Limericks

j.rogue "Not as good as cops."
Posts: 1446 Joined: 08-04-07 Location: Not Texas
Submitted by j.rogue on 16 January, 2008 - 23:45.

Post them here. I'll start.

There once was a young man from Kent
Whose dick was so long it was bent.
To save his gal trouble,
He'd slip it in double,
And instead of coming, he went.

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xConorx "facts tend to cloud my judgement"
Posts: 10827 Joined: 09-12-04 Location: Belfast
16 January, 2008 - 23:52

There once was a lad from Larne
Equipped with mad internet charm
Dressed like a twat
In his stupid flatcap
He'll never do no-one no harm

grrregg "advertise here"
Posts: 747 Joined: 22-09-06 Location: the sticks, queensland
16 January, 2008 - 23:58
xConor wrote:
There once was a lad from Larne
Equipped with mad internet charm
Dressed like a twat
In his stupid flatcap
He'll never do no-one no harm

ROFL
Fuck off!!!! That's brilliant!
all the best.
gregg.
p.s. found out recently that I have a connection with Larne and some folks are heading there soon.

xConorx "facts tend to cloud my judgement"
Posts: 10827 Joined: 09-12-04 Location: Belfast
17 January, 2008 - 00:01

Larne's a fucking shit-hole

grrregg "advertise here"
Posts: 747 Joined: 22-09-06 Location: the sticks, queensland
17 January, 2008 - 00:02

I'll pass it on...

jef costello "Beautiful, just like Nuremburg"
Posts: 9964 Joined: 09-02-06 Location: razorblade of apathy, shave me with your irony
17 January, 2008 - 00:21

There once was a man from Nantucket
Whose dick was so long he could suck it
he said with a grin
wiping cum from his chin
if my ear was a cunt I could fuck it.

smile I'm sure I did a revol limerick once too

Steven. ""Best hair at Unison conference""
Posts: 1899 Joined: 27-06-06 Location: London
17 January, 2008 - 09:50
grrregg wrote:
xConor wrote:
There once was a lad from Larne
Equipped with mad internet charm
Dressed like a twat
In his stupid flatcap
He'll never do no-one no harm

ROFL
Fuck off!!!! That's brilliant!
all the best.
gregg.
p.s. found out recently that I have a connection with Larne

You wanna be careful how much you dig into that. My gf said that then she turns out to be a distant cousin of revol, no joke of a lie. Fuckin inbreds.

grrregg "advertise here"
Posts: 747 Joined: 22-09-06 Location: the sticks, queensland
17 January, 2008 - 10:13

It's the woman I live with's family but they're really tall so I think we're safe haha.
all the best.
gregg.

the button "jesus christ, john, have you actually even read any marx?"
Posts: 5636 Joined: 07-07-04 Location: Lewisham, London
17 January, 2008 - 19:24

There was a young poster named Jack,
Who at talking to women was cack.
Even though he'd read Cleaver,
He didn't get no beaver,
<your last line here>

jef costello "Beautiful, just like Nuremburg"
Posts: 9964 Joined: 09-02-06 Location: razorblade of apathy, shave me with your irony
17 January, 2008 - 19:40

I heard of a man called the button
who was turning from lamb into mutton
he didn't save the market
there was nowhere to park it
so he fucked off to go live in Sutton

the button "jesus christ, john, have you actually even read any marx?"
Posts: 5636 Joined: 07-07-04 Location: Lewisham, London
17 January, 2008 - 20:05

grin

A fiver for anyone who can come up a convincing rhyme for "Lewisham."

martinh "Wears loud shirts for the poor & oppressed"
Posts: 870 Joined: 08-03-06 Location: South East London
17 January, 2008 - 20:20

There's a young man called Costello
Who's rhymes were wrong, but mellow
For in SE thirteen
And points in between
The market traders still bellow

jef costello "Beautiful, just like Nuremburg"
Posts: 9964 Joined: 09-02-06 Location: razorblade of apathy, shave me with your irony
17 January, 2008 - 20:24

A spaceship fell down to the ground
In water Yoda himself found
In the Thames feel like fish am
go must to Lewisham
and buy some new kecks for a pound.

the button "jesus christ, john, have you actually even read any marx?"
Posts: 5636 Joined: 07-07-04 Location: Lewisham, London
17 January, 2008 - 20:28

