Anarcho Agony Aunts

Anarcho Agony Aunts is a sex and dating advice show, covered from a feminist, antifascist, anarchist perspective.

Submit your anonymously questions here

Follow @rowantalks & @marijamdid on Twitter to hear of future broadcasts (and other awesome content!)

Buy us a pint, will you?:)

E01.1: How To Get A Second (Or Third!) Date?

Follow @rowantalks & @marijamdid on Twitter to hear of future broadcasts (and other awesome content!)

Question 1 on Episode 1 of Anarcho Agony Aunts (formerly known as #NHS4lefties)

''Cis het dude, I've struggled a bit with dating the last few years. At 23, I'm a late starter for various reasons (I'm a British Romani and only started dating non-travellers a few years ago but whatever) and a sufferer from GAD.
I've gotten great at first dates - learning to dress like a grown man helped - get plenty of second ones, but tend to get overexcited and overthink things when it comes to a second or potential third date and rather understandably this I think is putting women off. I start second-guessing how I should be progressing things, showing interest but not too much interest, texting between dates, etc...
I'm getting better at it everytime and know I'll get there eventually with experience, but any tips?''

The show was live-streamed on Twitter on 08/01/2019 here:
https://twitter.com/marijamdid/status/1082729066942259200

Submit your questions anonymously here:
https://curiouscat.me/marijamdid

Anarcho Agony Aunts is a sex and dating advice show, covered from a feminist, antifascist, anarchist perspective.

Buy us a pint, will you?:) https://ko-fi.com/R5R0E0PC

E01.2: BDSM and Feminism – An Impossible Combination?

Follow @rowantalks & @marijamdid on Twitter to hear of future broadcasts (and other awesome content!)

Question 2 on Episode 1 of Anarcho Agony Aunts (formerly known as #NHS4lefties)

''Despite all my experiences telling me that its very common for comrades and / or women to be interested in playing with power and consent in a fantasy setting, I can't shake a deep sense of self-doubt about working for no masters on the streets and being called master in the sheets. Am I a bad feminist/anarchist/person? Probably not, but it's in my head and making a mess of my love life. Advice? Ty ty - Burdened Dude Scared of Misogyny''

The show was live-streamed on Twitter on 08/01/2019 here:
https://twitter.com/marijamdid/status/1082729066942259200

Submit your questions anonymously here:
https://curiouscat.me/marijamdid

Anarcho Agony Aunts is a sex and dating advice show, covered from a feminist, antifascist, anarchist perspective.

Buy us a pint, will you?:) https://ko-fi.com/R5R0E0PC

E01.3: Anarcho Agony Aunts' Radical Reading List

Follow @rowantalks & @marijamdid on Twitter to hear of future broadcasts (and other awesome content!)

Question 3 on Episode 1 of Anarcho Agony Aunts (formerly known as #NHS4lefties)

''Do you have any recommendations for good lefty non-fiction books, as a burgeoning little lefty who wants to get better informed and isn't really sure where to start?''

The show was live-streamed on Twitter on 08/01/2019 here:
https://twitter.com/marijamdid/status/1082729066942259200

Submit your questions anonymously here:
https://curiouscat.me/marijamdid

Anarcho Agony Aunts is a sex and dating advice show, covered from a feminist, antifascist, anarchist perspective.

Buy us a pint, will you?:) https://ko-fi.com/R5R0E0PC

E02.1: Advice To Clients Of Sex Workers, Anarcho Style

Follow @rowantalks & @marijamdid on Twitter to hear of future broadcasts (and other awesome content!)

Question 1 on Episode 2 of Anarcho Agony Aunts (formerly known as #NHS4lefties)

''Hi, got a question for the NHS - what are your views on men who pay for sex? I attended a talk at TWT last year on sex work and the panel argued that the most appropriate leftist view on sex work is that it should be treated like all other work - and that sex workers should be entitled to respect, workers rights and good working conditions. What wasn't really discussed was how Johns should be viewed in this dynamic. I have paid for sexual services (been to strip clubs, paid escorts etc.) before I was politically educated and now am not sure how I feel about it. One of the panellists said she needed her clients money and appreciated being treated well by them - but at the same time in an ideal world wished she had another means to earn the kind of money that she did via sex work. I appreciate it's a thorny issue - thanks for doing this!''

