Funniest thing you read today

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Sike's picture
Sike
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Apr 3 2018 20:10

10-Year-Old Steals Parents' Car, Tells Cops He's a 'Dwarf'

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Sike
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Apr 3 2018 20:15

Kind of old but still funny;

Another Cop Accidentally Shoots Himself Instead of the Dog He was Trying to Kill

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Apr 4 2018 13:59

https://athousandflowers.net/2018/03/08/how-weekly-wanker-became-a-global-brand/

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Apr 15 2018 21:04

zugzwang
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Apr 16 2018 01:06
Craftwork wrote:

Hmm, I don't feel comfortable owning the same chair as them. Anyway, I knew Alex Jones would be calling Trump a NWO shill, or something to that effect, eventually. Oh and I love the "emergency 34 hour broadcast" bit.

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Apr 22 2018 03:13

The ending of this video made me chuckle.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HeJmbamnhH8

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Apr 23 2018 14:53

probably not funny at all:

http://posadiststoday.com/syria-reconquers-sovereignty/

Quote:
As for what is happening in the capitalist countries of the Western world today, each struggle in defence of our already-acquired social gains stands in direct confrontation with global capital. There is an objective united front in the world: it is between the struggle of the working class and masses in the capitalist countries, and the courageous anti-imperialist alliance China-Russia-Iran-Syria. In our capitalist countries – particularly in the United States and Europe – the organisations of the left are facing the need to integrate and reinforce this [objectively] united anti-imperialist front.
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Apr 26 2018 10:56

from http://www.icl-fi.org/english/wv/1132/china.html

Quote:
... the Chinese economy operates in a way that is fundamentally different from capitalism.
radicalgraffiti
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Apr 26 2018 11:32

https://twitter.com/LaborwaveCCCP/status/988148750119038982

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Apr 27 2018 10:19
radicalgraffiti wrote:
https://twitter.com/LaborwaveCCCP/status/988148750119038982

Bono is missing

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Apr 28 2018 21:54

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Apr 29 2018 07:39

There was an article on 90s ‘Lager Lass’ TV show ‘The Girly Show’ called ‘Wanker of the Week’. It was pretty optimal!

https://youtu.be/kSAaQgPwSa4

wojtek
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Apr 30 2018 13:43

https://www.lrb.co.uk/blog/2018/04/27/danny-dorling/our-museum-future/

Nymphalis Antiopa
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May 4 2018 14:56

alternative comedy

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May 11 2018 09:18

Inspired by China, Britain’s communists dream of revolution for social and political change (South China Morning Post)

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May 12 2018 15:39

I don't know if people have seen much about what US Maoists have been up to these past few weeks, but some of it has been... interesting. Here's a sample:

Quote:
A comrade once noted that Saint Louis has the potential to be the storm center of anti-revisionism, and we have taken that to heart. We oppose revisionists and fake “revolutionary” organizations that ignore class interests and eschew Communist politics for liberal feel good activism. We oppose those who support working with gentrifiers under the auspices of cleaning up the community. Phony organisations like For The People-STL, Maoist in name only, that insist on building a United front with these class collaborators are revisionists of the highest caliber and will be struggled against relentlessly.

May Day, since its inception, has been drenched in the blood of our martyrs and should be treated as a celebration of uncompromising resistance against the ruling class. Cookouts are not an act of rebellion against the bourgeoisie...

Surrounded by a sea of leftists from various reformist and revisionist organizations at a May Day BBQ largely isolated from the masses, two Community Power Network affiliates confronted serial revisionist and attempted wrecker of the national Maoist Movement, Hei Hongbing (now going by Christopher Winston publicly) on his snitch and pig work, local attempts at wreckerism, and phony Maoism.

While no physical harm was done to anybody, cries from the left of “assault!” And pleas that May Day is about peace and unity further reinforce the necessity of stomping out revisionism and the many ways is rears its anti-people head at every turn. Not an inch will be given to the service of the ruling class, whether consciously or not.

