Funniest thing you read today

speaking of objects making music ...

[youtube]wwOipTXvNNo[/youtube]

Ted Cruz - master of disguise.

Meanwhile, in America...

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-39217525

Former MP George Galloway has signed a deal to write a series of children's books.

He made the announcement on Twitter, saying they would be about an "ethical pirate".

Goblins (Alex Jones Remix)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9kAEoCHANYY
[youtube]9kAEoCHANYY[/youtube]

[youtube]Mh4f9AYRCZY[/youtube]

Craftwork

Ted Cruz - master of disguise.

colin mochrie should never be compared to the appalling cruz.

" />

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British Library WiFi.

I don't know why you can see the img tags :-/

According to Turkish media, police in the Netherlands ("Holland") threw an atom bomb at Turkish protesters...

https://workersspatula.wordpress.com/2017/03/11/news-in-brief-march-11th-2017/

BRIGHTON, ENGLAND – Local teenage Marxist Frank Hobbes has elected to join the SPGB, making him the first young person to join the party in decades.

nothing to do with politics.

THERE were tense scenes at today’s weigh-in for Conor McGregor’s upcoming first child, as the spirited foetus squared up to the doctor performing his ultrasound, reportedly telling him to ‘get that fuckin’ thing out of my face’.

...

Swimming in amniotic fluid with the same swagger and attitude as Conor, the utero-weight champion went on a rant that would make his dad proud, stating in no uncertain terms that he wasn’t here to be poked and prodded at by ‘some prick who couldn’t make it as a real doctor’..

http://waterfordwhispersnews.com/2017/02/20/mcgregors-baby-in-heated-stand-off-during-ultrasound/

Drunk Alex Jones
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=11ODY-E-S7g
[youtube]11ODY-E-S7g[/youtube]

pic.twitter.com/iL1kiO3anA— Soft Baubi :3c (@Aubimed) March 23, 2017

https://video.vice.com/alps/video/alex-jones-scream-master/58cb1210e467a7553fe50e89?latest_videos=1

https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/ecosexuals-believe-having-sex-with-the-earth-could-save-it?utm_source=vicefbanz&utm_campaign=global

Info Derps

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=63EOeQ_H_Eo
[youtube]63EOeQ_H_Eo[/youtube]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xVUyQC7AE0Q
[youtube]xVUyQC7AE0Q[/youtube]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yar_WHZIaHs
[youtube]yar_WHZIaHs[/youtube]

http://newsthump.com/2017/03/29/nigel-farage-to-spend-article-50-day-bending-bananas-in-tesco/

http://newsthump.com/2017/03/29/civilisation-just-a-phase-confirm-experts/

http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/politics/politics-headlines/arseholed-nick-clegg-screams-filth-at-a-pigeon-20170329125103

Soviet police memo to determine a Soviet citizen's national origin.
Top: Russian, Ukrainian, Tatar, Jew, Gypsy, Kyrgyz
Middle: Belorussian, Lithuanian, Georgian, Armenian, Kazakh, Uzbek
Bottom: Latvian, Estonian, Azerbaijani, Moldavian, Tajik, Turkmen

Hastings man confused about 11th century governance.
https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2017/mar/29/brexit-battle-hastings-norman-conquest-article-50

Joy proudly tells of how his family goes back all the way to Hastings in the 11th century. “The concept of being governed by an unelected body would have been absolutely abhorrent to anyone in those days. It’s almost like the state has been lost. It was like another takeover, we relinquished our law and power to an unelected body,” he says .

Someone should gently break it to Mr Joy, 68, that hereditary monarchy was not exactly a mandate from the masses.

1977: Pol Pot's second in command Brother Number Roo announces a campaign of violence aimed at educated youth. Over 20 million would die pic.twitter.com/te1JeDU2Lc

— sadbukharin (@sadladbukharin) March 26, 2017

1968 the height of Communist China's cult of Moe pic.twitter.com/T1Sq1ZsVQk

— sadbukharin (@sadladbukharin) March 26, 2017

http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/business/wetherspoons-impossible-to-boycott-20170331125239

Fleur

Hastings man confused about 11th century governance.
https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2017/mar/29/brexit-battle-hastings-norman-conquest-article-50

Joy proudly tells of how his family goes back all the way to Hastings in the 11th century. “The concept of being governed by an unelected body would have been absolutely abhorrent to anyone in those days. It’s almost like the state has been lost. It was like another takeover, we relinquished our law and power to an unelected body,” he says .

Someone should gently break it to Mr Joy, 68, that hereditary monarchy was not exactly a mandate from the masses.

To be fair though, the pre-norman kings weren't strictly hereditary but had to be ratified by the Witan council. The last Saxon king Harold was actually elected. None of this stops that bloke from Hastings being a tad deluded, mind you.

British teacher locked-up in China forced to watch Nicolas Cage films.

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/british-teacher-locked-up-china-10131819

Craftwork

British teacher locked-up in China forced to watch Nicolas Cage films.

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/british-teacher-locked-up-china-10131819

"He has no immediate plans to return to China".

At first I was like, no, that's gonna be too dark but the article is indeed quite funny.

not really funny: https://twitter.com/georgegalloway/status/846693002571644928

from George the Cat:

"I'll fight for a Peoples Brexit, an end to "free movement of labour" from the EU. British jobs with Commonwealth preference in immigration."

Chimpanzee throws faeces at old woman.

the IRA's statement after failing to have assassinated Margaret Thatcher has become a twee inspirational quote on the internet, what a world pic.twitter.com/uEEPiIOAYd

— Seán (@seanboneill) 4 April 2017

https://youtu.be/odCBml5TuNI

I regret to inform you that Louise is at it again.
https://twitter.com/LouiseMensch/status/851044052044845056

For those without the twitters and I don't know how to embed tweets -

That's because you, Russia, funded riots in Ferguson. See 0 hour I have your connections to Trump archived via Schiller and Scavino

Translation: Louise Mensch has slipped entirely down the Trump is an agent of Russia conspiracy rabbithole, (Dan Scavino is his social media manager, Keith Schiller is his bodyguard, head of security,) the Ferguson riots was funded by Russia, BLM being orchestrated Russia.

Louise Mensch, weirdly fascinating. I'm wondering if it might be worthwhile to read her novels, she certainly has a fevered imagination.

Reddebrek

BREAKING: Revolutionary, head of #Bolshevik party @VLenin_1917 has left his exile in Zurich, en route to #Petrograd #1917LIVE #LeninTracker pic.twitter.com/t1kMxNvFid— Russian Telegraph (@RT_1917) April 9, 2017

that graphic is hilarious.
good twitter, have bookmarked.

Fleur

I regret to inform you that Louise is at it again.

:D

http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/politics/politics-headlines/edl-quietly-goes-back-to-being-a-carp-fishing-syndicate-20170410125738

Man Hit By Train
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SukTBSJJ4KM
[youtube]SukTBSJJ4KM[/youtube]

https://www.theguardian.com/business/2017/apr/11/judges-reject-us-bankers-claim-to-be-randy-work-genius-in-divorce-case

Daily Mail boycotted by University Challenge winners

https://politicalscrapbook.net/2017/04/daily-mail-boycotted-by-university-challenge-winners/

https://www.theguardian.com/business/2017/apr/12/burger-king-ok-google-commercial

Edit, not that funny.

This article is a couple of years old but someone showed it to me today and it really made me laugh-
Books That Literally All White Men Own.
http://the-toast.net/2015/05/12/books-that-literally-all-white-men-own/

Putting aside The Master and Margarita, I, Claudius and The Grapes of Wrath, it seems to be the most comprehensive list of overrated dude lit I've ever seen.

TBH, I think that there are other books on that list that should be put aside (although I'm saying that as a white dude). Still made me laugh though.

completely anglocentric

Union-backed police versus congressional police in Brazil over austerity measures. I didn't even know police unions were a thing...

http://www.smh.com.au/world/brazil-police-storm-congress-over-pension-reform-20170419-gvnjso.html

Maoist Rebel News Jason Unrhue in a fight.

http://newsthump.com/2017/04/18/theresa-may-hands-uk-another-opportunity-to-highlight-how-stupid-it-is/

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2017/apr/19/venezuela-donation-donald-trump-inauguration?CMP=fb_us

A Venezuelan state-owned oil company, heavily indebted to the Russian oil giant Rosneft, made a $500,000 donation to Donald Trump’s inauguration festivities, it has emerged.

http://newsthump.com/2017/04/22/horror-of-general-election-finally-becomes-apparent-after-michael-gove-appears-on-tv/

Fleur

This article is a couple of years old but someone showed it to me today and it really made me laugh-
Books That Literally All White Men Own.
http://the-toast.net/2015/05/12/books-that-literally-all-white-men-own/

Putting aside The Master and Margarita, I, Claudius and The Grapes of Wrath, it seems to be the most comprehensive list of overrated dude lit I've ever seen.

