Fake-tan disasters

Jess "The heart of a heartless world."
Posts: 2226 Joined: 26-11-04 Location: Brighton
Submitted by Jess on 7 May, 2007 - 10:59.

sad

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xConorx "facts tend to cloud my judgement"
Posts: 10827 Joined: 09-12-04 Location: Belfast
7 May, 2007 - 11:28

is it all streaky and hilarious?

Joseph K. "the thinking man's idiot"
Posts: 8618 Joined: 14-03-06 Location: Brighton
7 May, 2007 - 11:27

streaks or splotches?

Jack "Yes we can"
Posts: 10281 Joined: 22-09-03 Location: Brighton
7 May, 2007 - 11:43

Is this why you wouldn't go meet cantdo yesterday?

xConorx "facts tend to cloud my judgement"
Posts: 10827 Joined: 09-12-04 Location: Belfast
7 May, 2007 - 11:45

If I was a girl I couldn't be arsed wearing fake tan. Sounds like a pain in the arse.

revol68 "the voice of britain"
Posts: 17899 Joined: 23-02-04 Location: Belfast, BRITAIN
7 May, 2007 - 11:56
xConorx wrote:
If I was a girl I couldn't be arsed wearing fake tan. Sounds like a pain in the arse.

claire uses some moisturiser that has a subtle tanning effect, her and kim trying to put it on me last year. To be honest it looked pretty sweet cos it was subtle and didn't leave you looking like I did when they made me black up at school to play the african wise man in christmas play.

revol68 "the voice of britain"
Posts: 17899 Joined: 23-02-04 Location: Belfast, BRITAIN
7 May, 2007 - 11:56
xConorx wrote:
If I was a girl I couldn't be arsed wearing fake tan. Sounds like a pain in the arse.

if you were a girl i'd buy you a veil!

tongue

xConorx "facts tend to cloud my judgement"
Posts: 10827 Joined: 09-12-04 Location: Belfast
7 May, 2007 - 12:20
revol68 wrote:
xConorx wrote:
If I was a girl I couldn't be arsed wearing fake tan. Sounds like a pain in the arse.

if you were a girl i'd buy you a veil!

tongue

if you were a girl I'd throw acid in your face. In fact, I think I might just do it for a laugh anyway.

lucy_parsons "Cunt saboteur"
Posts: 309 Joined: 13-05-05 Location: Manchester
7 May, 2007 - 12:31
Quote:
If I was a girl I couldn't be arsed wearing fake tan.

It's not just for girls (and revol). Wayne made me fake tan his legs when he had to wear a kilt at a wedding. Is he gonna kill me for outing him?

revol68 "the voice of britain"
Posts: 17899 Joined: 23-02-04 Location: Belfast, BRITAIN
7 May, 2007 - 12:32
lucy_parsons wrote:
Quote:
If I was a girl I couldn't be arsed wearing fake tan.

It's not just for girls (and revol). Wayne made me fake tan his legs when he had to wear a kilt at a wedding. Is he gonna kill me for outing him?

outting what? everyone knows the gays love their tango tans.

Alan "Getting drunk, playing punk on a stylophone"
Posts: 5173 Joined: 28-09-04 Location: SE4
7 May, 2007 - 12:43

Fake tan's for Essex girls.

Jack "Yes we can"
Posts: 10281 Joined: 22-09-03 Location: Brighton
7 May, 2007 - 12:47
Quote:
Fake tan's for Essex girls.

Like Paris Hilton?

xConorx "facts tend to cloud my judgement"
Posts: 10827 Joined: 09-12-04 Location: Belfast
7 May, 2007 - 12:50
lucy_parsons wrote:
Quote:
If I was a girl I couldn't be arsed wearing fake tan.

It's not just for girls (and revol). Wayne made me fake tan his legs when he had to wear a kilt at a wedding. Is he gonna kill me for outing him?

jesus christ

revol68 "the voice of britain"
Posts: 17899 Joined: 23-02-04 Location: Belfast, BRITAIN
7 May, 2007 - 12:55
Alan wrote:
Fake tan's for Essex girls.

Can everyone extend a warm welcome to our much esteemed visitor from 1992!

Alan "Getting drunk, playing punk on a stylophone"
Posts: 5173 Joined: 28-09-04 Location: SE4
7 May, 2007 - 13:00

You wearing fake tan wouldn't be a good idea, unless you were trying to match your cheeks with your teeth.

thugarchist "Warning: This poster is recuperating our struggle!!!11"
Posts: 4158 Joined: 26-11-06 Location: Seattle, WA US of A
7 May, 2007 - 13:01
revol68 wrote:
Alan wrote:
Fake tan's for Essex girls.

Can everyone extend a warm welcome to our much esteemed visitor from 1992!

Were you even born in 1992?

revol68 "the voice of britain"
Posts: 17899 Joined: 23-02-04 Location: Belfast, BRITAIN
7 May, 2007 - 13:02
thugarchist wrote:
revol68 wrote:
Alan wrote:
Fake tan's for Essex girls.

