Prince Andrew has just advertised for a new maid. Any takers?
The unemployed of London must be rubbing their hands with glee. They are being offered the opportunity to work 40 hours a week for £16,000 a year. As well as the hours and salary there is another downside. Unfortunately the successful applicant will have to work for Prince Andrew. If you can stomach spending time with the parasitic arsehole, then this job could be for you.
If you are interested, get yourself on the Buckingham Palace website and complete an application. Some of the duties the successful applicant will be expected to perform are:
1) Run baths for guests of the Prince.
2) Pack and unpack suitcases.
3) Bring guests their Breakfast.
4) Assist with dressing people.
5) Polish the prince’s ‘objets d’art’.
6) Cleaning and relining cupboards and drawers.
7) Make beds.
The successful applicant will be one of three maids who work for Prince Andrew. You will be expected to work one weekend in three, but will be expected to work extra weekends if the Prince is entertaining guests. All Royal staff are currently subject to a pay freeze due to the economic crisis. Do not worry about your pay though, because you will be able to access first class sports facilities.
The advert also asks for someone who is hard working. This is clearly an essential quality for someone to work with a man who is as well known as Prince Andrew for hard work.
Why the fuck would someone need a maid at all, never mind three? Polish his ‘objets s’ art’? I would polish his royal backside with my boot.