Damn, the first two of those I started reading and gave up on.
I've read about fifteen and own another three or so, but there are some good books on there that don't deserve to be lumped in with Tucker Max.

https://mobile.twitter.com/MundialMag/status/853565587246772224

"screamo" ?

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=libcom

found at https://www.facebook.com/TheWorkersBomb/

https://www.theguardian.com/artanddesign/2017/apr/27/tate-asks-staff-to-pitch-in-to-buy-boat-for-departing-chief-nicholas-serota

It was a hollow laugh.

Freedom scooped the Graun on it and had better quotes :P

https://freedomnews.org.uk/zero-hours-tate-staff-amazed-as-theyre-asked-to-stump-up-for-bosss-new-boat/

http://newsthump.com/2017/04/28/being-poor-is-like-the-fyre-festival-but-all-the-time-rich-people-told/

Man admirably and comically nonchalant as fuck with gun pointed at him.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2xdtZ-ZksDc
[youtube]2xdtZ-ZksDc[/youtube]

Bloomberg, 53, has long been an outspoken advocate for school de-segregation — sometimes drawing the ire of Department of Education supervisors.

But Bloomberg’s latest advocacy — complaints against the DOE for alleged racial discrimination toward students — has prompted a retaliatory investigation and possible removal, she claims.

...

An investigator met with Assistant Principal Carla Laban, and allegedly said the inquiry was related to “communist activities taking place at the school,” court papers claim.

http://www.nydailynews.com/new-york/education/principal-segregation-protest-probed-communist-guise-article-1.3116075

That is even funnier when I remember that one of their authors got caught plagiarizing an Iraq war memoir for their pulp SF about death metal covers fighting each other.

Kids in London(?) de-arrest their friend.

Craftwork

me: And impure capitalism is the only capitalism we've ever had.

them: Well at least you don't have breadlines in capitalism, unlike in communist Russia.

me: Russia wasn't communist and there were breadlines during the Great Depression, fuckwit.

Labour will put 10,000 extra police on streets, vows Jeremy Corbyn

https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2017/may/01/labour-will-put-10000-extra-police-streets-vows-jeremy-corbyn

http://www.workersliberty.org/node/31052

Meanwhile the left should argue for Labour to emphasise the best, boldest, most radical of its existing policies and campaign for them vigorously.

http://www.pinknews.co.uk/2017/05/03/pastor-claims-public-schools-turn-kids-into-transgender-communists:/

He said: “The state has an agenda with your children… I think if you begin to see the trajectory of where things have gone and you just draw it out for the next five, six, eight years, you’re going to find this is the agenda.

The pastor continued: “The goals of the educational program for your kids in the public schools… the goals of the world for your children is that your kids be transgendered and communist by 20 years of age.”

petey

Bloomberg, 53, has long been an outspoken advocate for school de-segregation — sometimes drawing the ire of Department of Education supervisors.

But Bloomberg’s latest advocacy — complaints against the DOE for alleged racial discrimination toward students — has prompted a retaliatory investigation and possible removal, she claims.

...

An investigator met with Assistant Principal Carla Laban, and allegedly said the inquiry was related to “communist activities taking place at the school,” court papers claim.

http://www.nydailynews.com/new-york/education/principal-segregation-protest-probed-communist-guise-article-1.3116075

they're serious

https://mobile.nytimes.com/2017/05/04/nyregion/a-principal-is-accused-of-being-a-communist-rattling-a-brooklyn-school.html

http://www.wsws.org/en/articles/2017/05/02/pers-m02.html#pk_campaign=sidebar&pk_kwd=perspectives

The 2017 May Day Online Rally, held on Sunday, April 30, marks a significant development in the building of the Fourth International as the World Party of Socialist Revolution.

[youtube]unnKwvFv6Sw[/youtube]

http://reductress.com/post/quiz-is-he-into-you-just-a-friend-or-trying-to-get-you-to-join-the-democratic-socialists/

http://libcom.org/forums/north-america/mission-statement-bob-avakian-institute-16052012?page=3#new

(Not an endorsement. I just found this a hilarious piss-take on right-wing scaremongering)

I'm dying of laughter watching this. Nice one.

That is priceless. :)

I was obsessed with The Room (and Tommy Wiseau) after my first watching. Even played the flash game (which was hilarious).

This isn't funny but it is interesting information but I'm not sure where else to put this,

this is a reading list being circulated on /Pol/

https://twitter.com/frayserclick/status/864861204870606848/photo/1

http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/politics/politics-headlines/all-white-people-look-alike-to-me-says-nuttall-20170519127976

http://metro.co.uk/2017/05/22/church-of-satan-distances-itself-from-donald-trumps-evil-orb-6654036/

The Church Of Satan‏Verified account @ChurchofSatan May 21

For clarification, this is not a Satanic ritual. pic.twitter.com/CccP39fqN4

Are You A Twat? Questionaire

http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/society/are-you-a-twat-2012102446226

I'm proud to state that I scored 0

Couple who spent their 20's guzzling ecstacy ban toxic cleaning products from their home
http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/health/couple-who-spent-their-20s-guzzling-ecstasy-ban-toxic-cleaning-products-from-home-20170505127104

HowTo Wash Dishes
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yIoNBEw5OMg
[youtube]yIoNBEw5OMg[/youtube]

A racist posing with an airsoft gun posts a message for Isalmists: 'cum bom england if u dear xxx'.

He wants them to try and ejaculate all over England.

That is one of the better starter packs I've seen.

Theres really nothing funny about dead kids. Thats disgusting.

It's not making fun of 'dead kids', it's highlighting the stupidity of the patriotic nonsense that soldiers "fight for our freedom".

Craftwork

It's not making fun of 'dead kids', it's highlighting the stupidity of the patriotic nonsense that soldiers "fight for our freedom".

I still don't want to see see dead children in this thread, it's inappropriate. I'm sure when people take a look at this thread, such things are the last thing people expect to see.

War equals dead kids and not this bloodless shit we are used to being presented by the mass media in the West. Such photos should be shown more, not hidden just because we don't like to see it.

'Epic Israeli Police Tear Gas Fail'

Tear gas explodes in their van, and they can't get out.

Khawaga

War equals dead kids and not this bloodless shit we are used to being presented by the mass media in the West. Such photos should be shown more, not hidden just because we don't like to see it.

Oh, so it's serious then and not FUN? I should think so. This thread is titled Funniest Thing You Read Today- is it not?

Things can be both funny and serious; that you can't see that, well, that's up to you and your pearl necklace.

Soldier vs. tire.

I'm with Potrokin on this. It's really not appropriate in a "funniest thing you've read" thread and would only be appropriate in a "horrors of war/crimes of capitalism" type thread. Anyone who thinks such images should be shown more, particularly in a thread such as this, is a complete prick and has probably never had to bury a child of their own.

potrokin

Khawaga

War equals dead kids and not this bloodless shit we are used to being presented by the mass media in the West. Such photos should be shown more, not hidden just because we don't like to see it.

Oh, so it's serious then and not FUN? I should think so. This thread is titled Funniest Thing You Read Today- is it not?

Perhaps it would be more appropriate in a thread not entitled 'funniest thing you read.' I know of some independent news networks that show deceased people, and it shouldn't be censored in that context in my opinion (a warning would be nice though).

I don't know. It's dark humor. Maybe if you didn't find anything else humorous that day lol?

I agree with the point kinda.

The tire thing is similar but easier! Poor soldiers. Tires are vicious terrorism.

https://www.theguardian.com/money/blog/2017/jun/03/death-strikes-britain-employment-record-high

perfect pic.twitter.com/pf5z01uCT3

— sadbukharin (@sadladbukharin) June 3, 2017

Recent Facebook comments by the Great Informed British Electorate;

"I couldn't possibly vote for a Gemini."

"Proportional representations doesn't exist anymore I've been reading...as large employers have block votes? and I guess large employers will largely vote for whomever will give them the biggest tax cuts and the ability to continue having zero hour contacts etc...so my question is...is there any evidence to support this whole tacticall vote thing? ... it does mean that big business can be allocated votes depending on their size and employee numbers." (Liked by 9 people)

Red-Brown politics:

An uncanny resemblance:

http://www.hertfordshiremercury.co.uk/hertfordshire-vegan-groups-condemn-vegan-vandals-graffiti-spree/story-30390189-detail/story.html

Vegan groups from Hertfordshire have condemned the spate of graffiti carried out by a group calling itself the Vegan Vandals.