Can everyone extend a warm welcome to our much esteemed visitor from 1992!

Were you even born in 1992?

straight outta 81.

Jess "The heart of a heartless world."
Posts: 2226 Joined: 26-11-04 Location: Brighton
7 May, 2007 - 13:05
revol68 wrote:
claire uses some moisturiser that has a subtle tanning effect, her and kim trying to put it on me last year. To be honest it looked pretty sweet cos it was subtle

That's what mine advertised itself as. "builds up a subtle tan over time". The liars.

sad

thugarchist "Warning: This poster is recuperating our struggle!!!11"
Posts: 4158 Joined: 26-11-06 Location: Seattle, WA US of A
7 May, 2007 - 13:07
revol68 wrote:
thugarchist wrote:
revol68 wrote:
Alan wrote:
Fake tan's for Essex girls.

Can everyone extend a warm welcome to our much esteemed visitor from 1992!

Were you even born in 1992?

straight outta 81.

I saw the Cars play the Providence Civic Center in '81.

revol68 "the voice of britain"
Posts: 17899 Joined: 23-02-04 Location: Belfast, BRITAIN
7 May, 2007 - 13:07
Jess wrote:
revol68 wrote:
claire uses some moisturiser that has a subtle tanning effect, her and kim trying to put it on me last year. To be honest it looked pretty sweet cos it was subtle

That's what mine advertised itself as. "builds up a subtle tan over time". The liars.

sad

you do know one bottle lasts a month atleast????

Jess "The heart of a heartless world."
Posts: 2226 Joined: 26-11-04 Location: Brighton
7 May, 2007 - 13:10

I didn't use much, I can't understand what went wrong.

jef costello "Beautiful, just like Nuremburg"
Posts: 9964 Joined: 09-02-06 Location: razorblade of apathy, shave me with your irony
7 May, 2007 - 13:38

Skin absorbs it differently depending on how much flesh is underneath and how much the skin stretches. So thighs absorb less than calves, which absorb less than shins which absorb less than knees.
Get it done professionally, this involves chemicals and is clearly a bit on the taxing side.

I think there's an episode of Friends that might give you some pointers.

Peter "Australian: therefore a liar and a cunt"
Posts: 542 Joined: 09-03-06
7 May, 2007 - 14:03

Wouldn't it be easier to move to a country where you actually see the sun.

Wayne "Lucy Parsons broke my heart. The slut."
Posts: 277 Joined: 28-12-03
7 May, 2007 - 14:46
Quote:
Wayne made me fake tan his legs when he had to wear a kilt at a wedding.

Fuck you. Looked fucking good but didn't I? Pity my date let me down by holding her dress together with a safety pin and refusing to eat her dinner...

jef costello "Beautiful, just like Nuremburg"
Posts: 9964 Joined: 09-02-06 Location: razorblade of apathy, shave me with your irony
7 May, 2007 - 14:54
Wayne wrote:
Fuck you. Looked fucking good but didn't I? Pity my date let me down by holding her dress together with a safety pin and refusing to eat her dinner...

So you can post on important stuff eh?
Poor old Revol misses you so much.

revol68 "the voice of britain"
Posts: 17899 Joined: 23-02-04 Location: Belfast, BRITAIN
7 May, 2007 - 14:56
Wayne wrote:
Quote:
Wayne made me fake tan his legs when he had to wear a kilt at a wedding.

Fuck you. Looked fucking good but didn't I? Pity my date let me down by holding her dress together with a safety pin and refusing to eat her dinner...

I told you I was a size 8 before you bought the dress, dickhead!

xConorx "facts tend to cloud my judgement"
Posts: 10827 Joined: 09-12-04 Location: Belfast
7 May, 2007 - 15:19

do you look like this Jess,

or like a black and white minstrel?

madashell "KSW, LOL"
Posts: 3114 Joined: 19-06-06 Location: Merseyside
7 May, 2007 - 15:24
Peter wrote:
Wouldn't it be easier to move to a country where you actually see the sun.

We had four whole days of sun last week angry

lucy_parsons "Cunt saboteur"
Posts: 309 Joined: 13-05-05 Location: Manchester
7 May, 2007 - 18:01
Quote:
my date let me down by holding her dress together with a safety pin

That's punk, beatch. And it was my bra, not my dress.

revol68 "the voice of britain"
Posts: 17899 Joined: 23-02-04 Location: Belfast, BRITAIN
7 May, 2007 - 18:06
lucy_parsons wrote:
Quote:
my date let me down by holding her dress together with a safety pin

That's punk, beatch. And it was my bra, not my dress.

where Wayne's from you are and always will be 'a hippy'.

Alan "Getting drunk, playing punk on a stylophone"
Posts: 5173 Joined: 28-09-04 Location: SE4
8 May, 2007 - 00:21
madashell wrote:
Peter wrote:
Wouldn't it be easier to move to a country where you actually see the sun.

We had four whole days of sun last week angry

Don't be crazy, it's never sunny anywhere north of East Anglia. And it's always cold north of the river. Essex is fuckin freezing in fact.

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