Funniest thing you read today

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petey
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Jul 30 2017 12:51
Reddebrek wrote:

I'm dubious of posadistcaucus, since it's Gold Glove, not "Golden Glove".
Go with DSAposadists.
Sorted.

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Entdinglichung
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Aug 2 2017 11:06

http://www.newstatesman.com/politics/media/2017/08/why-person-pretending-be-mp-deptford-and-greenwich

Quote:
While our politicians may be known for spinning the truth, a new MP on the block is currently taking it to the next level. Ana Key (gettit?) is fooling people online by pretending to be the Socialist and TUSC (Trade Unionist and Socialist Coalition) MP for the non-existent constituency of “Deptford and Greenwich”.

...

zugzwang
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Aug 2 2017 20:40

Has hell frozen over? A Marxian economist on Fox News? I want to see Chomsky with "Fox and Friends" next.

potrokin
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Aug 9 2017 10:57

http://newsthump.com/2017/08/09/men-with-two-smallest-cocks-in-the-world-escalate-international-dick-waving-contest/

Donald Trump and Kim Jong-Un have escalated their risible dick-waving contest today.

Trump, who is so insecure about the size of his dong that he has made impromptu speeches about how big it is, told reporters that he has an absolutely huge todger, far bigger than Kim’s, and a lot of people say that.

Meanwhile, Kim Jong-Un, who is so fat he hasn’t seen his own penis without a mirror in over five years, responded by dancing around shouting that he has a massive – yes massive – wang and if he got it out – which he might – then you’d be terrified.

“We must be vigilant to prevent Kim Jong-Un penetrating the US by the back door and lobbing in big ones from behind our backs,” said Trump in a speech that inadvertently said a lot more about him than his opponent.

Kim responded to Trump’s increase in pressure by threatening to whip it out at any moment, just you see if he won’t.

“I could, you know, and you’d all be amazed how big it is,” he told senior party cadres to rapturous applause.

“The only reason I don’t is because I’m a kind a generous man who doesn’t want to shame others. Yes, that’s it.”

Much of the world is ambivalent about the ongoing conflict, with many people saying that if they want to watch unlikeable twats wave their dicks at each other there’s the lead up to the Mayweather/ McGregor fight for that.

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Entdinglichung
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Aug 14 2017 14:03

https://workersspatula.wordpress.com/2015/12/04/us-anarchists-and-liberals-celebrate-murray-bookchin-leader-of-the-kurdish-people/

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Entdinglichung
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Aug 17 2017 09:07

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=1421771261192539&set=a.159907990712212.24575.100000790378886&type=3&theater

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sabot
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Aug 22 2017 16:32

http://rochdaleherald.co.uk/2017/08/20/mariah-carey-records-shock-cover-of-dead-kennedys-nazi-punks-fuck-off-in-support-of-antifa/

Quote:
Born again Christian pop singer and self styled “voice of the MTV generation” Mariah Carey, has sent shock waves through tin pan alley with the announcement that she has recorded a cover of the Dead Kennedy’s “Nazi Punks Fuck Off” to be released as a single and with the proceeds to be donated to US anti Fascist action group ANTIFA
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jef costello
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Aug 24 2017 12:06

All definitions of antifa on urban dictionary

" In the United States, antifa stands for anti-First Amendment. While many claim that the group is anti-fascist, their actions have focused on shouting down and in some cases physically attacking those who oppose Progressive big government.
Antifa demonstrators were seen attacking participants at a pro-Trump rally/ "

Another good one has a dialogue between 'antifascist' and 'Not a Subhuman'

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Entdinglichung
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Aug 24 2017 19:50

http://newsinfo.inquirer.net/923896/communist-party-of-the-philippines-jose-maria-duterte-cabinet-judy-taguiwalo

Quote:
Communist Party of the Philippines founder Jose Maria (Joma) Sison on Friday called on the remaining leftists in the Duterte administration not to step down from their posts despite the Commission on Appointments (CA) rejection of Social Welfare Secretary Judy Taguiwalo.

