E07.1: What To Say Instead of "CAN WE BANG"?

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Submitted by Qwoke on June 30, 2019

Question 1 on Episode 7 of Anarcho Agony Aunts

‘’Didn't see your live show the other night so apologies if it was covered then, but... I notice in some of your answers you kind of lean a lot on nonverbal cues/signals, "just being able to tell" if someone's into you and so on. I think one area that could use a bit more exploring is how cognitive biases play into this - both positive (people seeing and hearing what they want to see and hear) and negative ("no way could they possibly be into me, they're so out of my league!" etc). Or indeed both of those things going on to some extent at the same time. Like, how can we be certain that we're not reading someone's "I think this person is interesting and I'd like to be friends with them" signals, or indeed their "I have no interest in you whatsoever but I'm very polite and/or scared of rejecting them openly" signals, as something more than they are, without just openly coming out and saying "HELLO I WANT TO BANG YOU IS THIS FEELING MUTUAL?" Somewhat relatedly, tips on shy4shy dating would be welcome.’’

The show was recorded in front of a live audience on 17/6/2019 as part of AntiUniversity 2019 in London, UK

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Anarcho Agony Aunts is a sex and dating advice show, covered from a feminist, antifascist, anarchist perspective.

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