Representatives from Hertfordshire Animal Rights, Herts Vegetarians & Vegans, and Hertfordshire Chicken Save have prepared a statement insisting the vigilantes do not represent the majority of vegans.

...

http://newsthump.com/2017/06/17/roboute-guilliame-pledges-strong-and-stable-leadership-for-divided-imperium/

pigs in space or semi-posadism?

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/space-flights-travel-queens-speech-theresa-may-brexit-driverless-cars-spaceships-ports-a7798001.html

Powers planned by the Government aiming to pave the way for commercial space flights in Britain will be included in the Queen’s Speech alongside a raft of investments in transport infrastructure.

The legislation, according to Department for Transport (DfT), will allow the launch of satellites from the UK for the first time, horizontal flights to the edge of space for scientific experiments and the establishment of spaceports in regions across Britain.

Well, the shoe fits :)

http://boingboing.net/2017/06/29/florida-town-plagued-by-triple.html

Authorities in St. Petersburg, Florida, are battling an onslaught of graffiti depicting a three-buttocked arse. NBC affiliate WFLA reports that the design has appeared at least twenty times across the city. It is thought to be the calling card of a single anonymous artist, who police stress is breaking the law.

[/quote]

these weirdos: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dami_Mission

The Dami Mission (Korean: 다미선교회) was a Christian religious movement founded in South Korea by Lee Jang Rim (Korean: 이장림; Hanja: 李長林). It received worldwide attention after Lee predicted that the rapture and end of the world would occur on 28 October 1992. After the prediction failed Lee was convicted of defrauding his followers out of millions of dollars.

one in a long line

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2011_end_times_prediction

In response to the prediction, more than 830,000 registered as attending a "Post Rapture Looting" event on Facebook.

Craftwork

it's been "fixed"
> : (

(e2a i can;t see the image, it;s post 1055 above)

https://www.facebook.com/disturbing.bookclub/photos/a.1845598049053207.1073741828.1845100502436295/1911954322417579/?type=3&theater

from the Communist League of Tampa:

https://soundcloud.com/user-231078858/episode-17-j-posadas-flying-saucersand-the-socialist-future-of-mankind

This week we sit down to discuss J Posadas' "Flying saucers, the process of matter and energy, science, the revolutionary and working-class struggle, and the socialist future of mankind."

Entdinglichung

https://www.facebook.com/disturbing.bookclub/photos/a.1845598049053207.1073741828.1845100502436295/1911954322417579/?type=3&theater

:D Funny as fuck that :D

I'm cheating a little since I made this, but I laughed while doing it so it should count,

Behold Marxoz! pic.twitter.com/cFWSDtra1D

— Reddebrek

http://newsthump.com/2017/07/08/outrage-as-outrage-sparks-fresh-outrage-fuelling-new-outrage-reveals-daily-express/

That was unexpected

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QhNxWz7fP5Y
[youtube]QhNxWz7fP5Y[/youtube]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1egGhcSPW2w
[youtube]1egGhcSPW2w[/youtube]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9gg4SKo8JaU
[youtube]9gg4SKo8JaU[/youtube]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bYfpWXGF3dg
[youtube]bYfpWXGF3dg[/youtube]

Wow, that cover is really something.

Craftwork

(U2 frontman chased...)

Excellent....

http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/health/vegans-still-claiming-they-have-their-own-cheese-20170714131859

VEGANS have repeated their claim that they have their own type of cheese.

Despite being told they are demonstrably wrong, the vegans keep saying it, as if somehow that could eventually make it true.

Vegan Tom Booker said: “When I first went vegan, I was excited to tell all my non-vegan friends about how I was saving the world, and how they were all basically Nazis.

“But I was also quite sad about pizza.

“I needn’t have worried, because we have our own vegan cheese, and it tastes exactly the same as planet-destroying cow cheese, but without the aftertaste of murder. You can barely even tell that it’s made from nuts.”

He added: “We also have our own nut milk.”

Booker’s girlfriend, Emma Bradshaw, said: “It’s great that Tom’s so involved in some fucking cause. But it’s not cheese, it’s a rubbery, beige delusion.”

http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/politics/politics-headlines/may-shed-tear-that-burned-through-three-floors-and-an-intern-20170713131830

THERESA May has admitted that the ‘devastating’ election result made her shed a tear which burned through a desk, three floors and an intern.

The tear, which the prime minister said was shed ‘for Britain’, rolled down her face like a bead of liquid mercury and hit the desk with a bang and flash which blinded everybody in the room.

When the smoke cleared, party staff realised from the screams downstairs that it had burned straight through the floor and was causing chaos on the level below.

May said: “It kept slowly burning through carpet, concrete and steel without showing any diminishing of its size or effect. The ceiling tiles looked like a meteor had hit them.

“Luckily on the third floor it landed on an intern and on contact with flesh began to mutate into something new and horrifying, which gave us time to stop it.

“The tear was eventually extracted and is being kept in a secure facility at Porton Down.”

May added: “They believe my little tear could be used to create a new bioweapon which could lay waste to whole continents. Nice one.”

Authorities in LENINGRAD, Florida, are battling an onslaught of graffiti depicting a three-buttocked arse. NBC affiliate WFLA reports that the design has appeared at least twenty times across the city. It is thought to be the calling card of a single anonymous artist, who police stress is breaking the law.

Fixed.

http://newsthump.com/2017/07/17/george-a-romero-probably-dead/

Horror Director George A Romero may well be dead, but so far nobody has dared get close enough to make sure.

Romero, who created the zombie genre of films and inspired generations of writers, directors and game creators to follow in his shambling, bloodied footsteps, is understood to have stopped breathing last night but that means nothing. Nothing, you fools.

Fans and followers have been very carefully showing their respects from a safe distance; you know, just in case.

His influence over contemporary pop-culture was immense: from World War Z to The Walking Dead to the White Walkers of Game of Thrones, it is unlikely that any of these things would have happened if he hadn’t filmed a low-budget shocker in 1968 – a shocker that was far deeper than it appeared upon first sight.

That film, Night of the Living Dead, has been described as the only film ‘to truly capture what Pittsburgh is all about’.

Using horror as social commentary, he went on to cover consumerism, militarism and economics followed – inspiring in his wake creatives such as Peter Jackson, Guillermo del Toro and Stephen King.

He also inspired Eli Roth, but you can’t have everything.

Romero had a fierce satirical mind which highlighted the absurdities of modern life through the medium of taking ideas to their logical extreme and ridiculing them, but we here at NewsThump wouldn’t know anything about that.

Rest in Peace, George. Please.

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2017/jul/17/utopian-thinking-students-working-land-university-eco-conscription

What if all students spent a year working the land before university?

You have to get them out of bed first. :p
Taiwan woman divorces husband who ignored her messages

Ms Lin's husband can file an appeal after receiving the court ruling by certified mail. But it seems unlikely to happen.
According to Judge Kao, he has never showed up for a court hearing and hasn't responded to any of the court's other notices.
And unlike Line messages, the court can't even tell if he's "Read" them.

potrokin

http://newsthump.com/2017/07/17/george-a-romero-probably-dead/

Horror Director George A Romero may well be dead, but so far nobody has dared get close enough to make sure.

Romero, who created the zombie genre of films and inspired generations of writers, directors and game creators to follow in his shambling, bloodied footsteps, is understood to have stopped breathing last night but that means nothing. Nothing, you fools.

Fans and followers have been very carefully showing their respects from a safe distance; you know, just in case.

His influence over contemporary pop-culture was immense: from World War Z to The Walking Dead to the White Walkers of Game of Thrones, it is unlikely that any of these things would have happened if he hadn’t filmed a low-budget shocker in 1968 – a shocker that was far deeper than it appeared upon first sight.

That film, Night of the Living Dead, has been described as the only film ‘to truly capture what Pittsburgh is all about’.

Using horror as social commentary, he went on to cover consumerism, militarism and economics followed – inspiring in his wake creatives such as Peter Jackson, Guillermo del Toro and Stephen King.

He also inspired Eli Roth, but you can’t have everything.

Romero had a fierce satirical mind which highlighted the absurdities of modern life through the medium of taking ideas to their logical extreme and ridiculing them, but we here at NewsThump wouldn’t know anything about that.

Rest in Peace, George. Please.

hhhaaahahaha :D

found at https://www.facebook.com/jacobinmag/photos/a.208590562500986.65414.143021112391265/1820029001357126/?type=3&theater

http://weeklyworker.co.uk/worker/1164/letters/

Pleading

Every week your letters page is clogged up with tedious, long-winded guff by Steve Freeman and Gerry Downing.

