Self help books

The self-help books as a genre really took off in the 80s and early 90s. There's a few (perhaps many) academic papers that connect the self-help movement to the rise of neo-liberalism. A lot of it is eastern spiritualism married to "becoming successful" (i.e. get rich and powerful), which means that the spiritual and the stuff that is all about making you a better person towards others is usually taken out.

Having said that, in the past I did read a few meditation books and tried out some of the methods; I did find it helpful in certain situations (like flying; I have an irrational fear of flying and doing some meditation before going up in the skies alleviated my fear somewhat). So I wouldn't completely poo-poo such books. But in the end nothing beats "self-help" like going to therapy or just being able to communicate your issues to your SO, family and close friends.

I can only offer this http://www.succeedsocially.com/ I think its pretty sound advice on social skills for people who have some kind of difficulty there, but its just common sense really.

It may seem like common sense, but as someone who had social anxiety, what is common sense behaviour may be the most challenging thing you can do.

I think self-help books - the quality of which vary enormously - can be really useful when dealing with specific issues you may have. When I was diagnosed with ADHD as an adult, some things I read were good, things about my life made more sense when I did some reading up and I stopped beating myself up because my brain gets a little, erm....interesting at times.

I read one by Adam Gnade. https://www.akpress.org/doityourselfguidetofightingthebig.html It wasn't something I could particularly relate to - if I remember correctly he suggests becoming 'your own boss,' which is kind of reminiscent of those tiresome responses you hear from people defending capitalist enterprises: "if you don't like your job, then start your own business!" etc. It wasn't all that bad, though. (I think at one point he recommends 'wandering around your city,' something I find amusing.) The problem with 'life guides' is that they aren't geared specifically toward you, and so they don't take your situation fully into account. As far as actually doing something - you simply have to make connections with people, find like-minded people and working-class organizations in your area, etc.

Some of the most inspiring literature I read is really just straight up class-struggle stuff, like this

https://freedomnews.org.uk/view-from-the-floor-a-supermarket-worker-on-organising-and-retaking-stolen-life/

Khawaga:

But in the end nothing beats "self-help" like going to therapy or just being able to communicate your issues to your SO, family and close friends.

Absolutely but sometimes that's not available. Therapy can be out of people's reach if it's not available as part of your healthcare and it's not easy to communicate with people close to you if you're not got a handle on the issue yourself. Maybe that's just me, it's one of my life-coping strategies, to get as much information as I can find on something before I do anything. It really cuts down on the stupid, impulsive, wtf was I thinking of decision making I'm prone to.

Fleur

Absolutely but sometimes that's not available. Therapy can be out of people's reach if it's not available as part of your healthcare and it's not easy to communicate with people close to you if you're not got a handle on the issue yourself. Maybe that's just me, it's one of my life-coping strategies, to get as much information as I can find on something before I do anything. It really cuts down on the stupid, impulsive, wtf was I thinking of decision making I'm prone to.

Yes, that is an important caveat. I should have gone to therapy about a decade earlier than I did, but couldn't go because I did not have access to therapy for quite some time and at times when I did have access I was unwilling to go due to the attached social stigma and for the same reasons for why I should've gone to therapy in the first place.

And yeah, I could not communicate properly with friends and family and my SO until after I had done therapy. Catch-22. The people who love you the most and who would be willing to help you are sometimes the last people you want to talk to when you're down in the muck mentally.

Scallywag

Made this thread though in the hope that there does exist some decent stuff out there somewhere, even if most of the stuff out there is pretty shit I think its still a pretty important genre actually that could really help peoples mental health, just too bad its mostly bourgeois nonsense.

There is good stuff out there, but may be hard to find among all the crap and what I may find helpful may not be helpful for you (as Fleur suggested).

Indeed, sorry that was poor word choice, I only meant that the site is pretty good, but its not like the best advice ever. I totally know how difficult it can be to apply the behaviour it suggests.

Oh, no offence taken at all, so no need to apologize.

I am just thinking that in activist communities the notion of "self-care" is used rather than that of "self-help". Is there a real difference between the two, or is it just different words to describe the same process/end result? I think it's the former, but at the moment can't really articulate why I think that's the case.

