Funniest thing you read today

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potrokin
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Jul 8 2017 15:13

http://newsthump.com/2017/07/08/outrage-as-outrage-sparks-fresh-outrage-...

wojtek
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Jul 9 2017 07:57

That was unexpected

potrokin
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Jul 10 2017 09:51

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QhNxWz7fP5Y

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1egGhcSPW2w

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9gg4SKo8JaU

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bYfpWXGF3dg

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Craftwork
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Jul 9 2017 22:52

petey
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Jul 10 2017 18:25

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Comrade Motopu
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Jul 10 2017 22:02

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Craftwork
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Jul 12 2017 17:30

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Comrade Motopu
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Jul 13 2017 09:07

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Craftwork
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Jul 13 2017 16:01

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Khawaga
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Jul 13 2017 16:26

Wow, that cover is really something.

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Craftwork
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Jul 14 2017 22:48

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Reddebrek
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Jul 15 2017 00:21

mn8
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Jul 15 2017 08:49
Craftwork wrote:
(U2 frontman chased...)

Excellent....

potrokin
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Jul 15 2017 17:08

http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/health/vegans-still-claiming-they-hav...

VEGANS have repeated their claim that they have their own type of cheese.

Despite being told they are demonstrably wrong, the vegans keep saying it, as if somehow that could eventually make it true.

Vegan Tom Booker said: “When I first went vegan, I was excited to tell all my non-vegan friends about how I was saving the world, and how they were all basically Nazis.

“But I was also quite sad about pizza.

“I needn’t have worried, because we have our own vegan cheese, and it tastes exactly the same as planet-destroying cow cheese, but without the aftertaste of murder. You can barely even tell that it’s made from nuts.”

He added: “We also have our own nut milk.”

Booker’s girlfriend, Emma Bradshaw, said: “It’s great that Tom’s so involved in some fucking cause. But it’s not cheese, it’s a rubbery, beige delusion.”

potrokin
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Jul 15 2017 17:17

http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/politics/politics-headlines/may-shed-tear-...

THERESA May has admitted that the ‘devastating’ election result made her shed a tear which burned through a desk, three floors and an intern.

The tear, which the prime minister said was shed ‘for Britain’, rolled down her face like a bead of liquid mercury and hit the desk with a bang and flash which blinded everybody in the room.

When the smoke cleared, party staff realised from the screams downstairs that it had burned straight through the floor and was causing chaos on the level below.

May said: “It kept slowly burning through carpet, concrete and steel without showing any diminishing of its size or effect. The ceiling tiles looked like a meteor had hit them.

“Luckily on the third floor it landed on an intern and on contact with flesh began to mutate into something new and horrifying, which gave us time to stop it.

“The tear was eventually extracted and is being kept in a secure facility at Porton Down.”

May added: “They believe my little tear could be used to create a new bioweapon which could lay waste to whole continents. Nice one.”

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Pennoid
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Jul 15 2017 17:22
Quote:
Authorities in LENINGRAD, Florida, are battling an onslaught of graffiti depicting a three-buttocked arse. NBC affiliate WFLA reports that the design has appeared at least twenty times across the city. It is thought to be the calling card of a single anonymous artist, who police stress is breaking the law.

Fixed.

potrokin
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Jul 17 2017 08:42

http://newsthump.com/2017/07/17/george-a-romero-probably-dead/

Horror Director George A Romero may well be dead, but so far nobody has dared get close enough to make sure.

Romero, who created the zombie genre of films and inspired generations of writers, directors and game creators to follow in his shambling, bloodied footsteps, is understood to have stopped breathing last night but that means nothing. Nothing, you fools.

Fans and followers have been very carefully showing their respects from a safe distance; you know, just in case.

His influence over contemporary pop-culture was immense: from World War Z to The Walking Dead to the White Walkers of Game of Thrones, it is unlikely that any of these things would have happened if he hadn’t filmed a low-budget shocker in 1968 – a shocker that was far deeper than it appeared upon first sight.

That film, Night of the Living Dead, has been described as the only film ‘to truly capture what Pittsburgh is all about’.

Using horror as social commentary, he went on to cover consumerism, militarism and economics followed – inspiring in his wake creatives such as Peter Jackson, Guillermo del Toro and Stephen King.

He also inspired Eli Roth, but you can’t have everything.

Romero had a fierce satirical mind which highlighted the absurdities of modern life through the medium of taking ideas to their logical extreme and ridiculing them, but we here at NewsThump wouldn’t know anything about that.

Rest in Peace, George. Please.

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Entdinglichung
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Jul 17 2017 14:11

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2017/jul/17/utopian-thinking-s...