In an online interview, Sison said that if the leftist appointees resigned, they would “assume the burden of explaining why they are resigning.”

“It is better for the public to see why good public servants are being dumped by the corrupt and incompetent politicians in the Palace and Congress,” he said.

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Entdinglichung
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Aug 26 2017 08:58

https://punx.uk/product/no-i-not-like-copy-socialist-worker-t-shirt/

potrokin
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Aug 31 2017 09:23

http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/politics/politics-headlines/may-goes-in-for-upgrade-20170831134900

THERESA May has been returned to her Japanese manufacturers Hitachi for a full factory upgrade.

The prime minister is ostensibly in Japan for a trade deal it has confirmed it will not discuss and to pick fights with North Korea, but is actually receiving an overdue software, firmware and hardware systems reboot.

AI specialist Shinichi Matsutoya said: “I warned you that version could not win an election. It just gives you the blue screen of death.

“We’ve been patching as best we can, and thankfully she didn’t get hit in the ransomware attack because she never could network with the NHS, but she really needs a complete rebuild.

“’Brexit means Brexit’? They get stuck in a feedback loop if you change their function while you’re still running the same kernel. Surprised nobody spotted it.”

Matsutoya added: “Do try and keep her away from anything… ethical. Or she’ll just overheat again.”

potrokin
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Sep 1 2017 07:30

http://newsthump.com/2017/08/31/theresa-may-drunkenly-announces-intention-to-fight-general-election/

The Tory party was left reeling last night after Theresa May, after spending an afternoon on the sake in Tokyo, drunkenly announced that she will lead the Tories into the next election.

Mrs May, currently in Japan to desperately plead with them not to forget us after Brexit, added that she would ‘take the f**king lot of you on’.

The Prime Minister made the claims in a shambolic BBC interview.

“Well, it was clear the PM was drunk for the moment she said she was definitely going to lead the party into the next election,” said a Tory party insider.

“I mean, obviously. Only a thoroughly inebriated person would make that claim in her position.”

However, despite making such an absurd claim, the interview only went downhill from there.

“Well, I think the catastrophic flatulence was probably the worst thing. Poor old Ben Wright looked like he was about to turn green. I had no idea that sake had such a disastrous effect on the gastric system.

“The PM then went on to state that Phillip Hammond ‘could f**k off for a start, the poncey streak of piss,’ she visibly adjusted her underwear as her ‘pants are halfway up my f**king arse’, and suggested that she could beat up Jeremy Corbyn ‘no bother’.”

The interview ended in disarray as a voice off camera could be heard shouting ‘kebab mate?’ Before the PM staggered off muttering ‘f**king mint. Better be enough hot sauce on’.

The interview is already being considered as one of her more competent performances since becoming Prime Minister.

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Entdinglichung
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Sep 6 2017 08:36

republished texts: http://quatrieme-internationale-posadiste.org/EN/livre-32-the-tasks-for-the-left-in-the-labour-party.php

potrokin
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Sep 6 2017 14:45

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-bristol-41167296

A woman who threw her poo out of her date's toilet window because it "would not flush" had to be rescued after she got stuck trying to retrieve it.

The amateur gymnast was on a first date with Bristol student Liam Smith when she "panicked" and threw the faeces out of the window.

It did not land in the garden, but became wedged between two non-opening windows.

After climbing in head first after it, she became wedged.

Mr Smith had to call the fire service for help.

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Khawaga
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Sep 6 2017 17:14
Quote:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-bristol-41167296

A woman who threw her poo out of her date's toilet window because it "would not flush" had to be rescued after she got stuck trying to retrieve it.

The amateur gymnast was on a first date with Bristol student Liam Smith when she "panicked" and threw the faeces out of the window.

It did not land in the garden, but became wedged between two non-opening windows.

After climbing in head first after it, she became wedged.

