International left distracted by shiny new object

International left distracted by shiny new object

Jeremy Corbyn has already helped Leftists around the world forget their uncritical support of SYRIZA

The international Left went from strength to strength this summer culminating in the election of socialist Jeremy Corbyn as leader of the Labour Party, according to several Leftists with apparently no memory of the last few months.

“It’s so exciting,” said Jonathan, a university student in London, completely forgetting several grueling and disillusioning months of austerity negotiations in Greece. “Nothing like this has ever happened before!”

Jonathan said he had an interesting summer, including shaving his head, buying a motorcycle and signing up for a course in Marxist economics, though he declined to give any reason why.

He insisted that this exciting new development in the Labour Party would give rise to all sorts of neighbourhood and workplace organizing, though he said his primary activity for the time being would be “growing out my beard”. This was particularly urgent as he was certain that a “Cor-beard” would soon be the latest fad and he wanted to get a head start.

When asked explicitly about SYRIZA in Greece, Jonathan said, “Look, the system makes any reform almost impossible, and under the circumstances they did the best they could and we really shouldn’t jump to any conclusions”. After a lengthy pause he added, “Fuck those guys”.

Many others adherents of the international Left could be seen celebrating throughout London after Corbyn’s election, including Ralph, a decades-long member of the Socialist Workers Party, an organization which still seems to exist for some reason.

“I have no illusions about the Labour Party or any party reforming capitalism”, Ralph declared, “but now that we finally have the right man in power, people will really be inspired to fight for Socialism From Below!” When asked the difference between Socialism From Below and Socialism From Above, he could not come up with an answer and simply responded “Don’t be pessimistic, there will be so many opportunities”, insisting that this very phrase was a central tenet of Marxism going back to Gramsci, probably.

A similar enthusiasm gripped Leftists in Scotland a few weeks earlier with the launch of RISE, the electoral alliance for Respect, Independence, Socialism and Environmentalism, previously nicknamed “Scottish Syriza”.

Nicole, a Glasgow resident and supporter of RISE, insisted that the alliance had nothing to do with Syriza or the Respect Party, for that matter. “Why would you even ask me that?” she added.

When asked about whether Jeremy Corbyn’s election would be positive for the cause of socialism in Scotland or would be an obstacle for RISE, she responded “Jeremy Corbyn? Do you know him? Can you get me his autograph?”

Leftists from around the world sent letters of congratulations to Corbyn, including from SYRIZA in Greece, though all of the Leftists we spoke to insisted that this was irrelevant to the transformation currently underway in the Labour Party.

Posted By

Scott Jay
Sep 13 2015 03:57

Share

Attached files

Comments

silvermoon
Sep 13 2015 18:04

Jonathon cannot be a student in London or anywhere in the UK.

There is no UK university that offers any course in Marxist Economics. The closest he can get is SOAS's "Marxist Political Economy and World Development" course unit.

Chilli Sauce
Sep 13 2015 18:58

The Onion, libcom style.

Noah Fence
Sep 13 2015 19:45

If I had a blog, I would want it to be precisely similar to this. Fucking aces.

Huynh Pham
Sep 14 2015 03:49

Thanks for your opinions, particularly because I'm seeking for PhD degree in economics and now I want it to be Marxist straightforward one.

jojo
Sep 15 2015 02:18

What a lovely piece Scott Jay it is a pure delight! "The shiny new object..." I love it so much I just have to quote a paragraph.

Scott Jay wrote:
"I have no illusions about the Labour Party or any party reforming capitalism”, Ralph declared, “but now that we finally have the right man in power, people will really be inspired to fight for Socialism From Below!” When asked the difference between Socialism From Below and Socialism From Above, he could not come up with an answer and simply responded “Don’t be pessimistic, there will be so many opportunities”, insisting that this very phrase was a central tenet of Marxism going back to Gramsci, probably.

And the picture with the sort of 1964 Beatle cap. Ooh I can't bear it! [exit shrieking]

Noah Fence
Sep 15 2015 19:01

I have noticed in my real life experience that being (supposedly) politically edgy is becoming the latest hipster liberal ideological fashion accessory. People are actually thinking themselves radical for being pro-Corbyn. A guy my daughter knows said he supported the 'Marxist Wing' of the Labour Party!
Modern life is getting harder and harder to bear.

Khawaga
Sep 15 2015 20:44
Quote:
I have noticed in my real life experience that being (supposedly) politically edgy is becoming the latest hipster liberal ideological fashion accessory.

In my experience it's been like that since the late 1990s...

Maclane Horton
Oct 2 2015 19:44

You can't blame the starry eyed hero worshipers. They just hate the system and want to change it. They went lusting after Syriza and the Corbynites because they were what was on offer.

So their new gods are turning into the same old false idols.

What I want to know is where are the people who are going to stay true to their principles and help us to create a human society worth living in?

I begin to think that they don't exist and we are condemned to a series of false prophets giving us vain hope.

mikail firtinaci
Oct 3 2015 10:29
Quote:
They just hate the system and want to change it. They went lusting after Syriza and the Corbynites because they were what was on offer.

Anti-historical "pragmatism" and "practical goalism" is the prime evil in ideology today.