odds this is about Jack - 2:1 on?
Free Association/Disassociation
You need to all agree, formally, ground rules for participating in the group, and in its discussions. Make these so that they exclude how this guy behaving. Then, as rkn said, you need a chair/facilitator whose job it (by commitment to the group as a whole) to slap down people stepping outside those rules. By interrupting them, not selecting them to speak, etc. Sounds harsh perhaps, but best that things be dealt with swiftly, demoractically, and in the open.
The other thing you could do - on the lack of real commitment thing - is try targetting specific tasks at them to try and encourage them to be useful.
Also, probably try and not to let them ever speak to any member of the public.
Quote:
Also, probably try and not to let them ever speak to any member of the public.
That's a common one that comes up all the time. The number of times I've been in a discussion of some sort in public and some toss has went on a rant about CAPITALISTS!!!! PRIVATIZING!!!!!!!!!!!!! things or somesuch when it's not remotely relevant and will alienate fuckloads of people...
As others have said try structuring your meetings so that way discussions have to be in order.
Check these out for some ideas,
how you can deal with this depends how your group is organized and if there are people with decent mediation skills.
situations like this can be tough, but when possible its best to address the issues as behavior rather than as 'a destructive person'. course, this isnt always possible, and can reach its limits. where these limits are i guess are subjective...
bear in mind, its impossible to know anyone elses mental health state, so try to never tell anyone to fuck off or be devaluing of this person as a person. maybe there could be a skillshare set up to discuss how to contribute helpfully to meetings/self-facilitate? this sounds patronising, but not everyone has the tools to engage with structures that are already in place. and to be realistic, often groups dont follow their own self-arranged procedures perfectly, either.
from what your original post said, its sounds like this person is derailing stuff a bit. if a fac skillshare doesn appeal to you, how about suggesting a group self-review? this can give people an opportunity to talk about the dynamics of the group openly - tho you should be careful it doesn become either a tribunal-style meeting or a chance for everyone to list their complaints against this dude.
i dunno. personally i think its always best to try to change the behavior of people rather than chnage the personnel you organise with. but maybe their beahvior is too ingrained, maybe they have already felt pissed off by other peoel and wont listen anymore, maybe they have mental health issues which arent easily or quickly dealth with, maybe their behavioral patterns arent something that can be altered in isolated meetings when theres constant reinforcement outside of meetings.
sorry this isnt the most useful post! but i do think that is crucually, imperatively important to our organising that we have mechanisms/ skills for including people - but also confronting behavioral patterns that are destructive. when there arent, groups can often start to haemmorrhage other useful members...
let us know how it goes.
Just wanted to ask people what they thought of this particular situation. If they've had something similar happen to them, what they did etc.
In our group, we have had someone get involved who has managed to offend just about anyone of standing within and on the fringes of the group. He dominates meetings, and I've had people telling me that he has actually put them off being involved in the group all together. In addition, this guy has many "great ideas" which are massively beyond the scope of the group, yet puts in no real commitment to anything they take on, or say they're going to do. Even the smallest task they've taken on is too much and has to be passed on. In addition, this guy has such a lack of social skills that they're rude, and hard to get along with.
Now what should be done about it? Someone has alreay had a word with him about it, and the person seemed vaguely shocked that they'd offended people. He's well meaning, but I think he's detrimental to the group - that said, it's such a small group, that it seems a bit mad to want to get rid of someone, it just seems that would be best for all of us.
People who've had and dealt with similar things I'd like to hear your responses!