10 tenets for temping

10 tenets for temping

Some rules of temp work according to an ungrateful worker.

1. Work as slowly as possible. This establishes a norm, which allows you to set the pace, not them.

2. Come in a little late, leave a little early, take long (or multiple) lunches.

3. Don't work at all when possible, but always look busy. Develop a repertoire of tricks for looking 'busy' while actually doing nothing.

4. Pilfer as much as possible – look for new ways to create your own business. Suggestions: office supplies, photocopying, faxing.

5. Find out if you can make long distance phone calls and faxes on the company account, then milk it for all its worth.

6. If your bosses are assholes, begin a carefully planned sabotage program, taking extreme care to cover yourself. Leave 'time-bombs' if possible, after you leave the assignment.

7. Deny knowledge of any job skills other than the basics; advanced abilities lead to more difficult assignments at no extra pay.

8. Use the workplace to do all personal business: call friends, write letters, read books and magazines, etc.

9. Play mind games with yourself to stay sane (e.g. 'I'm a spy who has infiltrated 'their' operation and 'they' must not find me out.') This will protect your mental health in mind deadening assignments, Remember: Your are better than them.

10. Play dumb. It works.

TEMP X

TEMP X is obviously an intelligent worker. He covers the main themes of getting by on a temp job – sabotage, theft, slacking off, playing dumb and using your brainpower to outwit the bosses. Remember, the only power you have as a temp is the power of your own imagination.
Thank you TEMP X!

Reproduced from Best of Temp Slave!

Comments

bastarx
Jul 20 2015 14:04

Tenets not tenants.

Quote:
Tenet
/ˈtɛnɪt,ˈtiːnɛt/
noun
plural noun: tenets
a principle or belief, especially one of the main principles of a religion or philosophy