Can we please have a moratorium on this until I’m dead. My son will contact you when the inevitable happens. If I have to read any more of their crap, that day will be a lot sooner. Please!

Doug Lowe
email

http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/sport/sport-headlines/men-arent-really-equipped-to-do-sport-20170724132636

QUESTIONS have been raised as to whether men’s sport should be given equal coverage to women’s sport.

Yesterday saw England’s cricketers win the women’s world cup in a thrilling finale before England’s footballers beat Spain 2-0 at the women’s European Championships, something the men’s team will never achieve without drugs.

Sport watcher Wayne Hayes said: “It’s time we admitted that men aren’t really equipped to do sport. They lack the determination, the passion, and most of all, the killer instinct that sets our sportswomen apart from the ordinary bloke on the street.

“Giving men’s sport equal coverage is a good idea in theory, but I don’t know anyone who actually enjoys watching it.”

Football fan Tom Logan added: “Watching the Lionesses, I felt enjoyment, mixed with excitement and pride. As an England supporter I’ve never experienced any of those emotions before.”

Meanwhile, a British man did achieve some sporting success at the weekend but no-one cared because all he did was ride around France on his bicycle

Stick Corbyn on an assembly line.

Bank robbers with Trump masks blow-up cash machines in Italy.

more than 40 years old but newly made available on MIA:

https://www.marxists.org/history/erol/ncm-3/ol-iran.htm

The very existence of Iran as a member of OPEC is strong indication of the progressive direction of the Shah’s regime in relation to imperialism.

Entdinglichung

http://weeklyworker.co.uk/worker/1164/letters/

Pleading

Every week your letters page is clogged up with tedious, long-winded guff by Steve Freeman and Gerry Downing.

Can we please have a moratorium on this until I’m dead. My son will contact you when the inevitable happens. If I have to read any more of their crap, that day will be a lot sooner. Please!

Doug Lowe
email

from https://tendancecoatesy.wordpress.com/2017/07/21/weekly-worker-letter-of-the-year/#comment-57694

Isn’t the whole purpose of the WW letters page to present a circus of weirdness which makes WW positions seem almost sane and rational in comparison?

Which one is official? Somebody help. pic.twitter.com/foy1pXan17

— Asher Wycoff

Isn’t the whole purpose of the WW letters page to present a circus of weirdness which makes WW positions seem almost sane and rational in comparison?

:(

Perhaps that is why they always publish my letters. Libcom is always guaranteed to deflate egos

Reddebrek

Which one is official? Somebody help. pic.twitter.com/foy1pXan17— Asher Wycoff

I'm dubious of posadistcaucus, since it's Gold Glove, not "Golden Glove".
Go with DSAposadists.
Sorted.

http://www.newstatesman.com/politics/media/2017/08/why-person-pretending-be-mp-deptford-and-greenwich

While our politicians may be known for spinning the truth, a new MP on the block is currently taking it to the next level. Ana Key (gettit?) is fooling people online by pretending to be the Socialist and TUSC (Trade Unionist and Socialist Coalition) MP for the non-existent constituency of “Deptford and Greenwich”.

...

Has hell frozen over? A Marxian economist on Fox News? I want to see Chomsky with "Fox and Friends" next.

[youtube]SB2-4F758Yo[/youtube]

http://newsthump.com/2017/08/09/men-with-two-smallest-cocks-in-the-world-escalate-international-dick-waving-contest/

Donald Trump and Kim Jong-Un have escalated their risible dick-waving contest today.

Trump, who is so insecure about the size of his dong that he has made impromptu speeches about how big it is, told reporters that he has an absolutely huge todger, far bigger than Kim’s, and a lot of people say that.

Meanwhile, Kim Jong-Un, who is so fat he hasn’t seen his own penis without a mirror in over five years, responded by dancing around shouting that he has a massive – yes massive – wang and if he got it out – which he might – then you’d be terrified.

“We must be vigilant to prevent Kim Jong-Un penetrating the US by the back door and lobbing in big ones from behind our backs,” said Trump in a speech that inadvertently said a lot more about him than his opponent.

Kim responded to Trump’s increase in pressure by threatening to whip it out at any moment, just you see if he won’t.

“I could, you know, and you’d all be amazed how big it is,” he told senior party cadres to rapturous applause.

“The only reason I don’t is because I’m a kind a generous man who doesn’t want to shame others. Yes, that’s it.”

Much of the world is ambivalent about the ongoing conflict, with many people saying that if they want to watch unlikeable twats wave their dicks at each other there’s the lead up to the Mayweather/ McGregor fight for that.

https://workersspatula.wordpress.com/2015/12/04/us-anarchists-and-liberals-celebrate-murray-bookchin-leader-of-the-kurdish-people/

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=1421771261192539&set=a.159907990712212.24575.100000790378886&type=3&theater

http://rochdaleherald.co.uk/2017/08/20/mariah-carey-records-shock-cover-of-dead-kennedys-nazi-punks-fuck-off-in-support-of-antifa/

Born again Christian pop singer and self styled “voice of the MTV generation” Mariah Carey, has sent shock waves through tin pan alley with the announcement that she has recorded a cover of the Dead Kennedy’s “Nazi Punks Fuck Off” to be released as a single and with the proceeds to be donated to US anti Fascist action group ANTIFA

All definitions of antifa on urban dictionary

" In the United States, antifa stands for anti-First Amendment. While many claim that the group is anti-fascist, their actions have focused on shouting down and in some cases physically attacking those who oppose Progressive big government.
Antifa demonstrators were seen attacking participants at a pro-Trump rally/ "

Another good one has a dialogue between 'antifascist' and 'Not a Subhuman'

http://newsinfo.inquirer.net/923896/communist-party-of-the-philippines-jose-maria-duterte-cabinet-judy-taguiwalo

Communist Party of the Philippines founder Jose Maria (Joma) Sison on Friday called on the remaining leftists in the Duterte administration not to step down from their posts despite the Commission on Appointments (CA) rejection of Social Welfare Secretary Judy Taguiwalo.

In an online interview, Sison said that if the leftist appointees resigned, they would “assume the burden of explaining why they are resigning.”

“It is better for the public to see why good public servants are being dumped by the corrupt and incompetent politicians in the Palace and Congress,” he said.

https://punx.uk/product/no-i-not-like-copy-socialist-worker-t-shirt/

http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/politics/politics-headlines/may-goes-in-for-upgrade-20170831134900

THERESA May has been returned to her Japanese manufacturers Hitachi for a full factory upgrade.

The prime minister is ostensibly in Japan for a trade deal it has confirmed it will not discuss and to pick fights with North Korea, but is actually receiving an overdue software, firmware and hardware systems reboot.

AI specialist Shinichi Matsutoya said: “I warned you that version could not win an election. It just gives you the blue screen of death.

“We’ve been patching as best we can, and thankfully she didn’t get hit in the ransomware attack because she never could network with the NHS, but she really needs a complete rebuild.

“’Brexit means Brexit’? They get stuck in a feedback loop if you change their function while you’re still running the same kernel. Surprised nobody spotted it.”

Matsutoya added: “Do try and keep her away from anything… ethical. Or she’ll just overheat again.”

http://newsthump.com/2017/08/31/theresa-may-drunkenly-announces-intention-to-fight-general-election/

The Tory party was left reeling last night after Theresa May, after spending an afternoon on the sake in Tokyo, drunkenly announced that she will lead the Tories into the next election.

Mrs May, currently in Japan to desperately plead with them not to forget us after Brexit, added that she would ‘take the f**king lot of you on’.

The Prime Minister made the claims in a shambolic BBC interview.

“Well, it was clear the PM was drunk for the moment she said she was definitely going to lead the party into the next election,” said a Tory party insider.

“I mean, obviously. Only a thoroughly inebriated person would make that claim in her position.”

However, despite making such an absurd claim, the interview only went downhill from there.

“Well, I think the catastrophic flatulence was probably the worst thing. Poor old Ben Wright looked like he was about to turn green. I had no idea that sake had such a disastrous effect on the gastric system.

“The PM then went on to state that Phillip Hammond ‘could f**k off for a start, the poncey streak of piss,’ she visibly adjusted her underwear as her ‘pants are halfway up my f**king arse’, and suggested that she could beat up Jeremy Corbyn ‘no bother’.”

The interview ended in disarray as a voice off camera could be heard shouting ‘kebab mate?’ Before the PM staggered off muttering ‘f**king mint. Better be enough hot sauce on’.