The show was live-streamed on Twitter on 22/01/2019 here:
https://twitter.com/marijamdid/status/1085266010154790912

Submit your questions anonymously here:
https://curiouscat.me/marijamdid

Anarcho Agony Aunts is a sex and dating advice show, covered from a feminist, antifascist, anarchist perspective.

Buy us a pint, will you?:) https://ko-fi.com/R5R0E0PC

E02.2: Queer As Fake? Polyamourous And Queer Relationship Complications

Follow @rowantalks & @marijamdid on Twitter to hear of future broadcasts (and other awesome content!)

Question 2 on Episode 2 of Anarcho Agony Aunts (formerly known as #NHS4lefties)

''Is it a widespread "thing" for slightly latent queer tending hetero guys to have a 'learning relationship' with a queer woman's emotional labour input, and then default to their more familiar heteronormative relationship, saying it's how they see their long term future?
context (bit lengthy to read out but just so the question makes sense): i think this thing is going on with hetero guy I've been seeing for six months (default poly relationship). Guy met someone he was interested in, and once he'd had a couple of dates (including sex) he was besotted with her, and felt a liberating re-discovery of his femme-activated hetero sexuality. With me, he's been really joyful about exploring a more queer way of being in relationships (I'm a masc of centre queer woman) but has also had this debilitating insecurity about his hetero-maleness. Including never being dom in bed, having warned me upfront (3rd night togetherish) that he was 'really dominant' - hearing you chat about this shit in your first session was what made me want to send this in for yous. Now he wants to stop having sex with me because it's too confusing for him but to keep all the emotional closeness and intimacy except sexual stuff. we have pre-acknowledged it's probs gonna be awkward 'so where is that boner gonna go if we're ignoring it' spoons. Except the gender dynamics in the question, this is a run of the mill relationship goes from sexual to friendship scenario, with loads of communication throughout. It's not baaaaaad. just the bloke getting a bit of a jammy deal rn.''

The show was live-streamed on Twitter on 22/01/2019 here:
https://twitter.com/marijamdid/status/1085266010154790912

Submit your questions anonymously here:
https://curiouscat.me/marijamdid

Anarcho Agony Aunts is a sex and dating advice show, covered from a feminist, antifascist, anarchist perspective.

Buy us a pint, will you?:) https://ko-fi.com/R5R0E0PC

E02.3: Online Dating: Tips And Advice From Two Lefties

Follow @rowantalks & @marijamdid on Twitter to hear of future broadcasts (and other awesome content!)

Question 3 on Episode 2 of Anarcho Agony Aunts (formerly known as #NHS4lefties)

''Straight guy, 29 y/o. As soul-crushing as dating apps are, they feel easier than getting to know people in person and asking for dates there. But I have a real problem with messaging back and forth with potential dates for a little bit, then ceasing to reply. Sometimes it's like I make premature judgements that someone isn't right for me, others it's like I get anxious about not being a good enough catch. Given that I don't match with many women or get many responses from them in the first place, this seems self-sabotaging. I feel lonely and isolated all the time basically, so why am I not more enthused to meet new people? What do you think I can do to regain some enthusiasm and confidence for talking to people? Thanks''

The show was live-streamed on Twitter on 22/01/2019 here:
https://twitter.com/marijamdid/status/1085266010154790912

Submit your questions anonymously here:
https://curiouscat.me/marijamdid

Anarcho Agony Aunts is a sex and dating advice show, covered from a feminist, antifascist, anarchist perspective.

Buy us a pint, will you?:) https://ko-fi.com/R5R0E0PC

E03.1: How To Flirt Without Being Perceived As A Creep?

Follow @rowantalks & @marijamdid on Twitter to hear of future broadcasts (and other awesome content!)

