Serial monogamy

I reckon you'd be a jealous bastard in real life.

lol

Clarification
1) My sexual activity is not a political act in and of itself.
2) I enjoy it and have been known to "put it about"
3) The point at which it becomes in any way worth discussion on political boards is the point when I am oppressed for my personal behaviour. Which I am not suggesing is particularly happening now. Although I do have to pretend to have a normal hetero/monogamous lifestyle to not be ostracised in my workplace/community.
4) To the best of my knowledge I've not had sex with anyone who's contributed to this thread so far. In fact I think I've only ever met john. in real life and I'm fairly confident we've never had sex, though there were many drunken nights back-in-the-day.
5) I wasn't having a go at anyone for their sexual/relationship preferences. The only reason I mentioned mine was to contextualise my response and to say that I might have a bias as that is my preference.
6) I've aways thought LR was quite hot too. In a lascivious Sunday brunch in bed kinda way.

Personally I've always felt its a hang up for the empty lives most of us lead as workers/consumers that love is primarily quantified by how much pain and jealousy it induces. As somebody who very rarely feels jealous, and on the 2 occasions where I did feel it it was so obviously due to my own insecurities, I've found it hard to empathise with lovers who did express, or want me to express in that way, the power of their emotions via how awful i was when I/them wasn't around etc. Do we really doubt the authenticity of our hearts that much? What happened to ecstasy at being in someone's presense? Delight in intimacy? It seems that the culturally acceptable (ok, what I learned from watching soap operas is the social norm) way of expressing love is to look thunderously at any potential "rival" for your love.

Ah right and this isn't vaguely political or judgemental about anyone, no?

revol68 wrote:

Ah right and this isn't vaguely political or judgemental about anyone, no?

No. It wasn't. I have absolutely no problems with how anybody decides to lead their sexual relationships as long as its between consenting adults.

ginger wrote:

revol68 wrote:

Ah right and this isn't vaguely political or judgemental about anyone, no?

No. It wasn't. I have absolutely no problems with how anybody decides to lead their sexual relationships as long as its between consenting adults.

well i'm not suggesting you plan to set up a front group about it but quite clearly is a political statement and rather judgemental as well.

some castrated leftist hippy wank fantasy where it's all very civilised, level headed and rational, where you do yoga whilst the stinking hippy in the next room fucks the person you love and then youse all sit down to some tofu together.

some castrated leftist hippy wank fantasy where it's all very civilised, level headed and rational, where you do yoga whilst the stinking hippy in the next room fucks the person you love and then youse all sit down to some tofu together.

your bullshit rant about jealousy, as if it can be reduced to closed minded brain washed drones

Quote:

some castrated leftist hippy wank fantasy where it's all very civilised, level headed and rational, where you do yoga whilst the stinking hippy in the next room fucks the person you love and then youse all sit down to some tofu together.

see I was pointing out that it's not polyamarous relationships that annoy me but some of the smug self satisfied shit that accompanies it, attitudes that you summed up perfectly with your bullshit rant about jealousy, as if it can be reduced to closed minded brain washed drones. I don't have a problem with a whole range of emotions and as i said hate this 'right on' bullshit were people are expected to hide/suppress such emotions because they are political incorrect, for me jealously, hurt and a whole spectrum of emotions are not just bad side products of capitalism blah blah blah but form part of a full human experiance.

Jealousy is most common when somebody feels insecure, mistreated, threatened, or vulnerable in a relationship. If you feel secure in a relationship, you don't get jealous. Jealousy is not the problem; jealousy is the SYMPTOM of the problem. Address the insecurity or the things underlying the feelings of vulnerability, and you address the jealousy. So the trick to making a poly relationship work is to make everyone involved feel secure, valued, and loved.

A poly relationship depends much more than a traditional relationship on mutual security and trust. Even the smallest amount of insecurity in a poly relationship can quickly be magnified to the point where it can be lethal to the relationship.

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your bullshit rant about jealousy, as if it can be reduced to closed minded brain washed drones

On the contrary. Ginger elevates jealousy to the status of a sexual peccadillo. Like bondage, say, or foot worhsip.

peccadillo : a very minor or slight sin or offense; a trifling fault.
[Origin: 1585–95; < Sp pecadillo, dim. of pecado sin < L peccātum transgression, n. use of neut. of ptp. of peccāre to err, offend]

From lem (I think I am "you")

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i'm not sure if you're saying that others here are conventional. a bit of a weird thing to point out in friendly discussion, as i was not aware that how unconventaional one is an important political or even ethical point..

Wouldn't dream of saying any such thing, lem.

I must say that while the discussion continues to be interesting it hasn't engaged much with the point that what challenges "polyamory" and other non-exclusive sexual forms is by no means traditional monogamy, Traditional monogamists, one life one partner as a serious aim at least, are more and more looked at with tolerant smiles. Cute. Sweet. Not quite to be taken seriously.

The challenge is "serial" or if you like disposable monogamy. That this is by no means the "traditional" form of monogamy but a recent developement seems to be missed.

The idea that Anarchists are only interested in the direct action of the state, and have no interest in cultural and social developements seems to be a narrow one. For example, if a polyamorist has to lie about their lifestyle in order to avoid ostracism then it seems to me that is of interest to Anarchists.

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i'm afraid i have no interest in what people do in their bedrooms,

That'd make you pretty unusual, revol68, and also make it hard to understand why you bought into this discussion in the first place.

And if you'd ever heard a child crying for her father that she wasn't allowed to see then you might have a better grasp of the importance of the subject.

i'm unusual because i don't give a fucking what consenting strangers get up to in their bedrooms? I mean maybe, I suppouse on some level i find it interesting to know thugarist likes to get down and dirty as Yogi but on a political level it really doesn't do anything for me.

And if you'd ever heard a child crying for her father that she wasn't allowed to see then you might have a better grasp of the importance of the subject.