The interview is already being considered as one of her more competent performances since becoming Prime Minister.

republished texts: http://quatrieme-internationale-posadiste.org/EN/livre-32-the-tasks-for-the-left-in-the-labour-party.php

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-bristol-41167296

A woman who threw her poo out of her date's toilet window because it "would not flush" had to be rescued after she got stuck trying to retrieve it.

The amateur gymnast was on a first date with Bristol student Liam Smith when she "panicked" and threw the faeces out of the window.

It did not land in the garden, but became wedged between two non-opening windows.

After climbing in head first after it, she became wedged.

Mr Smith had to call the fire service for help.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-bristol-41167296

A woman who threw her poo out of her date's toilet window because it "would not flush" had to be rescued after she got stuck trying to retrieve it.

The amateur gymnast was on a first date with Bristol student Liam Smith when she "panicked" and threw the faeces out of the window.

It did not land in the garden, but became wedged between two non-opening windows.

After climbing in head first after it, she became wedged.

Mr Smith had to call the fire service for help.

That's hilarious and kind of reminds me of a scene from There is Something About Mary

https://mobile.twitter.com/MundialMag/status/905523577524555777

Last paragraph.

https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2017/sep/11/leadership-hopeful-warns-wrong-leader-could-turn-ukip-into-uks-nazi-party-henry-bolton

cactus9

Last paragraph.

https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2017/sep/11/leadership-hopeful-warns-wrong-leader-could-turn-ukip-into-uks-nazi-party-henry-bolton

Holy fuck- thats priceless!

https://www.facebook.com/lovechaosmagick/photos/a.1422047418081253.1073741829.1419728618313133/1949973275288662/?type=3&theater

http://newsthump.com/2017/09/15/london-tube-bomb-so-shit-not-even-isis-willing-to-claim-responsibility/

The bomb on the London Underground today was so shit that not even ISIS have claimed to be behind it.

ISIS, who are so miserably desperate they’ll claim to be responsible for tailbacks on the A14, your milk going off and Russ Abbott’s Madhouse back in the 1980s, have decided that this risible attempt is beneath even them – and that’s saying something.

“In the name of Allah, the just, the merciful, this was nothing to do with us squire,” said ISIS spokesman Shimonu Al-Qwilliams from behind a cratered wall somewhere in the last corner of Raqqa that they still control.

“You remember that time you trod in dog poo and then walked on your new carpet before you noticed? That was us. And when you got so pissed you ate a dodgy kebab and had really bad squitters in the morning? That was us too.

“But this pathetic effort? It’s too crap even for us.

“By the beard of the prophet you infidels have been warned – when we strike, the delays on the District Line will be more than the usual twenty minutes!”

https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2017/sep/18/bare-mountain-man-who-climbed-peak-in-pants-gets-hypothermia

cactus9

https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2017/sep/18/bare-mountain-man-who-climbed-peak-in-pants-gets-hypothermia

That's actually quite sad. The whole teenager does something silly to support his dying grandmother, without fully thinking through the consequences, and almost dies himself schtick isn't exactly comedy gold.

http://www.aljazeera.com/programmes/witness/2017/09/fairy-tales-fashion-misfit-china-170910090449457.html

http://newsthump.com/2017/09/21/lara-crofts-tits-should-be-bigger-insists-man-with-fantastic-priorities/

A man has reacted to a trailer for the new Tomb Raider film with a complaint regarding breasts.

Simon Williams, 31, watched the trailer for the new film in the spare room of his mum’s house, before simply saying “no” and slamming his laptop shut.

“Large knockers are key to Lara Croft’s character,” insisted Williams.

“A decent script and good action set-pieces are a distant second, I’m afraid. I should know, I’ve played all of the Tomb Raider games and large breasts of varying graphical quality were definitely the highlight.

“It’s blatant oversights like these that mean video game movies are rarely taken seriously or reviewed well. Some good bouncy action will put paid to all of that- at least for me, anyway.”

Simon’s mother said, “I’m very proud of Simon for standing up for what he believes in. I have to say that, I suppose, even if what he believes in is frivolous at best and a dreadful reflection on how I raised him.”

Film producer, Jay Cooper, said, “We welcome all feedback, apart from Martin’s, obviously, because it’s stupid.”

found at https://www.facebook.com/Being.a.Socialist/photos/pcb.1479818015405353/1479817938738694/?type=3&theater

get you a man who can do both

http://www.pinknews.co.uk/2017/05/26/bizarre-study-claims-eating-too-many-chicken-nuggets-can-turn-you-gay/

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2017/nov/01/far-right-conspiracy-theory-us-civil-war

If you are inside the “alt-right” information bubble, you might be preparing yourself for a civil war to commence this Saturday.

Since late September, the idea has been circulating on Facebook groups, subreddit message boards, Twitter, and leading conspiracy media outlets that on 4 November, anti-fascist groups will begin a violent insurrection.
Distract and dismiss: how rightwing media saw the Russia indictments
Read more

Some websites are telling their readers that antifa groups are “planning to kill every single Trump voter, Conservative and gun owner” this weekend. Hundreds of Facebook posts show how seriously consumers of such media are taking the news, and comments like “One more threat against white people and I swear to God I’m going to take a goddamn car and run over every fucking one of them” are not unrepresentative of the response.

But antifa groups have no plans to protest that day, and the small leftist groups who are planning protests have only dubious connections to the antifa movement. So what gives?

The whole thing rests on some very slender reeds, according to Spencer Sunshine, who recently wrote a report on the theories for the far right-monitoring group Political Research Associates. In the conspiracy underground on YouTube, he explains, there has been talk that “there was going to be a civil war” starting in November for some months.

Beginning in late September, three things kicked it a into higher gear. First, Refuse Fascism, a small group linked to the Revolutionary Communist party, staged a visually spectacular protest in Los Angeles. They blocked the 101 freeway and held up signs that enigmatically spelled out “Nov 4 it begins”. This is the same group that is organizing a series of protests around the country against the “Trump-Pence regime” this weekend.

Second, a video posted on a Facebook page called Vets Before Illegals went viral. The video, entitled “Antifa sets a date for civil war”, claimed that “on their website, they are calling for an open civil war that will start in November”, and set out alleged plans for attacking police officers, then citizens and the government.

Last, but by no means least, the rumor was picked up and amplified by Alex Jones, the radio star with an audience of millions. As Sunshine explains, Jones “is a kind of meta-conspiracy theorist now” who “harvests other people’s theories” and repackages them to fit his narratives and his audience.

Once Jones had mentioned it, Sunshine explains, the rumor mill exploded: “Once Jones says something, even more people pick up on it and put their own spin on it.” Jones’s website was still running the story on Wednesday morning.
An absurd turn

In recent days, the story took an absurd turn, and had its closest brush with more mainstream conservative media, when Gateway Pundit, a longtime conservative blog that has recently expanded into news coverage, published a story by its White House correspondent, Lucian Wintrich, claiming that an “antifa leader” had promised to “behead white parents” on 4 November.

The tweet the story was based on, however, was a joke from an account that had no apparent ties to any antifa groups.

In a telephone interview, Wintrich conceded that the tweet his reporting was based on was not serious, and that it was unlikely that there would be a revolution on Saturday. But he did not back away from the story, presenting it as a critique of leftist rhetoric.

“The radical left is always making jokes about killing white people. What would happen if I made a joke about killing all black parents? That would be a national headline.

“If it’s appropriate for them to demonize [conservatives] over quite innocent jokes, why would we just roll over when they make inappropriate jokes? What’s good for the goose is good for the gander.”

The piece included a detailed account of antifa ideology, which included the claim that the activists “are larpers (‘live action role-play’) attempting to find someone/thing to sexually interact with”.

When asked what sources he drew on in reporting on their ideology, Wintrich said: “I did go to school at Bard College. I received my education around people who I’m sure are on terrorist watchlists as socialist or communist extremists.”

As Sunshine says, Refuse Fascism activists have been supportive of antifa groups in the past, and often show up to the same demonstrations, but there is “no formal connection” between them and antifa. They are also small, he says, and their protest is explicitly nonviolent and specifically directed against the administration, not rightwing activists or police.

Mark Bray, historian and author of Antifa: The Antifascist Handbook, agrees. “Prior to 2017, the far right didn’t really know what antifa was,” he says, adding that the focus on these groups has a number of causes. It is an extension of the demonization of anarchists in general, but it is also a way to smear mainstream liberals who have no links to antifascist groups.

And to some extent, this particular panic has succeeded in energizing a particular slice of the right. As Sunshine puts it: “It motivates the base, it’s part of the apocalyptic narrative they use – there’s always a dangerous event just over the horizon.” Also, he says: “It’s a call for vigilante activity. There are currently tons of threats against leftwing activists.”

