bad joke

David in Atlanta ""crude reductionist version of marxism""
Posts: 1790 Joined: 21-04-06
Submitted by David in Atlanta on 24 May, 2008 - 01:17.

Seems a little boy was taken from his family by a protective agency. He was talking to his case worker and asked "So do I live with my mommy?" "No!" said the case worker, "she beats you!"
The lad then asks " Will I live with my dad then?" "Heavens NO!" said the case worker, "He beats you even worse!"

Thinking a second, the boy asks "Why don't I move to Atlanta and live with the Braves? They don't beat anybody!"

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thugarchist "Warning: This poster is recuperating our struggle!!!11"
Posts: 4129 Joined: 26-11-06 Location: Seattle, WA US of A
24 May, 2008 - 02:47

On the first day of school a first grade teacher explains to her class that she is a Yankees fan. She asks her students to raise their hands if they, too, are Yankees fans.

Wanting to impress their teacher, everyone in the class raises their hand except one little girl.

The teacher looks at the girl with surprise and says, "Janie, why didn't you raise your hand?"

"Because I'm not a Yankees fan," she replied.

The teacher, still shocked, asked, "Well, if you are not a Yankees fan, then who are you a fan of?"

"I am a Red Sox fan, and proud of it," Janie replied.

The teacher could not believe her ears. "Janie, why pray tell are you a Red Sox fan?"

"Because my mom is a Red Sox fan, and my dad is Red Sox fan, so I'm a Red Sox fan too!"

"Well," said the teacher in a obviously annoyed tone, "that is no reason for you to be a Red Sox fan. You don't have to be just like your parents all of the time. What if your mom were an idiot and your dad were a moron, what would you be then?"

"Then," Janie smiled, "I'd be a Yankees fan."

newyawka "They gonna eat your shoulders."
Posts: 2914 Joined: 13-10-05
24 May, 2008 - 03:22
David in Atlanta wrote:
Seems a little boy was taken from his family by a protective agency. He was talking to his case worker and asked "So do I live with my mommy?" "No!" said the case worker, "she beats you!"
The lad then asks " Will I live with my dad then?" "Heavens NO!" said the case worker, "He beats you even worse!"

Thinking a second, the boy asks "Why don't I move to Atlanta and live with the Braves? They don't beat anybody!"

i've heard this using the cincinnati bengals

David in Atlanta ""crude reductionist version of marxism""
Posts: 1790 Joined: 21-04-06
24 May, 2008 - 03:31

Actually the Braves aren't doing too badly, second in their division. Tonight however was gawdawful!

thugarchist "Warning: This poster is recuperating our struggle!!!11"
Posts: 4129 Joined: 26-11-06 Location: Seattle, WA US of A
24 May, 2008 - 03:41
David in Atlanta wrote:
Actually the Braves aren't doing too badly, second in their division. Tonight however was gawdawful!

Second in a division that isn't playing well. 26 and 22 with 6 for 16 on the road ain't exactly awesome.

David in Atlanta ""crude reductionist version of marxism""
Posts: 1790 Joined: 21-04-06
24 May, 2008 - 04:14

Yeah I know, and your boys are 31 19 with a seven game winning streak stuck in there. That, in case you're not feeling arrogant enough, is the best record in either league.

But the formerly evil empire is 23 25 cool

thugarchist "Warning: This poster is recuperating our struggle!!!11"
Posts: 4129 Joined: 26-11-06 Location: Seattle, WA US of A
24 May, 2008 - 04:47
David in Atlanta wrote:
Yeah I know, and your boys are 31 19 with a seven game winning streak stuck in there. That, in case you're not feeling arrogant enough, is the best record in either league.

But the formerly evil empire is 23 25 cool

I was politely not mentioning our stats smile but its always good when the yankees are so far in the tank it's unlikely they'll climb out. Although I think Oakland just kicked our ass tonight.

Whats bullshit is that both the whitesox AND the cubs are doing so good.

Edit ---> yeah. Oakland won 8-3 so we're 31 and 20. Of course thats still the best in either league. twisted

fnbrill "Mocking In the Fee World"
Posts: 754 Joined: 13-01-07
24 May, 2008 - 04:53

Q: You know why Portland doesn't have a real baseball team?
A: Because Seattle would want one too.