Question 1 on Episode 3 of Anarcho Agony Aunts (formerly known as #NHS4lefties)

''I've read a bunch of feminist stuff about how not to be a creep but there's so little on how to flirt that I'm constantly racked with anxiety about being creepy. I'd love not to make the first move - whether it's wanting to ask someone out or wanting to make out - but unfortunately the norm is that men initiate. So how do I initiate without being read as creepy?''

The show was live-streamed on Twitter on 22/01/2019 here:
https://twitter.com/marijamdid/status/1087802545869774848

Submit your questions anonymously here:
https://curiouscat.me/marijamdid

Anarcho Agony Aunts is a sex and dating advice show, covered from a feminist, antifascist, anarchist perspective.

Buy us a pint, will you?:) https://ko-fi.com/R5R0E0PC

E03.2: How Do You Talk Dirty And Don't Reinforce Patriarchy?

Follow @rowantalks & @marijamdid on Twitter to hear of future broadcasts (and other awesome content!)

Question 2 on Episode 3 of Anarcho Agony Aunts (formerly known as #NHS4lefties)

''How do you talk dirty in a way that doesn't reinforce the patriarchy?''

The show was live-streamed on Twitter on 22/01/2019 here:
https://twitter.com/marijamdid/status/1087802545869774848

Submit your questions anonymously here:
https://curiouscat.me/marijamdid

Anarcho Agony Aunts is a sex and dating advice show, covered from a feminist, antifascist, anarchist perspective.

Buy us a pint, will you?:) https://ko-fi.com/R5R0E0PC

E03.3: Flirting as Bisexual, More Complicated Than You'd Think!

Follow @rowantalks & @marijamdid on Twitter to hear of future broadcasts (and other awesome content!)

Question 3 of Episode 3 of Anarcho Agony Aunts (formerly known as #NHS4lefties)

''Maybe a silly question for the #NHS4lefties show but I gotta ask somewhere. I'm a queer guy who has mostly dated men and mostly slept with men, but in recent years I have also developed an interest in women.
I've not (for lack of a better word) been socialized in straight dating/hookups/etc. though. I would like to get more sexual (and maybe romantic?) experience with women but I am usually too nervous or unsure how to go about it to make a move. I'm hindered by 1) lack of experience about how straight flirting works, 2) fear of being a dickhead like so many het men are and 3) sexual nerves because it's more unfamiliar territory compared to guys. Do you have any advice? Thx in advance!''

The show was live-streamed on Twitter on 22/01/2019 here:
https://twitter.com/marijamdid/status/1087802545869774848

Submit your questions anonymously here:
https://curiouscat.me/marijamdid

Anarcho Agony Aunts is a sex and dating advice show, covered from a feminist, antifascist, anarchist perspective.

Buy us a pint, will you?:) https://ko-fi.com/R5R0E0PC

E03.4: Online Dating: Best Chat Up Line, Picture, IRL Meets Ideas

Follow @rowantalks & @marijamdid on Twitter to hear of future broadcasts (and other awesome content!)

Question 4 of Episode 3 of Anarcho Agony Aunts (formerly known as #NHS4lefties)

''I'm not sure if this has been asked before but I was wondering navigating dating apps.
I'm just getting back into the headspace of dating after taking some time out for myself after the break up of a relationship early last year. Anyway I've plunged into dating app world and made profiles on tinder, bumble and hinge to experiment a bit.
Any suggestions you can make for non-macho dudes who aren't muscle freaks or care for or good at witty chat up lines? Also, whats your preference or general etiquette in terms of asking folk out on dates? Should you speak a bit first or just cut the messaging back and forth and go straight for irl hangs?
Thanks and sorry if these questions are basic! You both rule for spending time thinking through these issues with folks''

The show was live-streamed on Twitter on 22/01/2019 here:
https://twitter.com/marijamdid/status/1087802545869774848

Submit your questions anonymously here:
https://curiouscat.me/marijamdid

Anarcho Agony Aunts is a sex and dating advice show, covered from a feminist, antifascist, anarchist perspective.

Buy us a pint, will you?:) https://ko-fi.com/R5R0E0PC

E03.5: What's The Biggest Lesson You've Learnt From All Your Relationships?

Follow @rowantalks & @marijamdid on Twitter to hear of future broadcasts (and other awesome content!)