I think self-care in this situation means taking time out to prevent yourself from being frazzled, burnt-out etc and is more of a pre-emptive action. Doing something to decompress before the situation gets so that you can't function. Could mean unplugging for a few days, doing whatever you need to do to de-stress, removing yourself for a time from a situation which is causing anxiety so that you'll be better able to deal with it.

It's one of my personal hobby horses, older people shitting on younger people and I've heard older people criticizing this generation for practicing self-care. I'm not in anything approaching what you can call an activisty community but when I was, man it was stressful, hard-work, often frustrating and people just burnt out. It seems to me that preventing burn out is a good thing.

Scallywag

hmmm, maybe 'help' implies having something wrong with you, that you 'need help', it sort of doesn't give recognition to the fact capitalist society sucks and that your problem may stem from that rather than yourself.

"It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society."

I guess 'care' is just more compassionate, not being hard on yourself.

This make sense / along the lines you were thinking...?

Or maybe it's just because 'self help' is related to the genre of bourgeois and mystical bullshit.

Yeah, that makes sense. I was also thinking that there may be a gendered aspect to this distinction. Care is feminized and in my experience, it has always been women stressing self-care in activist communities and it was through these women that I was convinced self-care is an essential part of anything we do as organizers and activists.

Edit:

Fleur

It's one of my personal hobby horses, older people shitting on younger people and I've heard older people criticizing this generation for practicing self-care. I'm not in anything approaching what you can call an activisty community but when I was, man it was stressful, hard-work, often frustrating and people just burnt out. It seems to me that preventing burn out is a good thing.

I think you're right about this one. I can't remember much talk about self-care until I moved to North America about a decade ago, and it's always been the younger generation that has raised the importance of taking care of yourself.

And come to think of it, it seems like self-care is more preventative whereas self-help is after the fact?

And come to think of it, it seems like self-care is more preventative whereas self-help is after the fact?

Pretty much, in my understanding.

Not heard of self-care but I imagine scallywag is correct. Self-help also implies an idea of obligation, moral failing, bootstraps and all that shit. Considering how many people who have mental health issues are wracked with guilt anger and frustration, which is usually turned on themselves in a destructive way, over their inability to help themselves then I can see why self-care is better.

I am also tired of older people shitting on the young, I have managed to get myself into a safe job and so have a lot of my friends but the jobs and mobility that wasn't that open to us is even less available to the young.

I think that self-help books, at best, tend to be a gilmmicky way to stretch out basic ideas into something new enough and long enough to get people to pay 9.99 for it. But better ones can help and quite frankly I know enough people who have had to become seriously ill before they even understood that they needed care that I think that we certainky shouldn't throw the baby out with the bathwater.

Also speaking to family, friends SO etc is good but the role of the therapist is to bring a professional viewpoint and also to allow the person to speak without guilt and fear of burdening others. Needing a therapist isn't simply because a person can"'t communicate with people, sometimes it's better to not speak to those we love (to an extent)

I in general HATE self-help as a concept.

It basically profits off of people's insecurities, and pushes this Whole consumer capitalist culture without admiting it. The Whole concept is you're not good enough now, you can be better if you follow these rules. It's so utalitarian as well, how to manipulate People/situations to get "Ahead" or make Money or stuff like that.

THere are exceptions, i.e. books that help With study techniques or anger management techniques or stuff like that. But in general they are terrible.

The best "self-help" is not "self-help" at all, it's "other People help", spend Your time forming relationships, caring for other People, concerning yourself With other people's well being.

I really really hate this capitalist culture of "personal success" or the "self-made man" ... human beings are social, and are happy when they are social.

Stop trying to "maximize" Your life, stop trying to "be the best Version of you", go out and care for other People, love other People, be in a community.

As far as the gendered aspects of "care" ... I tend to stay away from the Whole feminist debate as I don't think Identity politics is at all helpful. But here I do see in much of culture a very unhealthy view of masculinity, masculinity has, in modern times, become more and more portrayed as being a selfish, ambitious and machiavelian; it's not a good way to live.

The topic of self-help always reminds me of this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yNKoH84ioz0
[youtube]yNKoH84ioz0[/youtube]