Call your Local Exterminator

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The Pigeon's picture
The Pigeon
Joined: 16-06-15
Mar 19 2017 20:19
Call your Local Exterminator

Ma'am, it appears you have rats. That's right, rats. You tell me that you haven't seen any yet, but there's an ugly, lingering smell coming from inside your house, and you only hope that what you know is true isn't, but it is ma'am, and you've got rats.
The White House has had this problem longer than you've thought. Since the days of Industrialism this slave-built estate has been plumbed with a increasingly infested labyrinth of sewage and rats. But the shrewd politics as you call it have kept the tidal waves of putrid waste at bay, until now.
The first exposed - but not apparent - Rat in the White House has been revealed and the sewage is not slowly, but unmanageably leaking out, in this fetid ship of Misadministration.
It takes no keen intellect to realize the ratty undertones of the Trump administation, what with its Russian backdoor ties and fecal manipulation of reality- but the Rat is still not open for all to see. The Rat is still working underneath the floorboards as it were.
Fortunately, it doesn't take much to spot a rat. The problem is cutting the problem at its roots- liberals are inclined to, naturally, call their local exterminator and have them deal with it. But don't they know yet that the exterminators make a living off of these rats?
So what to do? Wage biological war with these vermin?
I would say not. Even a rat has an ecological purpose to serve. The real problem with rats is how they came here in the first place. What kind of manure they're feeding off of to maintain their vile existence. We need to be wary of the plague, but not let our latent hypochondria go to our heads. There is a matter of immediate sanitation, but also a more conscientious investment in rebalancing our disrupted ecosystem- not that old ecosystem built on plantations and Indian graves, but the one before that, the quiet hills and gentle mountains and vast plains of Old America, when beasts roamed free and the people could still dream.

Sebastian Gorka's a nazi