Top ten things to be doing at work instead of working presents the top ten things to do while at work, instead of actually working.

Submitted by libcom on September 28, 2006
walking10 Walking around. Not very glamorous, but in some workplaces it's the easiest way of getting a few minutes to yourself. If necessary, carry some documents or look purposeful
walking9 Chatting. The staple activity of work-avoidance. Wandering about, talking to co-workers, or phoning friends. And you're unlikely to get into trouble, because after all you could be talking about work!
walking8 Pilfering. You can never have too many biros. Of course it's better if you work somewhere that has anything decent, but take back as much of your surplus value as possible
walking7 Having cigarette breaks. Even if you don't smoke, it's worth pretending - five minutes off whenever want
walking6 Having a shit. Getting paid to go the loo, and not having to pay for paper. It's a win-win situation - and you can afford to take your time cos no one's going to ask questions
walking5 Tea breaks. Making the tea gets you brownie points with your colleagues, and gives you a good ten minutes off
walking4 Printing and photocopying pamphlets from
walking3 Organising. Undermining your team's work ethic, planning collective shirking or discussing improvements you can demand on your pay and conditions. And taking the piss out of any arsehole managers and jobsworths
walking2 Having sex. Either with someone else, or on your own - either way works. Try crying out "I'm getting paid - for this!" at the end. It feels good.
walking1 Chatting on the forums. And reading your way through the library, and all the other content on And the rest of the internet of course - don't forget to keep your eyes open and have those fingers over the alt-tab keys!