And unless there is a confrontation as a result of rightwing counter-protesters turning out to shut down the “revolution”, it’s all likely to come to nothing.

“There is no revolution or civil war planned for 4 November,” says Bray. “You can quote me on that.”

https://redyouth.org/2017/07/22/why-do-marxist-leninists-support-some-non-socialist-governments/

http://www.brasilwire.com/if-uk-media-wrote-about-the-uk-like-it-does-latin-america/

“I am afraid I might turn into a bourgeois,” worried the writer Aleksandr Serafimovich (Apt. 82) to a friend. “In order to resist such a transformation, I have been spitting into all the corners and onto the floor, blowing my nose, and lying in bed with my shoes on and hair uncombed. It seems to be helping.”

http://www.nybooks.com/articles/2017/11/23/bolshevisms-new-believers/

https://www.facebook.com/675045492617890/photos/a.721543354634770.1073741830.675045492617890/1374106832711749/?type=3&theater

Craftwork: This is a true masterpiece.

did only read a few lines: https://socialistfight.com/2017/10/27/david-broder-the-renegade-from-trotskyism-has-become-a-stalinist/

https://www.vice.com/en_ca/article/kzgq4z/watch-this-conservative-politician-read-an-anti-weed-poem-in-parliament?utm_campaign=Global&utm_source=vicefbca

http://www.spartacist.org/english/wv/1124/vaping.html

Ленин был шестиметровым рыбоящером (Lenin was a six-meter-long marine reptile):

https://elementy.ru/kartinka_dnya/491/Lenin_byl_shestimetrovym_ryboyashcherom

https://tendancecoatesy.wordpress.com/2017/12/30/leftist-trivia-quiz-2017/

http://southendnewsnetwork.com/web/far-right-commentator-milo-yiannopoulos-just-fell-for-a-fake-southend-news-network-story-live-on-air/

The ex-senior editor of Breitbart News and self-described ‘cultural libertarian’ Milo Yiannopoulos has just used his live YouTube channel to read out an entire Southend News Network story to his thousands of followers and report it as fact.

...

As per usual there were a number of clues in the story to indicate that it might be total and utter bollocks, including:

Turkish Academics Say Biblical Noah Made A Call With A Cell Phone Before The Flood
https://www.modernghana.com/news/827343/turkish-academics-say-biblical-noah-made-a-call-with-a-cell.html

Marking exam papers in which students decide to write about the effects of globalisation even though they don't know what they are, they have a very sketchy, at best, knowledge of what globalisation is and that wasn't what they were actually supposed to do.
More of a bitter chuckle, they could at least make funny mistakes!

http://www.catholicherald.co.uk/news/2018/02/06/china-is-the-best-implementer-of-catholic-social-doctrine-says-vatican-bishop/

“Right now, those who are best implementing the social doctrine of the Church are the Chinese,” a senior Vatican official has said.

Bishop Marcelo Sánchez Sorondo, chancellor of the Pontifical Academy of Social Sciences, praised the Communist state as “extraordinary”, saying: “You do not have shantytowns, you do not have drugs, young people do not take drugs”. Instead, there is a “positive national conscience”.

The bishop told the Spanish-language edition of Vatican Insider that in China “the economy does not dominate politics, as happens in the United States, something Americans themselves would say.”

Bishop Sánchez Sorondo said that China was implementing Pope Francis’s encyclical Laudato Si’ better than many other countries and praised it for defending Paris Climate Accord. “In that, it is assuming a moral leadership that others have abandoned”, he added.

Having Google Translate read "Straight Outta Compton" in a British accent is quite amusing.

Some New Zealand news channel does an alarmist story on "Leftbook": https://www.facebook.com/sevensharp/videos/10156334921167268/

found at https://www.facebook.com/angrypeopleinlocalnewspapers/photos/a.924162277628776.1073741829.922716137773390/1875724389139222/?type=3&theater&ifg=1 ... is THE OUTLAW back?

Gets me every time.

[youtube]l9gZJ7MGjOI[/youtube]

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=l9gZJ7MGjOI

https://pattayaone.news/en/10-million-baht-porsche-fire/amp/

Is it me or does this guy look like Orwell?

[youtube]UKygju476tM[/youtube]

Neopalpa donaldtrumpi

https://www.gnu.org/software/emacs/manual/html_mono/woman.html

WoMan does not replace man, although it does use a number of the facilities implemented in the Emacs man library. WoMan and man can happily co-exist, which is very useful for comparison and debugging purposes.

A story in two acts pic.twitter.com/pq00vapsSj

— Reddebrek

Probably not in the spirit of the thread but I thought this short story from George Bernard Shaw from 1905 was funny:

Link: Death of an Old Revolutionary Hero by George Bernard Shaw

But as I scanned it in, I guess I would say that.

10-Year-Old Steals Parents' Car, Tells Cops He's a 'Dwarf'

Kind of old but still funny;

Another Cop Accidentally Shoots Himself Instead of the Dog He was Trying to Kill

https://athousandflowers.net/2018/03/08/how-weekly-wanker-became-a-global-brand/

Craftwork

Hmm, I don't feel comfortable owning the same chair as them. Anyway, I knew Alex Jones would be calling Trump a NWO shill, or something to that effect, eventually. Oh and I love the "emergency 34 hour broadcast" bit.

The ending of this video made me chuckle.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HeJmbamnhH8

probably not funny at all:

http://posadiststoday.com/syria-reconquers-sovereignty/

As for what is happening in the capitalist countries of the Western world today, each struggle in defence of our already-acquired social gains stands in direct confrontation with global capital. There is an objective united front in the world: it is between the struggle of the working class and masses in the capitalist countries, and the courageous anti-imperialist alliance China-Russia-Iran-Syria. In our capitalist countries – particularly in the United States and Europe – the organisations of the left are facing the need to integrate and reinforce this [objectively] united anti-imperialist front.

from http://www.icl-fi.org/english/wv/1132/china.html

... the Chinese economy operates in a way that is fundamentally different from capitalism.

https://twitter.com/LaborwaveCCCP/status/988148750119038982

Fuck these pieces of shit for improving the material conditions of hundreds of millions of people. Youre only a REAL revolutionary if your revolution fails, so you can romanticize it, Like The Paris Commune and Catalonia

radicalgraffiti

https://twitter.com/LaborwaveCCCP/status/988148750119038982

Fuck these pieces of shit for improving the material conditions of hundreds of millions of people. Youre only a REAL revolutionary if your revolution fails, so you can romanticize it, Like The Paris Commune and Catalonia

Bono is missing

Entdinglichung

https://athousandflowers.net/2018/03/08/how-weekly-wanker-became-a-global-brand/

There was an article on 90s ‘Lager Lass’ TV show ‘The Girly Show’ called ‘Wanker of the Week’. It was pretty optimal!

https://youtu.be/kSAaQgPwSa4

https://www.lrb.co.uk/blog/2018/04/27/danny-dorling/our-museum-future/

alternative comedy

Inspired by China, Britain’s communists dream of revolution for social and political change (South China Morning Post)

I don't know if people have seen much about what US Maoists have been up to these past few weeks, but some of it has been... interesting. Here's a sample:

A comrade once noted that Saint Louis has the potential to be the storm center of anti-revisionism, and we have taken that to heart. We oppose revisionists and fake “revolutionary” organizations that ignore class interests and eschew Communist politics for liberal feel good activism. We oppose those who support working with gentrifiers under the auspices of cleaning up the community. Phony organisations like For The People-STL, Maoist in name only, that insist on building a United front with these class collaborators are revisionists of the highest caliber and will be struggled against relentlessly.

May Day, since its inception, has been drenched in the blood of our martyrs and should be treated as a celebration of uncompromising resistance against the ruling class. Cookouts are not an act of rebellion against the bourgeoisie...

Surrounded by a sea of leftists from various reformist and revisionist organizations at a May Day BBQ largely isolated from the masses, two Community Power Network affiliates confronted serial revisionist and attempted wrecker of the national Maoist Movement, Hei Hongbing (now going by Christopher Winston publicly) on his snitch and pig work, local attempts at wreckerism, and phony Maoism.

While no physical harm was done to anybody, cries from the left of “assault!” And pleas that May Day is about peace and unity further reinforce the necessity of stomping out revisionism and the many ways is rears its anti-people head at every turn. Not an inch will be given to the service of the ruling class, whether consciously or not.

From their promotion of electoral politics and working with gentrifiers, to the failure of a Maoist organization to apply the mass line by encouraging store clerks to call the cops on drug dealers instead of offering solutions, the struggle against revisionism will be a long and protracted one. However, with the spirit of revolutionary optimism, the reclamation of revolutionary violence and the masses behind us, we can defeat revisionism amongst the left and successfully aid in the construction of the Party.

