Trotskyist stories

The Diary of a Trotskyist

Feb. 7th

Picked up The Communist Manifesto today from a book peddlar. Going to read it tonight when I return from classes. I hope that it is as good as the peddlar made it out to be. Otherwise it's going in the trash.

Feb. 8th

Read the Manifesto. Stayed up late in order to finish it. Total drivel. Going to throw it away as I speak. Absolute trash. Wish I hadn't wasted time reading it instead of getting sleep. Classes in the morning.

Feb. 11th

Politics professor spouted the most outrageous nonsense today. His partiality for the bourgeois class is thinly disguised by his gushing outpourings over the flimsy facade of 'democracy'. What he fails miserably to understand is that this democracy is breaking the bones of the proletariat under its foot as we speak. The sentimental drivel of a senile old man is not going to feed the starving mouths of the oppressed. If this goes on for very long I'm going to drop out of his class.

Feb. 12th

Took another look into the Manifesto earlier today. On second thought it's not entirely bad. I'll have to look into it further to tell you if it's worth reading again. This Marx might have something half-decent up his sleeve. He might even come in handy in class.

Feb. 15th

Went to class today. You'll never guess who made the most preposterous, unfounded claims. I had to write an impassioned response in the library during my lunch hour. And when I read it back to myself, I thought Marx would have something similar to say about the true workings of this bourgeois society- not some pathetic apologetics. I located a copy of the Manifesto and flipped through the pages. Just as I expected. It agreed with everything I had just written. I didn't even deliver it to the professor's desk, it wasn't worth my time- he's no more than a stooge. I'm going to have to drop his propaganda class.

Feb. 23rd

Had the most outstanding interaction in my life earlier today. You'll never guess what happened. This was one of my greatest victories over an agent of social control ever. I stayed up all night writing the last condemnation of my ideologue professor before dropping his propaganda session for good. Even picked up a book to support my argument. Imperialism, the Highest Stage of Capitalism, by V.I. Lenin. Got it for cheap the night before. Read it as I wrote. It was my most fiery attack upon the depravity of the bourgeois order and its stinking stoolpigeons á la my decadent professor- ever. Didn't get a wink all night. Had to drink pitchers of coffee. I drank another cup before I marched off to campus with Imperialism under my arm. Well, you can only imagine what I thought about him when I sat right in front of him in class. I made sure to get in the front seat. He began his “lecture” and I let him ease into an unsuspecting mood. But right as he started in on another one of his sermons, I made my move against the charlatan. I shouted down his bourgeois complicity, and called him a capitalist stooge. You can imagine how frightened he was. I threw down my finalized declamation of him and strode triumphantly out the door. But before doing so I made sure to throw his propaganda manual (Introduction to Modern “Politics”) right into the trash in front of all my captivated peers. I made quite the stir. Went down to a Chinese restauraunt afterwards to have some food and ended up vomiting. Will have to read more Lenin. Need to sleep.

Mar. 16th

Haven't written in a long while. Been busy studying. Added some very interesting finds to my collection. Looking forward to reading all of them.

Mar. 24th

Got another job as a wage slave- I mean, sales clerk, at a shop full of useless commodities, to support my studies. Have been reading up on the march of historical materialism and the triumph of international communism, and have had to stay up late in order to get the reading done. Got sick and missed class for a week but have more important things to worry about. I am currently studying The German Ideology and hoping that by tonight I will have a full analysis of the workings of history. Should be an invigorating study.

Mar. 30th

The degradation the capitalist system subjects the worker to is the most despicable and advanced form of servitude devised. I plan to make this known to my boss at the sales shop. Little does he know that he is a petty managerial pawn in the towering hierarchy of Capital; he only knows how to serve his parasitical masters. Won't be able to form a union because the other workers I suspect are deluded reactionaries- they would scab on me as soon as the picket lines were drawn out. Have to take the lead and inspire the workers on my own. I'll take a page from the Bolshevik Revolution: highly disciplined, tightly knit Cadres as the vanguard of the masses. Other than that nothing new. Haven't been keeping up with classes.