Mr Smith had to call the fire service for help.

That's hilarious and kind of reminds me of a scene from There is Something About Mary

wojtek
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Sep 8 2017 01:17

https://mobile.twitter.com/MundialMag/status/905523577524555777

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Craftwork
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Sep 9 2017 20:56


cactus9
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Sep 11 2017 18:11

Last paragraph.

https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2017/sep/11/leadership-hopeful-warns-wrong-leader-could-turn-ukip-into-uks-nazi-party-henry-bolton

potrokin
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Sep 11 2017 18:16

Holy fuck- thats priceless!

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Entdinglichung
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Sep 14 2017 20:50

https://www.facebook.com/lovechaosmagick/photos/a.1422047418081253.1073741829.1419728618313133/1949973275288662/?type=3&theater

potrokin
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Sep 15 2017 16:00

http://newsthump.com/2017/09/15/london-tube-bomb-so-shit-not-even-isis-willing-to-claim-responsibility/

The bomb on the London Underground today was so shit that not even ISIS have claimed to be behind it.

ISIS, who are so miserably desperate they’ll claim to be responsible for tailbacks on the A14, your milk going off and Russ Abbott’s Madhouse back in the 1980s, have decided that this risible attempt is beneath even them – and that’s saying something.

“In the name of Allah, the just, the merciful, this was nothing to do with us squire,” said ISIS spokesman Shimonu Al-Qwilliams from behind a cratered wall somewhere in the last corner of Raqqa that they still control.

“You remember that time you trod in dog poo and then walked on your new carpet before you noticed? That was us. And when you got so pissed you ate a dodgy kebab and had really bad squitters in the morning? That was us too.

“But this pathetic effort? It’s too crap even for us.

“By the beard of the prophet you infidels have been warned – when we strike, the delays on the District Line will be more than the usual twenty minutes!”

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Craftwork
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Sep 17 2017 16:57

cactus9
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Sep 18 2017 22:59

https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2017/sep/18/bare-mountain-man-who-climbed-peak-in-pants-gets-hypothermia

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Serge Forward
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Sep 19 2017 07:50

That's actually quite sad. The whole teenager does something silly to support his dying grandmother, without fully thinking through the consequences, and almost dies himself schtick isn't exactly comedy gold.

wojtek
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Sep 19 2017 12:43

http://www.aljazeera.com/programmes/witness/2017/09/fairy-tales-fashion-misfit-china-170910090449457.html

potrokin
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Sep 21 2017 12:31

http://newsthump.com/2017/09/21/lara-crofts-tits-should-be-bigger-insists-man-with-fantastic-priorities/

A man has reacted to a trailer for the new Tomb Raider film with a complaint regarding breasts.

Simon Williams, 31, watched the trailer for the new film in the spare room of his mum’s house, before simply saying “no” and slamming his laptop shut.

“Large knockers are key to Lara Croft’s character,” insisted Williams.

“A decent script and good action set-pieces are a distant second, I’m afraid. I should know, I’ve played all of the Tomb Raider games and large breasts of varying graphical quality were definitely the highlight.

“It’s blatant oversights like these that mean video game movies are rarely taken seriously or reviewed well. Some good bouncy action will put paid to all of that- at least for me, anyway.”

Simon’s mother said, “I’m very proud of Simon for standing up for what he believes in. I have to say that, I suppose, even if what he believes in is frivolous at best and a dreadful reflection on how I raised him.”

Film producer, Jay Cooper, said, “We welcome all feedback, apart from Martin’s, obviously, because it’s stupid.”

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Craftwork
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Sep 25 2017 22:31

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Entdinglichung
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Oct 2 2017 15:58

found at https://www.facebook.com/Being.a.Socialist/photos/pcb.1479818015405353/1479817938738694/?type=3&theater

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Craftwork
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Oct 12 2017 19:55

get you a man who can do both

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Craftwork
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Oct 14 2017 17:32