Question 5 of Episode 3 of Anarcho Agony Aunts (formerly known as #NHS4lefties)

''What was the biggest lesson you've learnt from all your relationships?''

The show was live-streamed on Twitter on 22/01/2019 here:
https://twitter.com/marijamdid/status/1087802545869774848

Submit your questions anonymously here:
https://curiouscat.me/marijamdid

Anarcho Agony Aunts is a sex and dating advice show, covered from a feminist, antifascist, anarchist perspective.

Buy us a pint, will you?:) https://ko-fi.com/R5R0E0PC

E04.1: Should You Stay Celibate If You Have Mental Health Issues?

Follow @rowantalks & @marijamdid on Twitter to hear of future broadcasts (and other awesome content!)

Question 1 on Episode 4 of Anarcho Agony Aunts

TWO questions, happened to be fairly similar so we tackled them together:

''What are the things you think a person needs to sort out for or about themselves before they can be in a healthy relationship?''

and

''If you have mental health issues that mean dating you will involve a lot of emotional labour for your partner should you date or should you stay celibate (at least until you have all of your issues fixed)? If you want to date how do you be open about your issues as early as possible without scaring away any potential partners?
I'm coming from the point of view of a cishet male anarcho-feminist that doesn't want to seduce another anarcho-babe into a relationship that involves a fuck ton of unpaid, heartbreaking emotional labour.
I guess it kind of applies to anybody with a lot of baggage and privilege. How do you have a relationship when you know that your baggage will likely hurt your partner without it being an exploitive/toxic/patriarchal? If we can't be healthy should we be celibate? When is the right time to bring up your issues when dating? I don't want to wave my big red flags too early but always want to be open and honest with partners and make sure any consent they give is true informed consent.
How do I make like Beyonce and be crazy in love?''

The show was live-streamed on Twitter on 04/03/2019 here: https://twitter.com/marijamdid/status/1102660043214774272

Submit your questions anonymously here: https://curiouscat.me/marijamdid

Anarcho Agony Aunts is a sex and dating advice show, covered from a feminist, antifascist, anarchist perspective.

Buy us a pint, will you?:) https://ko-fi.com/R5R0E0PC

E04.2: Should You Date If You're Not In Education, Employment or Training?

Follow @rowantalks & @marijamdid on Twitter to hear of future broadcasts (and other awesome content!)

Question 2 on Episode 4 of Anarcho Agony Aunts

''Can ugly anarchist NEETs date? Is it possible to be of interest to someone or have a connection when you have nothing good going on for you in your life plus have niche political, philosophical and reading interests? I understand no one is entitled to dates and no one should have to suffer a boring and unappealing scrub.''

The show was live-streamed on Twitter on 04/03/2019 here: https://twitter.com/marijamdid/status/1102660043214774272

Submit your questions anonymously here: https://curiouscat.me/marijamdid

Anarcho Agony Aunts is a sex and dating advice show, covered from a feminist, antifascist, anarchist perspective.

Buy us a pint, will you?:) https://ko-fi.com/R5R0E0PC

E04.3: The Politics of Porn

Follow @rowantalks & @marijamdid on Twitter to hear of future broadcasts (and other awesome content!)

***CONTENT NOTE: CONTAINS DISCUSSION ON SEXUAL VIOLENCE***

Question 3 on Episode 4 of Anarcho Agony Aunts

''Do you have any tips/thoughts on how to reduce one's porn consumption/how to, for want of a better word, "decolonise" one's libido & fantasies from the ways that porn and all that structures them? Also keep it up, I'd never really seen the point of the whole "youtuber" thing before and never got why anyone would want to watch it, but watching your stuff I was like "ah, now this, this I get the appeal of".''

The show was live-streamed on Twitter on 04/03/2019 here: https://twitter.com/marijamdid/status/1102660043214774272

Submit your questions anonymously here: https://curiouscat.me/marijamdid

Anarcho Agony Aunts is a sex and dating advice show, covered from a feminist, antifascist, anarchist perspective.

