Solidarity unicornism and the future of the left: WSA’s may day poster explained

Recently, there has been an explosion of articles about a certain graphic depicting a unicorn biting the head off of a cop, most notably from The Blaze.

The Pundit Press explains the situation succinctly:

To accompany their rally, Occupy Wall Street has created a propaganda poster to show what they are all about. The poster is of a pink unicorn ripping the head off of a police office, while a rainbow shines in the background:

On the unicorn’s left leg, the acronym “WSA” can be seen. WSA stands for the anti-capitalist organization the Workers Solidarity Alliance. For some reason, the police officer has “Work” written over his groin. Apparently, the WSA is planning on using unicorns to kill work?

As a WSA member, I would like to clear up any confusion here and set the record straight about this image.

First, contrary to a suddenly popular conception, WSA is not Occupy Wall St. I cannot explain why most of these articles say Occupy Wall St made the image, later to find out through their detective work that WSA made it, then still say Occupy Wall St made it. I just can’t. It’s absurd. But I’ll tell you what’s not absurd: Unicorns killing work.

The General Strike is simply a test of our unicorn. The unicorn is our secret weapon, we failed to harness its power for the homosexual agenda but now we are more prepared. The unicorn, in short, will kill work, but what does this all mean?

We know now, after years of struggle, that capitalism can only be abolished through the power of Friendship. Friendship, WSA’s first unicorn, is indeed the unicorn depicted beheading a police officer in our graphic. Friendship was given to us by a close comrade; we originally wanted to name it Bo after our donor’s dog, but ultimately the name was George Soros’ decision.

You see, each of WSA’s 8 unicorns have been bred to fight a certain evil of capitalism and create a new world of glitter and kisses from the bottom-up. Friendship has gained the power of killing work, Flowers is being trained to create a communist chocolate hellhole, and Snuggles is making sure there will be free cookies for all.

Happiness, destroyer of Mondays

Some will have you believe Occupy Wall St is a leaderless movement. This is not true. During the May 1st General Strike, Friendship, using his majestic rainbow as a war flag, will charge into capitalism and lead us in a day of killing work. It will be a slaughter, not even school or chores will be spared by our deadly sparkles and fierce hugs.

Why kill work? Because, we wish to go beyond the pony-based economy of Vermin Supreme to a unicorn-based economy (what we at WSA call solidarity unicornism). Work is but one aspect of a unicornless economy that we seek to abolish (some other aspects include exploitation, boringness, and lack of sparkles) and replace with solidarity unicornism. Harnessing the power of rainbows and democratic self-management, we plan to move beyond the scarcities of capitalism, smash the state (which almost never gives us hugs), and have no rulers or bosses besides our unicorn overlords. In the past, such a unicorn-based society has been attempted to be made from the top down in a system widely known as Rainbow Communism. We have learned that Rainbow Communism is inherently flawed, only by abolishing work from the bottom up with Friendship can we achieve a better world. We can only achieve social justice by replacing capitalism with solidarity unicornism; as long as the existing unicornless economy survives, unicorns cannot prevail and we can never become dancers.

Hugs and Kisses,

Adam Quinn
Secretary of Unicorns
Workers Solidarity Alliance

Originally posted: April 25, 2012 at ideas + action