E04.1: Should You Stay Celibate If You Have Mental Health Issues?

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Submitted by Qwoke on June 30, 2019

Question 1 on Episode 4 of Anarcho Agony Aunts

TWO questions, happened to be fairly similar so we tackled them together:

''What are the things you think a person needs to sort out for or about themselves before they can be in a healthy relationship?''


''If you have mental health issues that mean dating you will involve a lot of emotional labour for your partner should you date or should you stay celibate (at least until you have all of your issues fixed)? If you want to date how do you be open about your issues as early as possible without scaring away any potential partners?
I'm coming from the point of view of a cishet male anarcho-feminist that doesn't want to seduce another anarcho-babe into a relationship that involves a fuck ton of unpaid, heartbreaking emotional labour.
I guess it kind of applies to anybody with a lot of baggage and privilege. How do you have a relationship when you know that your baggage will likely hurt your partner without it being an exploitive/toxic/patriarchal? If we can't be healthy should we be celibate? When is the right time to bring up your issues when dating? I don't want to wave my big red flags too early but always want to be open and honest with partners and make sure any consent they give is true informed consent.
How do I make like Beyonce and be crazy in love?''

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Anarcho Agony Aunts is a sex and dating advice show, covered from a feminist, antifascist, anarchist perspective.

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