Apr. 3rd

Took my day off work today to go to work. But think again, since you've got me all wrong: I went to work in order to strike. You can only imagine. Had the whole store in total shock. They couldn't believe the boldness of my action- that is, the conscious activity of the proletariat. One of them, on her way in, asked me what I was doing, as if she wasn't the one who was treacherously scabbing on me, with my picket sign and International Workingman's chant in tow, right before my very eyes. I told her I was building the offensive for the working masses, such as her. She said something only a scab would say and I won't deign to even repeat it. Well, when the boss was at last broken in by the siege and came out and tried to negotiate a compromise, I shut him down. My demands were: 1) complete recognition of the Union, 2) double our wages from $6.50 to $13, 3) the ability to vote and elect delegates within our own soviet- i.e. a pure, proletarian-dominated, worker's council- to determine our interests and our role in the store's affairs, and 4) total and absolute amnesty for strikers. Of course sticking to his bosses' prerogatives, he refused and told me I was fired immediately. But I knew he couldn't do that even within his bourgeois-democratic legal framework: the proletariat had come to stay.

Apr. 6th

Though I've been neglecting my schoolwork, I recently discovered a student journal which I submitted some of my work to. And you won't guess what they'll be publish in their newest issue: The Struggle of One Revolutionary Against the System.That's right. I outlined my general praxis in relation to the mangerial strata at work, and issued a declaration of the proletariat's most pressing aims, with a ruthless exposé of the criminal practices which go on under the capitalist system in general. They even assured me of my guaranteed success, and a forthcoming review in the editorial section. But you'll never guess the cherry atop this day's créme. I ran into none other than my professor á la the bourgeois quack. I gave him quite the grin. He had a simpering face. I quickly notified him of my upcoming assault on his miserable paymaster's system via the student weekly. He made as if he did not understand me. I assured him that he'd soon see. And that was all there was to it; he scrambled away in an even more sheepish fashion than when I had first unveiled him.
The vanguard of the proletariat is now completely and wholly in the ascendant.

Apr. 11th

Not a good week. The vanguard of the proletariat has been forced to take the defensive. We're regrouping our positions. Broke down in the middle of the street from too much caffeine and the unconscionable duress of the capitalist system. I was fired indefinitely for harassing scabs. Woke up covered in sweat in a bus stop.

Apr. 12th

Those scoundrels...! Those baboons of the liberal intelligentsia! The editorial board of the student weekly have slandered my position and backstabbed me at the most fatal hour. They published an editorial review of my article and proceeded to mock every line of it as the featured content of their edition. Complete, depraved, and utter duplicity! They dare make a mockery of our revolutionary program in their farcical journalistic parade? From such a phillistine and so obviously middle-class and unproletarian position? Utter depravity...! I have already begun my response. Writing it out now. Those fiends. They'll witness the fiery scorn of my polemics. This is just the position Trotsky was in, only now the stakes are higher- the proletarian international is ushering capitalism towards its historical denoument. I am reading The Revolution Betrayed and the circumstances couldn't be any more familiar. I am spread between two fronts: the practical fight of the working class- my uncompromising strike at the shop- and the higher, more elevated fight for the supremacy over the minds of the masses- the war of the press. But I shall be triumphant- history assures it to be so. Other than that nothing new. Found a bag full of old Subway sandwiches. Stored them in the fridge.

Apr. 19th

Got fired from job at the library for missing too many shifts, i.e. for focusing the brunt of the attack on the most subaltern sector of the economy, i.e. the commodities sector, i.e. the sales shop.

A commodity appears, at first sight, a very trivial thing...in reality, it abounds in metaphysical subtleties and theological niceties.
Das Kapital, Karl Marx.

