Jokes

How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulbs own internal contradictions will inevitably lead to revolution.

Post your jokes here! They don't have to be anti-capitalist in-jokes but if they are they get a bonus point.

Stalin was giving a speech in

Stalin was giving a speech in front of about 100 Communist Party members. Suddenly right at the apex of it, an extremely loud sneeze was heard from the audience.

Stalin stopped speaking and glared into the audience. "Who sneezed?!!" he demanded. The audience was silent. Stalin then mumbled something to one of the bodyguard's next to him and pointed to a random person in the audience. The guard lifted his gun and shot that audience member right in the head.

"Who sneezed?!!" Stalin demanded again. And again he was met with silence. This time Stalin only nodded at his bodyguard before pointing to another audience member. But the guard understood his instructions. He raised his gun and shot this random person in the head.

"Who sneezed?!!" Stalin demanded, louder than ever. There was a pause, but at last a man lifted his trembling hand. He was terrified but he could not bare the guilt of more innocent lives lost. "Comrade Stalin, it was me," he confessed.

"Bless you, comrade," said Stalin. Then he carried on with his speech.

seahorse wrote: Stalin was

seahorse

Stalin was giving a speech in front of about 100 Communist Party members. Suddenly right at the apex of it, an extremely loud sneeze was heard from the audience.

Stalin stopped speaking and glared into the audience. "Who sneezed?!!" he demanded. The audience was silent. Stalin then mumbled something to one of the bodyguard's next to him and pointed to a random person in the audience. The guard lifted his gun and shot that audience member right in the head.

"Who sneezed?!!" Stalin demanded again. And again he was met with silence. This time Stalin only nodded at his bodyguard before pointing to another audience member. But the guard understood his instructions. He raised his gun and shot this random person in the head.

"Who sneezed?!!" Stalin demanded, louder than ever. There was a pause, but at last a man lifted his trembling hand. He was terrified but he could not bare the guilt of more innocent lives lost. "Comrade Stalin, it was me," he confessed.

"Bless you, comrade," said Stalin. Then he carried on with his speech.

That is a quality joke. Did you make it up yourself my oceon dwelling comrade?

Nah, it's all over the

Nah, it's all over the internet. Actually I told it a bit wrong. It's supposed to be that an entire row is executed each time. Harsh!

http://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/3i5d4a/stalin_and_the_sneezer/

Ah, well here's one of my own

Ah, well here's one of my own that I posted on another thread;

A Libcommer is locked in a room with Mussolini, Franco and a liberal. She has a gun but only 2 bullets. What does she do?

Shoots the liberal twice to make sure he's good and dead.

Nah, it's all over the internet. Actually I told it a bit wrong. It's supposed to be that an entire row is executed each time. Harsh!

http://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/3i5d4a/stalin_and_the_sneezer/

You also missed that he's giving a speech on good manners! ☺️

Authored on

September 13, 2016

Jokes

Stalin was giving a speech in

seahorse wrote: Stalin was

Nah, it's all over the

Ah, well here's one of my own

Fuck, my girlfriend just came

previous jokes on

seahorse wrote: Nah, it's all