Should I give up my day job?

From the upcoming 'Little Libertarian Communist Book of Toilet Poetry'

MY TOILET SONG

As I sit here upon this bog,

Trying to squeeze out a log,

I scream and squeal, I push and shove,

And then repeat all the above,

But still it will just not come out,

No matter how I groan and shout,

My arse is lodged so full of shit,

That nothing will get rid of it,

And so I sit here all day long,

Please listen while I sing my song.....

copyright magnifico 2006. all rights reserved. May be reproduced in full or in part by permission of the author and for not-for-profit purposes only

Hi

That depends on what your dayjob is.

Love

LR

Could be worse then?

you're nearly as good as benjamin zephaniah

HI

Yes. It could be worse, but it doesn't really give me good vibes. It makes me think of poets pooing. Not a winner.

Love

LR

Support your local poet.

Shall we have a LibCom poetry festival?

I dunno, most of the stuff I've seen so far doesn't reflect too well on the creativity of our comrades.

The once was a young commie poet

who needed a forum to show it

he went on libcom

to show he's the bomb

now there's no one here who don't know it

I love doggerel.

notice the streetwise use of poor grammar in the last line, the slang in the third, people's poet or what!

I'm clearly less creative than you genii, but I'll have a go too:

I like to provoke thought in a senseless abyss,

I like to promote disorder in a timeless kiss.

I had a friend who died for none of the above,

I have a friend who burned because he rose as a dove.

I like to watch the trees scream their indecisions,

I like to watch the sun and moon switch positions.

I have a feeling I am going to regret.

I had a dream I'm not going to forget.

I like to stand on a motionless carousel,

I like to swim in the featureless parallel.

I had a feeling I'm likely to forget,

That I had a dream I'm willing to regret.

Wow innumerate as well. You're so working class.

keepin it real homes

keepin it real

"The human condition" by the now legendary ks

There was a old man from Devon

Who got run over and went up to heaven

He said to st. Pete:

"Well I lived on my feet,

but I never could count to eleven."

you can't tell he's got an english literature degree can you?

Wow symbolist poetry, you guys are really sophisticated.

I don't think I have the confidence to enter now.

time for the cake let's call the king

jollities in the hall at nine

everyone will be there on time

come eat the sow and peacock

and rest that crumhorn to thy mouth

how about the neo-Baroque poetry scene...

yeah 8)

I had a look for an online rhyming dictionary. Perhaps these could be of use.....

http://www.rhymezone.com/r/rhyme.cgi?Word=cock&typeofrhyme=perfect&org1=syl&org2=l

"colorado four o'clock" is my favourite

There was a wee lad called John

Whose behaviour was clearly not on

He spunked on Jack's pillow

Made him weep like a willow

Can't think of a last line..... Any ideas??

'til the taste was all gone?

Wasn't it Revol68 that did it?

edit: good poem, probably the best so far.

It was Revol, have I just outed his real name? Heck, there's loads of Johns around, he won't get killed by the Man in the night. Hopefully.

naw. hes safe. The Mans not first in the queue.

Hi

You are kidding! Revol spunked on Jack's pillow? Fucking ace!

LibCom Lemon Party!

LR

Yeah, Jack flinched at the last minute, or so I gather.

I love that rhyme site! It found "people's republic of China" as a rhyme for vagina.

why in the name of hell has Jacks baseless claims against me been taken up as a major talking/rhyming point whilst him actually leaving his dirty dildos lying around the computer desk is forgotten.

Stop your whining, pillow-spunk boy.

Iambic pentameters, as well. 8)

Hi

I don't see anything wrong in Jack's dirty dildo antics (how did they get so dirty? do you have a chrome one?, they polish up a treat) or Revol's spunky "mishap".

I tell you, you've got to move fast to get out of the way of oncoming jizz.

"Love"

LR

yes Jack I spunked on yer pillow

funny these claims were not made at the time.

Honestly Jack this is how Holocaust deniers start.

it's the cream one that haunts me, YUCK!

i really don't understand how my spunk could end up on yer pillow.

Fuck the things you never imagined typing!