David in Atlanta ""crude reductionist version of marxism""
Posts: 1790 Joined: 21-04-06
24 May, 2008 - 04:59

3 to 8, not too bad. Not like that fiasco we played, 11-1 with a 5-0 first inning? OUCH! And Cox left that so-called pitcher in for five innings!
I'm gonna be in new york next weekend and shall heckle the locals.
White Sox i can see, but the Cubs? Did you guys sell them the secret to climbing out of the sewer?

thugarchist "Warning: This poster is recuperating our struggle!!!11"
Posts: 4129 Joined: 26-11-06 Location: Seattle, WA US of A
24 May, 2008 - 05:02
David in Atlanta wrote:
3 to 8, not too bad. Not like that fiasco we played, 11-1 with a 5-0 first inning? OUCH! And Cox left that so-called pitcher in for five innings!
I'm gonna be in new york next weekend and shall heckle the locals.
White Sox i can see, but the Cubs? Did you guys sell them the secret to climbing out of the sewer?

Eh, the Cubs can ruin anything. They'll catch up to armageddon any time now. But for right now they're .604 tied with Arizona for second overall.

xConorx "facts tend to cloud my judgement"
Posts: 10520 Joined: 09-12-04 Location: Belfast
24 May, 2008 - 09:43

Eh what the fukc is this baseball shit?

jef costello "Beautiful, just like Nuremburg"
Posts: 9689 Joined: 09-02-06 Location: It's not time for beer Nigella.
24 May, 2008 - 09:47

It's like rounders but played over a whole day by men on steroids and taken incredibly seriously.

xConorx "facts tend to cloud my judgement"
Posts: 10520 Joined: 09-12-04 Location: Belfast
24 May, 2008 - 09:56

you mean rounders that girl sport?
gotcha

serious admins, can't youse lock threads the minute americans start talking about anything ever?

David in Atlanta ""crude reductionist version of marxism""
Posts: 1790 Joined: 21-04-06
24 May, 2008 - 12:23
thugarchist wrote:
David in Atlanta wrote:
3 to 8, not too bad. Not like that fiasco we played, 11-1 with a 5-0 first inning? OUCH! And Cox left that so-called pitcher in for five innings!
I'm gonna be in new york next weekend and shall heckle the locals.
White Sox i can see, but the Cubs? Did you guys sell them the secret to climbing out of the sewer?

Eh, the Cubs can ruin anything. They'll catch up to armageddon any time now. But for right now they're .604 tied with Arizona for second overall.

True, but there's something profoundly unnatural about all this. Baseball history tells us the Yankees are supposed to be at the top of the food chain. The Cubs and Red Soxs aren't supposed to be anywhere in shouting distance of the top. Y'all are lovable losers.

Notice a silence from newyawka?
smile

Refused "They met randomly on the internet."
Posts: 6306 Joined: 28-09-04 Location: Newcastle-Upon-Tyne
24 May, 2008 - 12:24

Fuck off Yanks. angry

David in Atlanta ""crude reductionist version of marxism""
Posts: 1790 Joined: 21-04-06
24 May, 2008 - 12:27
Refused wrote:
Fuck off Yanks. angry

That's exactly what Thuggy and I are saying!

the button "jesus christ, john, have you actually even read any marx?"
Posts: 5636 Joined: 07-07-04 Location: Lewisham, London
24 May, 2008 - 12:37
jef costello wrote:
It's like rounders but played over a whole day by men on steroids and taken incredibly seriously.

Another way of thinking about it is as like cricket, but with all the elements of skill and tactical nuance taken out of it.

treeofjudas "too cute to persecute"
Posts: 1171 Joined: 02-10-06 Location: Tel-Aviv, Israel
24 May, 2008 - 13:36
the button wrote:
jef costello wrote:
It's like rounders but played over a whole day by men on steroids and taken incredibly seriously.

Another way of thinking about it is as like cricket, but with all the elements of skill and tactical nuance taken out of it.

Like cricket only doesn't take days and the players don't all look like bloody Wooster, more like.

the button "jesus christ, john, have you actually even read any marx?"
Posts: 5636 Joined: 07-07-04 Location: Lewisham, London
24 May, 2008 - 14:02
treeofjudas wrote:
the button wrote:
jef costello wrote:
It's like rounders but played over a whole day by men on steroids and taken incredibly seriously.

Another way of thinking about it is as like cricket, but with all the elements of skill and tactical nuance taken out of it.

Like cricket only doesn't take days and the players don't all look like bloody Wooster, more like.

Another poster in thrall to yankee cultural imperialism. sad

treeofjudas "too cute to persecute"
Posts: 1171 Joined: 02-10-06 Location: Tel-Aviv, Israel
24 May, 2008 - 14:10
the button wrote:
treeofjudas wrote:
the button wrote:
jef costello wrote:
It's like rounders but played over a whole day by men on steroids and taken incredibly seriously.

Another way of thinking about it is as like cricket, but with all the elements of skill and tactical nuance taken out of it.