No fiver for jef. cry

jef costello "Beautiful, just like Nuremburg"
Posts: 9964 Joined: 09-02-06 Location: razorblade of apathy, shave me with your irony
17 January, 2008 - 20:33

Ed was a young anna kid
a website was something he did
he should have learned sooner
he can't be a gooner
by birth he's already a yid

Refused "wee fuck'n' strings"
Posts: 6393 Joined: 28-09-04 Location: Newcastle-Upon-Tyne
17 January, 2008 - 20:42

I knew a young brummie trot
He joined Sol-Fed because it was hot
With his sectarian games,
And his politics flamed
He left for the CGB lot.

sad

xConorx "facts tend to cloud my judgement"
Posts: 10827 Joined: 09-12-04 Location: Belfast
17 January, 2008 - 23:19

I once knew a man named Refused
Bravado and charm he did ooze
He's Johhny Five's mate
He don't like the state
And boy was he easily amused

jef costello "Beautiful, just like Nuremburg"
Posts: 9964 Joined: 09-02-06 Location: razorblade of apathy, shave me with your irony
17 January, 2008 - 23:23

his name is Conor double x
he wants to get into your kecks
but keep it mum
he likes the bum
and sticks to the same sex

xConorx "facts tend to cloud my judgement"
Posts: 10827 Joined: 09-12-04 Location: Belfast
17 January, 2008 - 23:35

There once was this twat named Jef
He thought he was some poncy chef
Dissed xConorx
But got his face wrecked
And punched until blind dumb and deaf

grrregg "advertise here"
Posts: 747 Joined: 22-09-06 Location: the sticks, queensland
17 January, 2008 - 23:35

the was a man called Conor
if you wrestled him you'd be a goner
he needs to know how to fight
cos his music taste is shite
he don't like the doof
but I'm sure he's a poof
and I could go on
but don't wanna

xConorx "facts tend to cloud my judgement"
Posts: 10827 Joined: 09-12-04 Location: Belfast
17 January, 2008 - 23:35

Actually that sounds dead vicious - it's just for rhyming purposes Jef - I'm not a meanie!

xConorx "facts tend to cloud my judgement"
Posts: 10827 Joined: 09-12-04 Location: Belfast
17 January, 2008 - 23:36

Greggg what the fuck is "doof"?

grrregg "advertise here"
Posts: 747 Joined: 22-09-06 Location: the sticks, queensland
17 January, 2008 - 23:38

all that techno shit

jef costello "Beautiful, just like Nuremburg"
Posts: 9964 Joined: 09-02-06 Location: razorblade of apathy, shave me with your irony
17 January, 2008 - 23:38

I'm definitely not coming to this year's bookfair now.

grrregg "advertise here"
Posts: 747 Joined: 22-09-06 Location: the sticks, queensland
17 January, 2008 - 23:43

You have to go jef... you promised to sit on that xConox bastard for me after he taunted me and made me insecure about my body. Yooooouuuuuu prrrrooooooommmmissseddd

xConorx "facts tend to cloud my judgement"
Posts: 10827 Joined: 09-12-04 Location: Belfast
17 January, 2008 - 23:49

I sound really mean don't I? But I'm not, I'm sound and very polite in real life.

grrregg "advertise here"
Posts: 747 Joined: 22-09-06 Location: the sticks, queensland
18 January, 2008 - 00:25

Nah, you're alright mate. Your 'good guy' tag is still well and truly intact tongue

xConorx "facts tend to cloud my judgement"
Posts: 10827 Joined: 09-12-04 Location: Belfast
18 January, 2008 - 00:31

Cool, I'm a wuss in real life.

grrregg "advertise here"
Posts: 747 Joined: 22-09-06 Location: the sticks, queensland
18 January, 2008 - 00:45

I'm exactly the same sad

Refused "wee fuck'n' strings"
Posts: 6393 Joined: 28-09-04 Location: Newcastle-Upon-Tyne
18 January, 2008 - 10:42
jef costello wrote:
I'm definitely not coming to this year's bookfair now.

I'll protect you, jef costello. grin

Peter Good
Posts: 268 Joined: 18-04-05
18 January, 2008 - 11:39

An Anarcho-syndicalist from Australia
Once painted his bum like a Dahlia.
It went quite well
At threepence a smell
But at sixpence a lick
Twas a failure

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