Ordered Trotsky's Collected Works with my last pay check. Have to drop from classes. Weighing down my revolutionary duties. Couldn't stand the smell of liberal academia anyways. It couldn't handle granting an Assistant Professor's position to an avowed revolutionary communist. Didn't want to spoil their revisionist program with sincere proletarian communism. It doesn't matter to me though. A true proletarian takes education directly to the masses. Therefore I will be turning to the tried-and-true weapon of the soapbox, in the proletarian hub of Union Square, inbetween my battles at the picket line. The proletariat are ready for change. They are at their wit's end- little more than a seething mass of flesh waiting to erupt into open insurrection against all the debauched excess of a chauvinistic bourgeois class.
Have to obtain food. Will submit a thorough critique to the library for upholding counterrevolutionary values.

Apr. 20th

Need to eat- feeling hungry. Officially thorough with attending classes. Couldn't understand what proffesors were saying. Nightmare happened on the elevator. Vomited out a day old hamburger. Someone asked if I needed an ambulance. Threatened them with my pen. Had to flee before running into several people.
The worker's don't trust me. They look at me like I am some kind of provacateur. When I treid instructing a subway full of blacks, on their natural affinity for the Communist Party,
since they can still feel the whip of the slavemasters on their backs, I was nearly torn from limb from limb in fear. Had to escape into another car and jump off on the next platform. Proceeded to vomit on the street. Got in a bus and went home and slept but not enough. Now analyzing Trotsky's theory of the Soviet ruling class. Want to sleep but can't, have to understand Capitalist ruling class - have to understand the political economy of ruling class . Vomited in class. Will see about Next month for over two month's worth of rent due to capitalist. Making glasses work faster for reading on the Soviet's method of understanding ruling class before revisionists attack.

Apr. 21st

Nothing like a nice shower to give your mind a quick shot of intellect. Going to Union Square to speak to the masses.
Will find food on the way over. The struggle is in the masses.

Apr. 22nd

Yesterday couldn't have been more triumphant. Not only did I enter into contact with more than several workers, one female comrade, patiently listening, even admired my speaking skills. However, her politics aren't in order at all. Said Lenin was too boring and heavy-handed. Said she couldn't finish reading him. When asked who she did like to read, she said what I immediately feared: Emma Goldman. But even though the female comrade held on to romantic petty-bourgeois anarchist individuists, she listened to my speech and she was very interesting. Have to learn more about the Woman Question. Trotsky had experience in this matter. I will impress this female comrade when she sees me speaking again. If only I would have told her about my strike against the working class. She had a very comradely appearance. Would really enjoy working with her in the same strike. Good to know there are some interesting comrades in the working class...

Apr. 23rd

Somehow Trotsky doesn't stimulate me anymore. Can't seem to think. Can't even bother to go look for food. Decided to go to the library and write out an economical treatise- a little project I've devised- but instead just wandered around aimlessly looking at sky feeling petty bourgeois.

Apr. 25th

I've discovered what's wrong with me. I've succumbed to petty bourgeois romanticism. My thoughts ceaselessly turn to the image of that comrade. She is wrenching at my heart; I have no capability to go on writing and concentrating on my studies; I want to ask her to go to rallies with me, and discuss the physics of the oncoming capitalist collapse; I want to... but I can't, I simply can't...! It is not the duty of a revolutionary! Pure and untiring will! Two lovesick turtle doves are a perfect ornament atop a capitalist tree. My heart lies elsewhere: the completion of a spectacular treatise which will usher in a new apex of revolutionary consciousness and shed light upon the historical task of the working classes- the sublime beauty of some comrade whose politics are at best sentimental, who even though has a ready mind and a willing heart, and the grace of a thousand vanguards marching into the uncertain horizon of the future, beckoning me in my deepest lovelorn bosom to leap, leap, leap into her arms and embrace her and love her and run away with her and never look back and never stop until we have reached each other in our profoundest hearts- can never... never... can only be a... petty bourgeois... love... love... heart full of feelings... such love... I... I love -