From their promotion of electoral politics and working with gentrifiers, to the failure of a Maoist organization to apply the mass line by encouraging store clerks to call the cops on drug dealers instead of offering solutions, the struggle against revisionism will be a long and protracted one. However, with the spirit of revolutionary optimism, the reclamation of revolutionary violence and the masses behind us, we can defeat revisionism amongst the left and successfully aid in the construction of the Party.

The one about how to apply the mass line when struggling with someone who's being postmodern by being late to things was pretty memorable as well.

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May 22 2018 11:25

https://www.change.org/p/michael-hancock-rename-denver-co-after-enver-hoxha

Quote:
Rename the city of Denver, Colorado after the late former Marxist-Leninist leader of Albania, Enver Hoxha. We also demand that the underground bunker at 'Denver' Airport is brought under workers' control.

#EnverNotDenver #MakeDenverEnverAgain #DropTheD

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May 29 2018 05:36

https://www.independent.ie/irish-news/abortion-referendum/brothers-who-moved-to-ireland-to-live-in-a-country-without-abortion-claim-referendum-was-rigged-36949437.html

Quote:

Two young American men, whose family moved from Washington State about a decade ago because they wanted to live in a country without abortion, have expressed their deep sadness at the emphatic yes vote.

Patrick Lauser (24) and his brother Josiah (19) who live near Cork Airport hail from a family of eight.

Patrick, who is now an Irish citizen, said he was shocked by the election result which he insisted was "rigged."

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May 29 2018 08:48

Clearly a horse-drawn cart is missing from the photo.

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May 31 2018 09:37

https://www.rt.com/op-ed/428134-royal-wedding-uk-zizek/

Quote:
Progressives who are inclined to lash out at the monarchy and have fired their vitriol at the new Duke and Duchess of Sussex may be missing the point.

Leftist critics were right about Britain’s recent royal wedding, but for the wrong reason. They conceded how Meghan Markle is a sympathetic figure - a feminist and a mixed-race woman - but they opposed the form of monarchy that was celebrated (if we ignore a few complaints about taxpayers’ money being spent).

What these critics failed to perceive is the emancipatory dimension of this form itself, of the big public ritual which socially links a community. To explain this point, we should go back to Novalis, the key figure of German Romanticism, who is usually perceived as a representative of the conservative turn of Romanticism, but his position is much more paradoxical.

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May 31 2018 18:56

https://news.vice.com/en_us/article/vbq38d/google-is-listing-nazism-as-the-first-ideology-of-the-california-republican-party?utm

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Jun 22 2018 18:44

wojtek
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Jun 25 2018 00:47

A Korean academy looking for an english paper/essay editor requests applicants' pics.
'Why would they want to know you look like?'
'White females from America in their early twenties have better handwriting duh'

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Jul 21 2018 11:04

https://www.fort-russ.com/2018/07/anti-stalinism-is-left-wing-racism-part-1/

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Jul 21 2018 18:59

WTF will be in part 2? I can't wait!

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Jul 22 2018 21:38

didn't read it but..

My 3 year old: Dad... what is the form of capital?
Me: Huh!!? Ehh, well capital is the...
My 3 year old: No Dad. What is the FORM of capital.
Me: Eeh! Well the form is
My 3 year old: NO! THE FORM!!! WHAT IS THE FORM DAD! THE FORM!!!
Me: gives up and cries

The backstory is that one of the few songs 90% of the swedish population can sing along to goes on about how "state and capital are in the same boat together but they arent the ones rowing" it has lots of verses and describes various aspects of capitalism. We listened to both the original from early seventies and the punk cover (more famous) from 1980 during a long car trip. Why he was on about the form was a bit of a mystery however.