The one about how to apply the mass line when struggling with someone who's being postmodern by being late to things was pretty memorable as well.

https://www.change.org/p/michael-hancock-rename-denver-co-after-enver-hoxha

Rename the city of Denver, Colorado after the late former Marxist-Leninist leader of Albania, Enver Hoxha. We also demand that the underground bunker at 'Denver' Airport is brought under workers' control.

#EnverNotDenver #MakeDenverEnverAgain #DropTheD

https://www.independent.ie/irish-news/abortion-referendum/brothers-who-moved-to-ireland-to-live-in-a-country-without-abortion-claim-referendum-was-rigged-36949437.html

Two young American men, whose family moved from Washington State about a decade ago because they wanted to live in a country without abortion, have expressed their deep sadness at the emphatic yes vote.

Patrick Lauser (24) and his brother Josiah (19) who live near Cork Airport hail from a family of eight.

Patrick, who is now an Irish citizen, said he was shocked by the election result which he insisted was "rigged."

Entdinglichung

https://www.independent.ie/irish-news/abortion-referendum/brothers-who-moved-to-ireland-to-live-in-a-country-without-abortion-claim-referendum-was-rigged-36949437.html

Clearly a horse-drawn cart is missing from the photo.

https://www.rt.com/op-ed/428134-royal-wedding-uk-zizek/

Progressives who are inclined to lash out at the monarchy and have fired their vitriol at the new Duke and Duchess of Sussex may be missing the point.

Leftist critics were right about Britain’s recent royal wedding, but for the wrong reason. They conceded how Meghan Markle is a sympathetic figure - a feminist and a mixed-race woman - but they opposed the form of monarchy that was celebrated (if we ignore a few complaints about taxpayers’ money being spent).

What these critics failed to perceive is the emancipatory dimension of this form itself, of the big public ritual which socially links a community. To explain this point, we should go back to Novalis, the key figure of German Romanticism, who is usually perceived as a representative of the conservative turn of Romanticism, but his position is much more paradoxical.

https://news.vice.com/en_us/article/vbq38d/google-is-listing-nazism-as-the-first-ideology-of-the-california-republican-party?utm

A Korean academy looking for an english paper/essay editor requests applicants' pics.
'Why would they want to know you look like?'
'White females from America in their early twenties have better handwriting duh'

https://www.fort-russ.com/2018/07/anti-stalinism-is-left-wing-racism-part-1/

WTF will be in part 2? I can't wait!

didn't read it but..

My 3 year old: Dad... what is the form of capital?
Me: Huh!!? Ehh, well capital is the...
My 3 year old: No Dad. What is the FORM of capital.
Me: Eeh! Well the form is
My 3 year old: NO! THE FORM!!! WHAT IS THE FORM DAD! THE FORM!!!
Me: gives up and cries

The backstory is that one of the few songs 90% of the swedish population can sing along to goes on about how "state and capital are in the same boat together but they arent the ones rowing" it has lots of verses and describes various aspects of capitalism. We listened to both the original from early seventies and the punk cover (more famous) from 1980 during a long car trip. Why he was on about the form was a bit of a mystery however.

70's
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sTAvm_Fk09M
[youtube]sTAvm_Fk09M[/youtube]

80's punk
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mDoi6prDOcE
[youtube]mDoi6prDOcE[/youtube]

Crappy translation of the shorter punk version found on da interwebz:

The State and Capital
Capital raises the rents,
and the state the housing allowance
So one can cheat a little crumb
with the iron wage law
And pay even less in wages
than the price for food and rent
Because the state runs better,
if the cost of living goes
even higher

Side by side, they help each other out
The state and capital sit in the same boat
But they aren’t the one’s rowing
Rowing so the sweat is dripping
And the whip that tickles, doesn’t tickle
their fat necks either

The charge of the schools is as it should
to teach the working class
If the brooms are going to clean properly
you can’t neglect the handle
Barriers and quotas and standardized tests,
it’s a system made to separate
The wheat from the chaff and move everyone
to their rightful home

Yes, side by side, together they push forward
The state and capital, two wolves in sheep's clothing
But they aren’t the one’s rowing
Rowing so the sweat is dripping
And the whip that tickles, doesn’t tickle
their fat necks either

Side by side, they help each other out
The state and capital sit in the same boat
But they aren’t the one’s rowing
Rowing so the sweat is dripping
And the whip that tickles, doesn’t tickle
their fat necks either

The tempo is raised by machines,
here we drill the elite
Production doesn’t have a place for the one
who has become threadbare
But so that no one thinks there is anything wrong
with the heavy piecework
He is put on disability and taken care of by the compassionate unemployment office

Yes, side by side, together they push forward
The state and capital, two wolves in sheep's clothing
But they aren’t the one’s rowing
Rowing so the sweat is dripping
And the whip that tickles, doesn’t tickle
their fat necks either

Side by side... Aaah aah aaaah!

Sadly you can find the equivalent of Tory youth singing along to it at their parties.

Cooked

one of the few songs 90% of the swedish population can sing along to goes on about how "state and capital are in the same boat together but they arent the ones rowing"

...

Sadly you can find the equivalent of Tory youth singing along to it at their parties.

I quite like it. How do the lyrics sound when you understand Swedish, compared to the english translation? "The day-to-day expansion rate is regulated by the business cycle, Then the woman is assigned to her place in the economic structure" is the sort of song only a left communist would write, with their usual eye for style. I remember someone posting up the songs Guy Debord and that lot wrote which i also thought sounded alright, but someone said that if you speak French it sounds a bit naff. Wondered if this was the case here too, or if the lyrics are catchier in Swedish.

Also, how did it happen that most people can sing it, is it the Swedish Tubthumping? Why do tory youth types sing it?

Uncreative

I quite like it. How do the lyrics sound when you understand Swedish, compared to the english translation? "The day-to-day expansion rate is regulated by the business cycle, Then the woman is assigned to her place in the economic structure" is the sort of song only a left communist would write, with their usual eye for style.

Hehe well the swedish lyrics work very well which I think is part of the reason even
Uncreative

tory youth types sing it?

That translation I quoted is not very elegant to say the least... Some songs have reached a status in sweden that's hard to compare with how it works in the UK. From my 12 years living there I never saw any evidence that songs reach that level in the UK. Could be just not getting it as an 'outsider' or the relative tiny population here. Or that swedes are obsessed with summer and some songs that get associated with it become long term massive.

There's an english wikipedia page for the band who wrote the song in the 70s.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bl%C3%A5_T%C3%A5get

https://mises.org/power-market/trumps-road-socialism

In spite of the President’s claim that tariffs are “the greatest,” and trade wars are “easy to win,” the economic backlash was easy to foresee. In fact, as the political success Bernie Sanders and Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez have brought “democratic socialism” into the mainstream of the Democratic Party, Trump’s economic nationalism threatens to pave a road to the same destination.

We ourselves represent the interests of the working class

said here - http://libcom.org/forums/theory/labours-anti-semitism-scandal-conclusive-proof-reformists-will-never-be-allowed-an?page=1#comment-608479 - by a guy who advotes voting in elections and who believes in political parties. A bad joke, and not particularly funny, but it's early yet and I haven't read all that much so far.

https://www.texasmonthly.com/politics/alex-joness-attorneys-defamation-suit-argue-no-reasonable-person-believe-says/

“There can simply be no statement of fact when Mr. Jones views a video of Anderson Cooper and provides his commentary and opinion with regard to possibilities as to why Mr. Cooper’s nose disappeared on the video, all the while directing the viewers’ attention to the very video about which he opined,” a motion to dismiss the suit filed by Jones’s attorney argues. “No reasonable reader or listener would interpret Mr. Jones’ statements regarding the possibility of a ‘blue-screen’ being used as a verifiably false statement of fact, and even if it is verifiable as false, the entire context in which it was made discloses that the statements are mere opinions ‘masquerading as a fact.'”

That may be the best argument available to Jones in defending the suit, but it also puts him once more in a position where his lawyers are arguing in court that the things he says during his broadcasts aren’t true—and, in fact, that any “reasonable reader or listener” would conclude that Jones, when he makes statements like “the green screen isn’t set right,” isn’t speaking factually. If Jones isn’t to be taken seriously when making statements like that, though, it becomes harder to understand what, exactly, Infowars is supposed to be informing its audience of.

