Who kicks the most ass?

31% (14 votes)
33% (15 votes)
Mexican Bandits
36% (16 votes)
Total votes: 45

Posted By

Feb 18 2004 16:28


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Feb 18 2004 16:28

So, new boards, new people, will there be a different result?

I'm sure the enrager old-skool know what I'm talking about - who is best? Who has Real Ultimate Power (TM)



or Mexican muthafuckin bandits?

Vote now in the poll above, and argue your case below...

(of course we know anarchist youth are best really but that'd spoil the poll - where *is* that website now? Jack?)

Jacques Roux
Feb 18 2004 16:47

Thats a pirate innit!

Feb 18 2004 18:29

Fuck yeah - ninjas ( black bloc ) suck ass.

Feb 18 2004 20:56

I'm totally sold on the whole pirate thing.

They drink rum, party, bury treasure and sail the high seas!

yo ho ho and bottle o' brass monkey!

Not to mention they that play a key role in classic 80's film the Goonies!!!

I would at this point insert a nifty pirate smilie, but I can't... roll eyes

Feb 18 2004 21:01

AND!!!!! Leone films star Spanish bandits!!!! hahahahahaha you lose!!!!!

Ninjas completely suck (don't tell them I said that though) cuz they are the military wing of the Japanese Empire!!!!

Hence! Pirates kick the MOST ass!!!!! grin

however that whole Ninja theory goes out the window with the introduction of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles... but I get the feeling no one is counting them

Feb 18 2004 21:24

black bloc <----This guy knows more moves than swiss army knife

Feb 19 2004 05:20

Don't forget that the pirates also robbed the robbers.

Feb 19 2004 06:55

see im going to be clever

im going to choose all 3

capitalism? together we can crack it

wink grin

though i pity the fool who thinks anything could beat this one Mr. T

Feb 19 2004 11:34

Does anyone have the website url for that ninja site. It made me laugh till i puked. And then laugh some more.



Feb 19 2004 11:58

fuck that website - I mean the Anarchist Youth - Real Ultimate Power site.

black bloc

Feb 19 2004 13:01

its obviously pirates. They had like cool little co-ops going on, and used to liberate slaves....

and they had very sexy flags

Feb 19 2004 14:36
Jack wrote:
If Sergio Leone had ever made a film about ninjas, it would have been the best thing ever, tho.

indeed. it would probably go something like: clint eastwood (a lone ninja) walks into an isolated town somewhere in japan. he flips out and kills everyone while smoking a cheroot through his mask. and leaves. that would be awesome.

Feb 19 2004 14:43

was listening to brujeria this morning (fuck knows why) so I voted bandits.

Feb 19 2004 16:01

Definitley pirates, for all the good Rum soaked reasons as mentioned plus they chose to hang out in the Carribean. Wise move. Plus ninjas being Japanese would only have been short, not really that scary, just put your hand on their head and hold them at arms length.

Pirates, Goonies, genius. wink

Feb 19 2004 16:42

aw man that is so awesome Mr. T black bloc

Feb 19 2004 17:12

no way I can't believe that ninjas are the bottom of the list here man.

ninjas are easily twice as cool as pirates and about seven times cooler than mexican bandits.

both pirates and mexican bandits are smelly, flea bitten piss stained alchoholic perverts who pray on the weak and vulnerable while living short brutish lives charecterized by hardship, abuse and disease.

Ninjas on the other hand are smooth, dashing demi gods who laugh in the face of both death and the laws of physics and exhibit an inspirational calmness and oneness of spirit as they masterfully execute their plans.

While the pirate and bandit are busy defiling children and tending to their putrid skin conditions, the ninja is reading the tao te ching perfectly poised on the peak of an ancient mountain, his stillness disturbed only by momentary bursts of action as he catches small flying insects with chopsticks Mr Muyagi style. He is a picture of deadly grace.

Feb 19 2004 19:59

Now if that isn't the ultimate testimonial to the greatness of pirates, I don't know what is!!!

Fuck this life, man, I'm hitting the high seas, It's sooo a pirates life for me grin

Jacques Roux
Feb 19 2004 21:47
Jack wrote:



Thats the shit... we should realyl direct anarchistyouth.net there wink

But whats with the JayZ midi you loser?

Rob Ray
Feb 20 2004 16:24

Hell anyone who can climb sheer walls, throw morning stars without lopping off a finger and dislocate their shoulders to get out of tight corners, all while being dressed up like an egyptian mummie, has my vote.