Quote:
What if all students spent a year working the land before university?

wojtek
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Jul 17 2017 18:46

You have to get them out of bed first. tongue
Taiwan woman divorces husband who ignored her messages

Quote:
Ms Lin's husband can file an appeal after receiving the court ruling by certified mail. But it seems unlikely to happen.
According to Judge Kao, he has never showed up for a court hearing and hasn't responded to any of the court's other notices.
And unlike Line messages, the court can't even tell if he's "Read" them.

petey
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Jul 17 2017 19:14
potrokin wrote:
http://newsthump.com/2017/07/17/george-a-romero-probably-dead/

Horror Director George A Romero may well be dead, but so far nobody has dared get close enough to make sure.

Romero, who created the zombie genre of films and inspired generations of writers, directors and game creators to follow in his shambling, bloodied footsteps, is understood to have stopped breathing last night but that means nothing. Nothing, you fools.

Fans and followers have been very carefully showing their respects from a safe distance; you know, just in case.

His influence over contemporary pop-culture was immense: from World War Z to The Walking Dead to the White Walkers of Game of Thrones, it is unlikely that any of these things would have happened if he hadn’t filmed a low-budget shocker in 1968 – a shocker that was far deeper than it appeared upon first sight.

That film, Night of the Living Dead, has been described as the only film ‘to truly capture what Pittsburgh is all about’.

Using horror as social commentary, he went on to cover consumerism, militarism and economics followed – inspiring in his wake creatives such as Peter Jackson, Guillermo del Toro and Stephen King.

He also inspired Eli Roth, but you can’t have everything.

Romero had a fierce satirical mind which highlighted the absurdities of modern life through the medium of taking ideas to their logical extreme and ridiculing them, but we here at NewsThump wouldn’t know anything about that.

Rest in Peace, George. Please.

hhhaaahahaha grin

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Entdinglichung
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Jul 18 2017 09:23

found at https://www.facebook.com/jacobinmag/photos/a.208590562500986.65414.14302...

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Entdinglichung
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Jul 24 2017 08:33

http://weeklyworker.co.uk/worker/1164/letters/

Quote:
Pleading

Every week your letters page is clogged up with tedious, long-winded guff by Steve Freeman and Gerry Downing.

Can we please have a moratorium on this until I’m dead. My son will contact you when the inevitable happens. If I have to read any more of their crap, that day will be a lot sooner. Please!

Doug Lowe
email

potrokin
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Jul 24 2017 11:55

http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/sport/sport-headlines/men-arent-really-equ...

QUESTIONS have been raised as to whether men’s sport should be given equal coverage to women’s sport.

Yesterday saw England’s cricketers win the women’s world cup in a thrilling finale before England’s footballers beat Spain 2-0 at the women’s European Championships, something the men’s team will never achieve without drugs.

Sport watcher Wayne Hayes said: “It’s time we admitted that men aren’t really equipped to do sport. They lack the determination, the passion, and most of all, the killer instinct that sets our sportswomen apart from the ordinary bloke on the street.

“Giving men’s sport equal coverage is a good idea in theory, but I don’t know anyone who actually enjoys watching it.”

Football fan Tom Logan added: “Watching the Lionesses, I felt enjoyment, mixed with excitement and pride. As an England supporter I’ve never experienced any of those emotions before.”

Meanwhile, a British man did achieve some sporting success at the weekend but no-one cared because all he did was ride around France on his bicycle

wojtek
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Jul 24 2017 13:51

Stick Corbyn on an assembly line.

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Craftwork
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Jul 25 2017 14:20

Bank robbers with Trump masks blow-up cash machines in Italy.

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Craftwork
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Jul 25 2017 22:21

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Entdinglichung
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Jul 27 2017 08:30

more than 40 years old but newly made available on MIA:

https://www.marxists.org/history/erol/ncm-3/ol-iran.htm

Quote:
The very existence of Iran as a member of OPEC is strong indication of the progressive direction of the Shah’s regime in relation to imperialism.

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Entdinglichung
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Jul 27 2017 11:55
Entdinglichung wrote:
http://weeklyworker.co.uk/worker/1164/letters/

Quote:
Pleading

Every week your letters page is clogged up with tedious, long-winded guff by Steve Freeman and Gerry Downing.

Can we please have a moratorium on this until I’m dead. My son will contact you when the inevitable happens. If I have to read any more of their crap, that day will be a lot sooner. Please!

Doug Lowe
email

from https://tendancecoatesy.wordpress.com/2017/07/21/weekly-worker-letter-of...

Quote:
Isn’t the whole purpose of the WW letters page to present a circus of weirdness which makes WW positions seem almost sane and rational in comparison?

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Reddebrek
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Jul 30 2017 02:42
ajjohnstone
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Jul 30 2017 06:41
Quote:
Isn’t the whole purpose of the WW letters page to present a circus of weirdness which makes WW positions seem almost sane and rational in comparison?

sad

Perhaps that is why they always publish my letters. Libcom is always guaranteed to deflate egos