Like cricket only doesn't take days and the players don't all look like bloody Wooster, more like.

Another poster in thrall to yankee cultural imperialism. sad

Yeah, 'cause if I criticize Cricket that must mean I support Baseball. roll eyes

the button "jesus christ, john, have you actually even read any marx?"
Posts: 5636 Joined: 07-07-04 Location: Lewisham, London
24 May, 2008 - 14:20

Yep.

jef costello "Beautiful, just like Nuremburg"
Posts: 9689 Joined: 09-02-06 Location: It's not time for beer Nigella.
24 May, 2008 - 14:23

I think that method of reasoning is only applicable to fascism and northern Ireland isn't it?

treeofjudas "too cute to persecute"
Posts: 1171 Joined: 02-10-06 Location: Tel-Aviv, Israel
24 May, 2008 - 14:40

Left-bourgeois. angry You're totally being voted off Prole Island next week.

David in Atlanta ""crude reductionist version of marxism""
Posts: 1790 Joined: 21-04-06
24 May, 2008 - 14:53

The Braves site calls last nights game "disappointing " Looks better than saying "we got our ass kicked" I suppose.

Anyone see anything that might stop the Red Sox from going to the series? They're looking somewhat unstoppable at the moment and they certainly don't have the Yankees to worry about smile

Thug, a trivia question for ya. Prior to 2004, when was the last time the Sox took a pennant from New York?
hint, they weren't even called the Yankees it was so long ago.

Randy ""Spreading the Gospel of Sausage Gravy.""
Posts: 463 Joined: 31-01-07 Location: East By-God Kentucky, USA
24 May, 2008 - 15:13
David in Atlanta wrote:
...Anyone see anything that might stop the Red Sox from going to the series? ...

I wanted to say "their legacy", but a quick google reveals that some things changed since i followed pro sports.

Please tell me the word "Cleveland" is still a knee slapper in baseball circles...

David in Atlanta ""crude reductionist version of marxism""
Posts: 1790 Joined: 21-04-06
24 May, 2008 - 15:20
Randy wrote:
David in Atlanta wrote:
...Anyone see anything that might stop the Red Sox from going to the series? ...

I wanted to say "their legacy", but a quick google reveals that some things changed since i followed pro sports.

Please tell me the word "Cleveland" is still a knee slapper in baseball circles...

Third place in American League Central 22 26 .458. Not gawdawful but not a serious contender.

the button "jesus christ, john, have you actually even read any marx?"
Posts: 5636 Joined: 07-07-04 Location: Lewisham, London
24 May, 2008 - 15:20
jef costello wrote:
I think that method of reasoning is only applicable to fascism and northern Ireland isn't it?

And direct action, too. Don't forget direct action.

thugarchist "Warning: This poster is recuperating our struggle!!!11"
Posts: 4129 Joined: 26-11-06 Location: Seattle, WA US of A
24 May, 2008 - 15:23
David in Atlanta wrote:
The Braves site calls last nights game "disappointing " Looks better than saying "we got our ass kicked" I suppose.

Anyone see anything that might stop the Red Sox from going to the series? They're looking somewhat unstoppable at the moment and they certainly don't have the Yankees to worry about smile

Thug, a trivia question for ya. Prior to 2004, when was the last time the Sox took a pennant from New York?
hint, they weren't even called the Yankees it was so long ago.

1904? Highlanders vs Americans?

newyawka "They gonna eat your shoulders."
Posts: 2914 Joined: 13-10-05
24 May, 2008 - 15:31
David in Atlanta wrote:
Notice a silence from newyawka?
:)

David in Atlanta ""crude reductionist version of marxism""
Posts: 1790 Joined: 21-04-06
24 May, 2008 - 15:31
thugarchist wrote:
David in Atlanta wrote:
The Braves site calls last nights game "disappointing " Looks better than saying "we got our ass kicked" I suppose.

Anyone see anything that might stop the Red Sox from going to the series? They're looking somewhat unstoppable at the moment and they certainly don't have the Yankees to worry about smile

Thug, a trivia question for ya. Prior to 2004, when was the last time the Sox took a pennant from New York?
hint, they weren't even called the Yankees it was so long ago.

1904? Highlanders vs Americans?

Yup! either a die-hard fan or quick with wiki smile Or both

David in Atlanta ""crude reductionist version of marxism""
Posts: 1790 Joined: 21-04-06
24 May, 2008 - 15:37
newyawka wrote:
David in Atlanta wrote:
Notice a silence from newyawka?
:)

And before that in 91? Not the stellar record of the once mighty Yanks, who now are really really bad.
smile
If our Brit and Irish friends want to make fun of that sport I'll join in cheerfully. smile

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