So it's come to this.

So it's come to this.

Clinton's supporters are embarrassing themselves by describing her as a "progressive"

Barring any unforeseen developments the 2016 presidential race will feature a candidate who has spent their entire life waging an unrelenting war on the world's poorest and most oppressed peoples, and Donald Trump, a deranged psychopath who seems to be transplanted straight from the pages of a David Foster Wallace story.

"But wait a minute", says the kind hearted reader, "Hillary Clinton hasn't waged any wars (except for that Iraq one...and that Libyan one). Even Elizabeth Warren says Hillary's a progressive!

Why, who can forget Hillary's progressive roots as a senior lawyer in the Rose Law Firm representing Wal-Mart and Tysons Foods throughout the 1980s. This was followed by 6 years as a member of the Wal-Mart board of directors where she never said a word about the company's mistreatment of its "associates" and workers in its "sweatshops". At a 1990 stockholder's meeting she proudly announced, "as a shareholder and director of our company, I'm always proud of Wal-Mart and what we do, and the way we do it better than anyone else."

Soon after cutting her progressive teeth at Wal-Mart, Clinton moved on to support other progressive causes like the ones that her husband Bill was pushing for as president. In 1994, she was lobbying congress to pass the Violent Crime Control and Law Enforcement Act, an Act so progressive that it, "created dozens of new federal capital crimes, mandated life sentences for some three-time offenders, and authorized more than $16 billion for state prison grants and the expansion of police forces." By 2001 the Act proved so progressive that according to Human Rights Watch the US had
the highest incarceration rates in the world! Human Rights Watch also reported that, "in seven states, African Americans constituted 80 to 90 percent of all drug offenders sent to prison, even though they were no more likely than whites to use or sell illegal drugs."

Ever the progressive champion of the little guy, Hillary was simultaneously working hard to make it easier for companies to outsource their factories to Mexico via the North American Free Trade Agreement (NAFTA) which she lobbied strongly for. More than 682,000 US jobs were progressively outsourced to Mexico thanks to NAFTA. NAFTA was so progressive it also destroyed the lives of more than2 million Mexican farmers who could not compete on the "free market" against US agribusiness which is freely subsidised by the US government.

Ohohoho but the progressive train is just getting started. Why we can look no further than Hillary Clinton's dear friend and progressive companion Madeleine Albright. After UNICEF released its estimate that Bill Clinton's sanctions regime on Iraq was responsible for the deaths of more than 500,000 children., Secretary of State Albright was asked on national television, "is the price worth it?" To which she replied, "we think the price is worth it." Hillary Clinton, that scion of women's rights, had Albright introduce her at a rally in February where Albright told the crowd "there is a special place in hell for women who don't help each other." One can only assume that Albright was referring to herself and Hillary.

Low on time here so let me just fast forward to today where Clinton is more progressive than ever! Between 2013 and 2015 Clinton progressively made $3 million in 12 speeches given to wall street banks. She also "racked up almost $275,000 in contributions from Capital Council the lobbyist for the private prison organization Geo group."

Only the most cynical disgusting filthy #berniebro would point out that Clinton's new stances opposing private prisons and talking tough on Wall Street have magically manifested themselves during a presidential race which has seen her lose considerable ground to a comparative nobody who wasn't even a registered democrat prior to 2015.

But really is this race any different from the ones that came before it? Four years ago the American people were given the "choice" between the status quo incarnate (Barack Obama) and Count Dracula.

There are choices other than the sham of elections. We need to take direct action to reclaim power. We need to mobilize outside of the political parties to defend out rights. Today protesters in Chicago shut down the roads outside the city's Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) headquarters. Last year residents in the town of Ferguson, Missouri rioted over not just the tragic killing of Freddie Gray, but also over the state's daily practices of extortion and brutality. We should all support mobilization outside of the political parties in 2016.

Posted By

Mar 4 2016 19:49


  • "Don't blame me I voted for Kodos".

    Homer Simpson

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Mar 4 2016 19:43

there is an error whenever I try to upload a picture it says The file in the Image field was unable to be uploaded.

Mar 5 2016 16:24

This is a breath of fresh air, delightful to read smile More of this would be greatly appreciated - and spread.

Mar 5 2016 16:34

Beautifully said - with just the right amount of appropriate bile. I agree, worth spreading.

Chilli Sauce
Mar 6 2016 16:54
Soapy wrote:
there is an error whenever I try to upload a picture it says The file in the Image field was unable to be uploaded.

Glad that one was fixed. Good choice.

Jun 11 2016 20:37

I like the bile. I do not like this sentence from the final paragraph:

We need to mobilize outside of the political parties to defend out rights.

What rights may they be then? It's all wrong.