Cooked

Some songs have reached a status in sweden that's hard to compare with how it works in the UK. From my 12 years living there I never saw any evidence that songs reach that level in the UK. Could be just not getting it as an 'outsider' or the relative tiny population here. Or that swedes are obsessed with summer and some songs that get associated with it become long term massive.

6000 years of hurt/never stopped us dreaming/the or-GAN-ic hu-MAN comm-UNITY's coming home, it's co-MING home, etc

Entdinglichung

https://www.texasmonthly.com/politics/alex-joness-attorneys-defamation-suit-argue-no-reasonable-person-believe-says/

“There can simply be no statement of fact when Mr. Jones views a video of Anderson Cooper and provides his commentary and opinion with regard to possibilities as to why Mr. Cooper’s nose disappeared on the video, all the while directing the viewers’ attention to the very video about which he opined,” a motion to dismiss the suit filed by Jones’s attorney argues. “No reasonable reader or listener would interpret Mr. Jones’ statements regarding the possibility of a ‘blue-screen’ being used as a verifiably false statement of fact, and even if it is verifiable as false, the entire context in which it was made discloses that the statements are mere opinions ‘masquerading as a fact.'”

That may be the best argument available to Jones in defending the suit, but it also puts him once more in a position where his lawyers are arguing in court that the things he says during his broadcasts aren’t true—and, in fact, that any “reasonable reader or listener” would conclude that Jones, when he makes statements like “the green screen isn’t set right,” isn’t speaking factually. If Jones isn’t to be taken seriously when making statements like that, though, it becomes harder to understand what, exactly, Infowars is supposed to be informing its audience of.

This is a version of the defence used by the ratings agencies to avoid any responsibility for the financial crash. IT doesn't seem to have done them any harm.

https://mobile.twitter.com/afneil/status/1025436508642332673

Imagine being bodied this savagely by a 95yo man.

https://www.washingtonexaminer.com/news/campaigns/green-party-spoiler-candidate-in-ohio-special-election-claims-to-be-descended-from-aliens

On his Facebook profile, Manchik said that his ancestors “originally came to planet Earth from a planet orbiting a star in the Pleiades star cluster located in the constellation of Taurus.” But that's not the only quirky thing about Manchik. Earlier this year he gave a slur-filled speech where he couldn’t remember his own website address.

http://www.lancashiretelegraph.co.uk/news/16414514.grandma-81-hits-out-at-thomas-cook-for-disaster-benidorm-holiday/

The entertainment in the hotel was all focused and catered for the Spanish. Why can’t the Spanish go somewhere else for their holidays?

Landlord launches hunger strike in protest against homeless shelter. The same charming fellow is also a copper with a history of illegal evictions, who'd have thought it?

Any suggestions for how to encourage other landlords to starve themselves in solidarity?

First I've heard about this

https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2018/aug/06/apple-removes-podcasts-infowars-alex-jones

Khawaga

WTF will be in part 2? I can't wait!

https://www.fort-russ.com/2018/08/anti-stalinism-is-left-wing-racism-part-2/

I found Stalin Trotsky on stackoverflow

Reading that Nicky Minaj hailed Thatcher as a hero whilst simultaneously comparing herself to slave liberator Harriet Tubman WTF?

Not something that I've read, but I think this is officially my favourite goal celebration of all time (apparently this is also the team that Drogba now plays at?)

Working class hero eats $9000 of deli meat.

The TUC stuns the world with its overwhelming ambition and shit-hot analysis once again:

Workers should aim for a 4-day working week by 2100, says TUC

FT

Frances O’Grady said advances in robotics and artificial intelligence should allow businesses to share the profits of greater productivity with their staff, by offering them the same level of pay for less hours.

I hereby renounce anarchy! I have found the way at last...

https://psapin.github.io/rainbowstalin.html

Be sure to scroll for full enlightenment!

https://instruggle.wordpress.com/2018/09/11/counterrevolution/

about the Sparts "intervention" in the Soviet Union in the early 90ies:

Ultimately, the ICL’s intervention could not stem the tide of counterrevolution.

Labour/Guardian framing this as equality
https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2018/sep/13/diane-abbott-to-announce-labour-plans-to-overhaul-visa-policy

Noah Fence

I hereby renounce anarchy! I have found the way at last...

https://psapin.github.io/rainbowstalin.html

Be sure to scroll for full enlightenment!

Rainbow Stalin! ❤
❤❤❤❤
This website used to have the Rainbow Stalin song to go with it, which made it even better.... I wonder what happened?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HJC_d4TO3WQ

Lucky Black Cat

Noah Fence

I hereby renounce anarchy! I have found the way at last...

https://psapin.github.io/rainbowstalin.html

Be sure to scroll for full enlightenment!

Rainbow Stalin! ❤
❤❤❤❤
This website used to have the Rainbow Stalin song to go with it, which made it even better.... I wonder what happened?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HJC_d4TO3WQ

It had the song when I opened it.

Glad it's working for others! Must be my internet browser is infected with a Trotskyist virus.

This website: https://stillnessinthestorm.com/

http://deadstate.org/pro-trump-author-john-mccain-was-secretly-executed-by-a-military-tribunal/

https://incendiarynews.com/2018/10/24/us-election-boycott-ramps-up-as-early-voting-begins/?fbclid=IwAR2Sj4KeoSFxxvsC3bxOSPOEcnFVhuCy7aKcZeOFboCmmsGvtgegiSsWzqY

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/nadie-dorries-slams-brexit-deal-leave-remain-jk-rowling-a8639216.html

Theresa May’s Brexit deal has been slammed by arch-leave MP Nadine Dorries – because it means the UK will be left without any Members of the European Parliament.

The Tory backbencher, who campaigned tirelessly to get the country out of Europe, said Ms May's deal would leave the UK without any influence in Europe.

“This is a very sad place to be,” she told Sky News. “But unfortunately, the future of the country and of our relationship with Europe is at stake. This deal gives us no voice, no votes, no MEPs, no commissioner.”

.

Entdinglichung

Khawaga

WTF will be in part 2? I can't wait!

https://www.fort-russ.com/2018/08/anti-stalinism-is-left-wing-racism-part-2/

more on the author: https://www.abc.net.au/triplej/programs/hack/honi-soit-refusing-to-take-down-article-praising-north-korea/10178668

Entdinglichung

https://incendiarynews.com/2018/10/24/us-election-boycott-ramps-up-as-early-voting-begins/?fbclid=IwAR2Sj4KeoSFxxvsC3bxOSPOEcnFVhuCy7aKcZeOFboCmmsGvtgegiSsWzqY

I hope the next twist in the story is that RGA get beat up by vegans. Also, had a look at other recent stories on their site, saw they had one about the nazi attack on an Austin anarchist bookshop, thought to myself "I bet they're going to work some weird anti-anarchist angle into this", and boy oh boy they did not disappoint:

"While the bookstore staff and its official Facebook page blame Nazis for the attack, local Democratic Socialists of America (DSA) members rushed to accuse local Maoists, hoping to create rumor and gossip, objectively serving the repressive state.

Maoists in Austin, as well as many community organizations which support them, have a longstanding organizational boycott of MWB, due to the financial backers of the bookstore issuing a ban on group study of Communist materials including V.I. Lenin’s masterpiece The State and Revolution.

According to bookstore backers, there were fears that the Maoists were using such texts to rapidly convert anarchists into revolutionaries.

“Maoist actions are politically clear and distinct,” said a local supporter of the Maoist movement. “Anyone in Austin can verify this, the use of red paint, the hammer and sickle, etc. are the symbols of Maoism. While we uphold the boycott called for by RGA, no one supports a fascist attack against the bookstore.”

“MWB’s vulnerability is what is tragic,” the source continued. “By alienating the only local forces who could physically defend them, they become easy prey to boost the confidence of fascists which objectively harms the city and its people.”

Incendiary resolutely condemns all fascist activity as well as all attempts from DSA members to carry out pig work against local revolutionaries to the benefit of the fascist perpetrators.

MonkeyWrench staff, while correcting the slander of the DSA members, failed to take any action to remove the comments of those who would criminalize the local revolutionary movement."

So, "it's shocking and disgusting that people would think we'd attack this bookstore! Admittedly, we fucking hate them because they won't let us do our Lenin reading groups there, but if we attacked them we'd have painted more hammer and sickles. Anyway, so shocked and appalled that people would suspect our wacky collective of attacking these people we hate."

https://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2018/dec/03/milo-yiannopoulos-more-than-2m-in-debt-australian-promoters-documents-show

This is impressively weird: to illustrate their decisions about how much information to redact about people spied on by spycops, the undercover policing inquiry has produced an "illustrative example of an intelligence report", which is essentially like... bad fanfic of a Trot meeting?