1446 Joined: 08-04-07 Location: Not Texas
25 November, 2007 - 23:17

I once saw an act that was described as "Bicycle Burlesque" in which a girl did a sexy dance, took the seat off her bike and fucked the seat post.

Refused "LibCom's official social secretary"
Posts: 6193 Joined: 28-09-04 Location: Newcastle-Upon-Tyne
25 November, 2007 - 23:21

Screw you guys, I'm going home.

j.rogue "Not as good as cops."
Posts: 1446 Joined: 08-04-07 Location: Not Texas
25 November, 2007 - 23:23
Refused wrote:
Screw you guys, I'm going home.

Bicycle back at the house?

Refused "LibCom's official social secretary"
Posts: 6193 Joined: 28-09-04 Location: Newcastle-Upon-Tyne
25 November, 2007 - 23:25

It's the only bike in the vill-age.

j.rogue "Not as good as cops."
Posts: 1446 Joined: 08-04-07 Location: Not Texas
25 November, 2007 - 23:36

Well, don't forget...

Grace "Christ, I'd rather just have the semen"
Posts: 1520 Joined: 19-07-05 Location: Oxford/Ipswich
26 November, 2007 - 00:20
j.rogue wrote:
I once saw an act that was described as "Bicycle Burlesque" in which a girl did a sexy dance, took the seat off her bike and fucked the seat post.

Christ, that's revolting.

arf
Posts: 1345 Joined: 25-11-06
26 November, 2007 - 00:51

bet it was cold. fairly sharp edges as well.

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