Minutes of a meeting of the Glasgow group of McDonalds Workers Resistance in 2002, taken by Casper.
(some details have been omitted to protect the guilty)
Glasgow McDonalds Workers Resistance weekly meeting, XX/XX/02 @ the @&*?!$ !@**? boozer
Present: Brother Bouncer (chair), Brother Casper (minutes), Brother Funnywump, Brother Zotard, Comrade Beagle and ex-Brother Webel
Apologies: Ex-sister pes (@&%$!?~#), sister Rubix Cube (doesn’t like us), Brother Why-Bird (stoned), Ex-Brother Benjamin (presumed sleeping)
Note: very good turnout for once.
Report of e-mails
Some of the e-mails we got last week were reported. I can’t be arsed writing about them. Some people signed up to e-mail list thing, nobody knows how many.
Wump thinks about 250 hits this week, less than last week, sack the web bozos
It still doesn’t work. sack the web bozos. Bouncer fucked it up, at least we’ll blame him. Wump and Webel complain about their phonebill and ask for donations. Everyone laughs at them.
We’re all to think of funny stuff and we’re going to do a bit on cowboying. Chances of us coming up with anything decent are slim.
No news. Geocities is shite, but actually it’s OK
Total good guys, now our North American convenors. everyone agrees they are pure good guys.
SOmeone else wants to make another film about us or something. Webel makes no sense. Zotard suggests we hold out for some serious Spielberg shit but it’s agreed they have got sensible names and so are probably good guys we cn trust.
Some shabby paper wanted us to write something but we didn’t get the message until after the deadline. Wump thinks it was the Record, or the Mirror or the Mail or something. Basically he doesn’t know.
Changes have been made, now considered OK. Wump to copy. Bouncer has not done the leaflet he was meant to ‘cos he’s a cunt.
Agreed their politics are fucked up and their attitude sucks. They are bozos and we will never talk to them again. They’re not our friends any more.
Designs are totally random but nobody cares. Wump hasn’t done them ‘cos he’s a cunt.
Webel rudely interupts to talk to his mobile. Think he’s talking to his girlfriend. HURRY What an arse Webel is. Tell her you will be a more considerate lover
Webel suggests a McDonalds Workers Block at May Day. We’ll talk about it next week.
Funnywump is going to the bar, he’s going to buy a round, fucking hell! Oh no, he’s asking for money.
Brother Why-Bird is a waster who s always stoned and lies around his flat smelling.
Someone needs to check it, big argument, decided why-Bird has to do it, so that wont happen.
The Guy @**&!£$
He is a bozo, we will never talk to him again.
There is a motion from Brother Bouncer that we should refer to each other as ‘siblings’ as this is less gendered. He is denounced as a ponse but Brother Wump seconds the motion. It’s been suggested we are macho? What’s mach about 6 boyyos downing pints in the local? Asks comrade Beagle. Beagle is denounced as a sexist for suggesting lassies can’t down pints as well. It is observed that ex-Sister Pes can drink lots. It is observed that a lot of our correspondence comes from female workers. I’m going for a piss.
Wump has lost the lists, it’s still not been done. We all hate him even more.
WE’ve got none. Everyone says they are broke. Sibling bouncer to write begging letters. Wump to give him something.
Everyone sings his praises and says what a jolly good chap he is. Pure good guy. Comrade Boy George is also a total good guy.
Abuse we’ve been getting
We’ve been getting masses of abuse from some would be eco-warriors. They are bozos. After the revolution we will cut off their dreadlocks.
We’re going to have a piss p some time soon.
Funnywup’s steady attempts at becoming a recluse
this was generally considered a good thing ‘cos no one likes him.
Ex-Sibling Shlonghoover was supposed to come out tonight but never showed up. He’s a dick. He would like it mentioned that he had especially pleasurable oral sex the other day.
Zotard is fiddling with himsef, I think he has hit on a boner.
Change of Pub
Price of a pint has gone up again. It’s suggested by Buncer that we should rotate boozers. Prolonged discussion- nothing decided. Losers.
There is a brief discussion about some dead Russians.
there’s some crazy idea to hold a conference/ pissup for McDonalds workers, held in London, next summer. We’ll get other MWRers, MILF, WRAMers and friends etc. all together. Agreed to leave discussion until further date.
New Manager $%&*#~!
He is a fuckhead, a prize knob. Zotard suggests we fuck up his car. Webel argues we should knee-cap him. Long discussion. I’m bored.
Bouncer wants to open his own bar and be a capitalist so he wont have to worry about anything important and can moan about people being drunk or having too much fun and stuff. Everyone agrees anti-capitalism is no longer fun.