Ninjas kick ass grin

Feb 20 2004 17:58

look it's simple

Mexican bandidos:

social class/position: peasant stock, but lumpen proletariat in a capitalist context (6/10)

revolutionary potential: Emiliano Zapata was a mexican bandit. nuff said. (10/10)

ideals: freedom for peasants of course, and they hated those land grabbing americanoes. on the other hand they probly weren't too progressive towards women (5/10)

gear: ponchos, sombreros, bandoliers. (9/10)

drink: tequila (8/10)

music: epic morricone style pieces (10/10)

Total score: 48 out of 60


social class/position: same as mexican bandits (6/10)

revolutionary potential: renowned polish pirate Maurycy Beniowski took part in peasant uprising before setting off to plough the main, but pirates generally lived to much outside of society to be revolutionaries. (6/10)

ideals: generally anti-authority, but only for their own ends. however, there were prominant female pirates such as mary reed and anne bonny. they also allowed liberated slaves to join their crews as eqauls (7/10).

gear: tricorn hats, bandanas, stripey vests (7/10)

drink: rum (8/10)

music: sea shanties (9/10)

Total score: 43 out of 60


social class/position: feudal assassins (2/10)

revolutionary potential: almost none. nine times out of ten these would be the ones defending the emperor from the rampaging peasants. (1/10)

ideals: loyalty, honour, self-sacrifice, that sort of thing. apparently they were quite tolerant of homosexuality though (4/10)

gear: black bloc (9/10)

drink: nothing. ninjas don't drink cos of their stupid honour codes. (0/10)

music: contemplative, poetic stuff (3/10)

Total score: 19 out of 60

So, as you can see, mexican bandits win but it's a close run thing with pirates. however, both of them piss all over ninjas.

So there you go. end of debate.

Rob Ray
Feb 20 2004 19:16

Wow you really don't know alot about ninja history do you eek




social class/position: Persecuted minority of mountain living peasants who learned to kick ass so they could defend themselves (8/10)

revolutionary potential: They were the single most effective force in Japan for wiping out the various ruthless Dojin/shugun wannabes who came up against them. Plus they invented guerrilla warfare (9/10)

ideals: Do whatever it takes to get the job done, and preferably get paid. There was alot of religious crap though. (7/10)

gear: black bloc (9/10)

drink: Who gives a fuck? They can punch a guy so hard his heart comes out of his back. (10/10)

music: Fair point, Japanese music sucks. But then again, see above.

Feb 20 2004 20:43

rum is much better than tequila

Feb 20 2004 21:08

according to that 2nd site, Saii


In 794-1192 A.D. the new civilization flourished and with it, a new class of wealthy, privileged families. These families fought with one another in attempts to make or destroy emperors. The need for spies, informants and now assassins grew as these families dueled for power. They were suspicious and jealous of one another and would resort to any means necessary to eliminate any possible threats. Therefore, the practitioners of nonuse were in great demand. With this, the ninja was born.

feudal lackeys, through and through

HOWEVER to tip the balance a little i have added a new category- weaponry.

mexican bandidos:

weaponry: pistols. while they were, of course, crack shots there wasn't much variation. also they shot them in the air a lot, which is a bit wasteful. (5/10)


weaponry: the cutlass was the pirates weapon of choice, backed up by primitive flintlock pistols. and of course cannons for fighting other ships. a good selection, but nothing really special. (7/10)


weaponry: now this is one area where ninjas really ruled. throwing stars, nunchukas, garottes, stiletto daggers... (10/10)

the new totals are

mexican bandidos - 53 out of 70

pirates - 50 out of 70

ninjas - 29 out of 70

coming soon- my evaluation of gangsters and kung fu monks

Feb 21 2004 03:34

Aw man but kung fu monks are pretty fuckin sweet though - I saw them on TV doing this show where they just whacked each other in the bollocks with giant planks of wood and didn't even blink.

drink: Who gives a fuck? They can punch a guy so hard his heart comes out of his back. (10/10)

grin grin black bloc

Redyred: I think you're well in the running for post of the year (hmmm we should definitely have that competition)

Feb 21 2004 11:57

< black bloc

Feb 21 2004 12:30

find me a bandit one - i'll put it on.

we can get rid of the stupid green+black star twisted red n black star


Feb 21 2004 12:49

a mexican bandit

Feb 21 2004 16:18

that's not a mexican bandit, thats a preacher with square eyes and half a balaclava. where's the sombrero? where's the big moustache?

Coconut man
Feb 21 2004 17:12

In a fight ninjas would probably win, but I still voted for mexican bandits because I like their hats.

Feb 21 2004 22:42

Lets be honest here...

Ninjas are equipped with nifty swords that they can swing about at warp speed and remove parts of your body without you even knowing. ouch!

Pirates have CANNONS!!!!!!! they hurt and kill everything!!!!

Pirates risk life and limp fighting the seven seas, sharks, ignoring the Sirens call, nickin the riches of the Spanish Empire (amoung others), and get hooks, peg legs and parrots!!!!

when have ninjas and Mexican Bandits been known to carry pets unless they were using them in battle? i.e. exploiting them?!?!?!?!

And where would we be without the Pirates and Peter Pan? we'd all be old!!! fuck that, gimme a ticking croc anyold day!

Even today Phillipino Pirtates are cool, stealing from freight ships, yachts, and dealing drugs.

What are your Mexican Bandits doing? helping the oppressive Mexican/US Governments!!!!

Again you lose!!!!! Mr. T