70's
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sTAvm_Fk09M

80's punk
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mDoi6prDOcE

Crappy translation of the shorter punk version found on da interwebz:

Quote:
The State and Capital
Capital raises the rents,
and the state the housing allowance
So one can cheat a little crumb
with the iron wage law
And pay even less in wages
than the price for food and rent
Because the state runs better,
if the cost of living goes
even higher

Side by side, they help each other out
The state and capital sit in the same boat
But they aren’t the one’s rowing
Rowing so the sweat is dripping
And the whip that tickles, doesn’t tickle
their fat necks either

The charge of the schools is as it should
to teach the working class
If the brooms are going to clean properly
you can’t neglect the handle
Barriers and quotas and standardized tests,
it’s a system made to separate
The wheat from the chaff and move everyone
to their rightful home

Yes, side by side, together they push forward
The state and capital, two wolves in sheep's clothing
But they aren’t the one’s rowing
Rowing so the sweat is dripping
And the whip that tickles, doesn’t tickle
their fat necks either

Side by side, they help each other out
The state and capital sit in the same boat
But they aren’t the one’s rowing
Rowing so the sweat is dripping
And the whip that tickles, doesn’t tickle
their fat necks either

The tempo is raised by machines,
here we drill the elite
Production doesn’t have a place for the one
who has become threadbare
But so that no one thinks there is anything wrong
with the heavy piecework
He is put on disability and taken care of by the compassionate unemployment office

Yes, side by side, together they push forward
The state and capital, two wolves in sheep's clothing
But they aren’t the one’s rowing
Rowing so the sweat is dripping
And the whip that tickles, doesn’t tickle
their fat necks either

Side by side... Aaah aah aaaah!

Sadly you can find the equivalent of Tory youth singing along to it at their parties.

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Jul 23 2018 17:14
Cooked wrote:
one of the few songs 90% of the swedish population can sing along to goes on about how "state and capital are in the same boat together but they arent the ones rowing"

...

Sadly you can find the equivalent of Tory youth singing along to it at their parties.

I quite like it. How do the lyrics sound when you understand Swedish, compared to the english translation? "The day-to-day expansion rate is regulated by the business cycle, Then the woman is assigned to her place in the economic structure" is the sort of song only a left communist would write, with their usual eye for style. I remember someone posting up the songs Guy Debord and that lot wrote which i also thought sounded alright, but someone said that if you speak French it sounds a bit naff. Wondered if this was the case here too, or if the lyrics are catchier in Swedish.

Also, how did it happen that most people can sing it, is it the Swedish Tubthumping? Why do tory youth types sing it?

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Jul 23 2018 21:57
Uncreative wrote:
I quite like it. How do the lyrics sound when you understand Swedish, compared to the english translation? "The day-to-day expansion rate is regulated by the business cycle, Then the woman is assigned to her place in the economic structure" is the sort of song only a left communist would write, with their usual eye for style.

Hehe well the swedish lyrics work very well which I think is part of the reason even

Uncreative wrote:
tory youth types sing it?

That translation I quoted is not very elegant to say the least... Some songs have reached a status in sweden that's hard to compare with how it works in the UK. From my 12 years living there I never saw any evidence that songs reach that level in the UK. Could be just not getting it as an 'outsider' or the relative tiny population here. Or that swedes are obsessed with summer and some songs that get associated with it become long term massive.

There's an english wikipedia page for the band who wrote the song in the 70s.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bl%C3%A5_T%C3%A5get

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Jul 26 2018 21:24

https://mises.org/power-market/trumps-road-socialism

Quote:
In spite of the President’s claim that tariffs are “the greatest,” and trade wars are “easy to win,” the economic backlash was easy to foresee. In fact, as the political success Bernie Sanders and Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez have brought “democratic socialism” into the mainstream of the Democratic Party, Trump’s economic nationalism threatens to pave a road to the same destination.
Nymphalis Antiopa
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Jul 27 2018 06:14
Quote:
We ourselves represent the interests of the working class

said here - http://libcom.org/forums/theory/labours-anti-semitism-scandal-conclusive-proof-reformists-will-never-be-allowed-an?page=1#comment-608479 - by a guy who advotes voting in elections and who believes in political parties. A bad joke, and not particularly funny, but it's early yet and I haven't read all that much so far.