Knock-knock at your front door

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rat's picture
rat
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Joined: 16-10-03
Apr 26 2016 17:10
Knock-knock at your front door

How do you respond to political canvassers?

With the local elections in the UK this May and then the EU referendum in June, there will be swarms of these pests around.

What’s best way to deal with them when they come to your door?

Maybe you tell them to fuck off and slam the door in their face? Or maybe you explain to them that you’re a communist and then attempt to offer an incisive critique of capitalism, the state and the history revolutionary action? Maybe there are other options but I just can’t think of any.

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Noah Fence
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Apr 26 2016 17:48

I warn them that they really don't want to talk to me. Usually they say, yes we do. If they don't quit after another warning then I let them have it and rattle on for half an hour or more until I take pity on the poor deluded buggers.

rat's picture
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Apr 26 2016 17:54

Nice one.
When you said "I let them have it" I thought you were going to go on to say that you pulled out a revolver and shot them.

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Juan Conatz
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Apr 26 2016 18:58

When the Socialist Alternative city council candidate ran a couple years ago I told the canvassers I was a socialist who didn't believe in voting. That blew their mind. Then they just tried to sell me their paper.

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jef costello
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Apr 26 2016 19:48

I had my local MP come to the door, I politely told him "No thank you" and he started asking if I cared about the local area and tory cuts etc. He then said if I didn't vote for him I didn't care about people who'd be affected. I told him I was involved in the anti-cuts movement and I didn't see the point in voting as it never changed anything and I certainly wouldn't vote for someone who didn't care about the area and who didn't live locally. He started going on about his dead mother who lived in the area,and accused me not caring and wearing a clockwork orange t-shirt in my big house. I explained that I'd lived there all my life and gone to the local schools and been involved in the local community, unlike him. He then completely blew his top and called me a sod. At this point the local party handlers pulled him away and I called after him that I was actually unemployed and he shouldn't make assumptions.

I got an apology from the local party guy and he said that the MP would come back and apologise. IT was quite funny, shame I didn't film it, I could have made a few quid off the Daily Mail. And it was all because he insisted on talking to me, I was quite happy to send him on his way.

The Pigeon's picture
The Pigeon
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Apr 26 2016 19:56

I got a free copy of the Book of Mormon from my last knock knock. I had no idea that they believe Jesus visited the Mayans.

rat's picture
rat
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Apr 26 2016 20:16

I love asking Labour Party toadies about the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. It doesn't much questioning before they start to get very hot under the collar.

edit: I like jef costello's idea of filming the lackeys when they come. A better way of shooting them.

cactus9
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Apr 26 2016 20:42

I give then the brush off in a manner appropriate to my feelings about their party.

I do vote though, I fucking love voting. I can never remember if anarchists approve of voting or not, and if not why not.

cactus9
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Apr 26 2016 20:46

What's the communist position on voting? Is a choice of political party a bourgeois luxury too far?

Sorry smile

cactus9
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Apr 26 2016 20:53

Anyway, nobody is going to canvas me this year, I live in a house with 9 doorbells.

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Chilli Sauce
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Apr 27 2016 02:19

So, I used to live on a street that must have had super high voter turnout because we got everybody and their fucking uncle coming through.

My favorite was Labour. I'd tell them I was a socialist - they'd look happy - and then I told them that obviously meant I wanted nothing to do with the Labour Party. Then they looked confused.

The Lib Dems were pretty fun, too. They came around talking about a recycling tax or some shit and the only thing I'd talk about was tuition fees. The frustration on their faces was a wonder to behold.

As for the Tories, a kindly "fuck off" and a slammed door always seemed to do the trick.

cactus9
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Apr 28 2016 18:02

Never mind about canvassers, why are UKIP getting so many party election broadcast slots? I'm getting sick of my regular 7pm dose of racism.

wojtek
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Apr 28 2016 21:58

My local ukip candidate is second generation Polish lol.

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Ed
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Apr 28 2016 23:11
wojtek wrote:
My local ukip candidate is second generation Polish lol.

Recently heard Pegida's (and ex-EDL) Tommy Robinson saying how the Poles are alright coz they'd turn out just like him, second-generation Irish, assimilating into British culture.. thinly veiled (no pun intended) subtext behind all that 'Islam isn't a race' shit..

wojtek
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May 18 2016 03:50

Well like Brits, the majority don't care about solidarity. Have you seen Britain First's Polish video lol.

How nationalist is the country right now btw? The Vice video is some next level stuff...