E07.6: Putting the Sex Back Into "Sexy Academic"

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Submitted by Qwoke on June 30, 2019

Question 6 on Episode 7 of Anarcho Agony Aunts

‘’Hi, I love your guys channel!
I'm going to try to hyper simplify my question for the sake of not sending you guys an essay. I'm a cis het woman (I guess) in a long term relationship with a cis het guy. As the years have gone by it's become more apparent that we differ in terms of our needs for and expression of affection and intimacy. Emotionally for me I really need and love to give and receive affection and intimacy but he has far less of a need for that. We're still very much in love and he's happy to accept the affection I give but makes less of an effort to do so himself. He's a very dedicated/serious intellectual type who is always worried he's wasting time if he's not reading 8+hrs a day or working on a project which I love and admire about him but it often makes him very emotionally unavailable. For example I compliment how he looks all the time, he tells me I'm pretty etc. like maybe 3 times a year. We have sex like once a month at the most, good foreplay has become rare. And he hardly says or does sweet things for me or pumps me up anymore. Etc. Etc. It just makes me feel sad and a bit taken for granted as a romantic partner. I've spoken to him about this several times but he always seems to slip back into this. Have you guys dealt with similar situations?’’

The show was recorded in front of a live audience on 17/6/2019 as part of AntiUniversity 2019 in London, UK

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Anarcho Agony Aunts is a sex and dating advice show, covered from a feminist, antifascist, anarchist perspective.

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