A cheap holiday - Syndicalist Workers Federation

A CHEAP HOLIDAY

In Spain we are able to provide cheap holidays, where you, the tourists, have value for your money, good cheap food and fine hotels which provide good service at prices you can afford—altogether splendid value.

How do we do this? We keep the cost of living low, by preventing strikes that would put up wages. Our absence of strikes makes your holiday cheap.

However, some malicious people try to alter this situation—and spoil your holidays. You will be glad to hear that we have ways to solve this. One is by garrotting the trouble-makers.

Garrotting is a method of humane execution, in which the victim is strapped to a post and slowly strangled by a metal collar, tightened manually from behind. Objections to this procedure are absurd—the entire operation need take, as in the case of the so-called "anti-fascists" Granado and Delgado in 1963, only half-an-hour.

Other methods we have successfully used to discourage strikes include shaving the heads of wives of those who have the impertinence to demand higher wages, as recently with the Asturian miners. We also castrated some of the husbands.

You will also be glad to know that we have modernised the mediaeval instruments of torture used by our forefathers of the Spanish Inquisition. We find electric shocks applied to the body's most tender and private parts particularly effective.

And any risk of your encountering unpleasantness on your cheap holiday is prevented by our prison system, where we keep opponents of our political regime, such as Stuart Christie and Fernando Carballo, for 20 and 30 years. We have modelled it closely on those of our beloved and deeply lamented friends, Adolf Hitler and Benito Mussolini.

So do not hesitate to book your holiday in Sunny Spain, where the cost of living—for tourists—is cheap and human life even cheaper.

PRINTED AND PUBLISHED ON BEHALF OF SPANISH TOURISM BY
SYNDICALIST WORKERS FEDERATION, 34 CUMBERLAND RD., E.17