Buy us a pint, will you?:) https://ko-fi.com/R5R0E0PC

E04.4: Breasts, Tits, Boobs, Chest – A Handful Of Considerations

Follow @rowantalks & @marijamdid on Twitter to hear of future broadcasts (and other awesome content!)

Question 4 on Episode 4 of Anarcho Agony Aunts

''Not very sure if this is an appropriate question, but here we go: i feel like I have a through understanding how to eat pussy - I know the internal and external anatomy, how to stimulate it, how to adapt to different partners' preferences - but I only have a naïve grounding in what to do with boobs, just stuff that has worked in the past. Do you have any advice from a boob-owner's perspective to help ground What To Do With Titties in a rigorous theoretical framework?''

The show was live-streamed on Twitter on 04/03/2019 here: https://twitter.com/marijamdid/status/1102660043214774272

Submit your questions anonymously here: https://curiouscat.me/marijamdid

Anarcho Agony Aunts is a sex and dating advice show, covered from a feminist, antifascist, anarchist perspective.

Buy us a pint, will you?:) https://ko-fi.com/R5R0E0PC

E05.1: How To Catch Some Action In A Club? Advice From Two Anarchos

Follow @rowantalks & @marijamdid on Twitter to hear of future broadcasts (and other awesome content!)

Question 1 on Episode 5 of Anarcho Agony Aunts

''Thanks for your channel it's epic :). Here's a question I've always been scared to ask anyone. I've never got with a woman in a club/ night out situation, and I think I'd like to try that. I've got off with a bloke (which was hot af), but let's be honest social rules in gay bars are simpler;). So yeah, how does one go about that? How do you get someone's attention and start proper conversations in a club? (and not be creepy, etc) It's all a long way out of my comfort zone to be honest.
I'm in a small city, we do have a nightlife but nothing like London :P''

The show was live-streamed on Twitter on 24/04/2019 here: https://twitter.com/marijamdid/status/1121127645339504640?s=19

Submit your questions anonymously here: https://curiouscat.me/marijamdid

Anarcho Agony Aunts is a sex and dating advice show, covered from a feminist, antifascist, anarchist perspective.

Buy us a pint, will you?:) https://ko-fi.com/R5R0E0PC

E05.2: ''My Boyfriend Is Leaning Towards Misogynist Forums, What Do I Do?'

Follow @rowantalks & @marijamdid on Twitter to hear of future broadcasts (and other awesome content!)

Question 2 on Episode 5 of Anarcho Agony Aunts

''Stumbled across the channel and I love it! Your topics and discussions really speak to me and I can relate on everything you say :D Hopefully I can catch up on the old ones sometime soon.
If you don't mind another topic request I would like to get you opinions on mgtow. sorry if im being a little more formal right now!! but this is kinda serious and I would love your views :)
okay some backstory...
My boyfriend has started saying thing like "take women’s rights away" after listening to people like Turdflingingmonkey and sandman... over the last month he has completely changed! no matter what I say he keeps on listening to these people and they are here on youtube! Should I keep trying to talk to him about this? Should I tell somebody? should I just dump him?
Thanks for reading all that! haha! :P I know I can write a block of text sometimes so | should stop soon. Any advice would be great :)''

The show was live-streamed on Twitter on 24/04/2019 here: https://twitter.com/marijamdid/status/1121127645339504640?s=19

Submit your questions anonymously here: https://curiouscat.me/marijamdid

Anarcho Agony Aunts is a sex and dating advice show, covered from a feminist, antifascist, anarchist perspective.

Buy us a pint, will you?:) https://ko-fi.com/R5R0E0PC

E05.3: Safety First! Well, Kind Of. (AAA) Talk Condoms & Dental Dams

Follow @rowantalks & @marijamdid on Twitter to hear of future broadcasts (and other awesome content!)

Question 3 on Episode 5 of Anarcho Agony Aunts

''Hey quick question how important is using condoms or dental dams during oral sex?''

The show was live-streamed on Twitter on 24/04/2019 here: https://twitter.com/marijamdid/status/1121127645339504640?s=19

Submit your questions anonymously here: https://curiouscat.me/marijamdid

Anarcho Agony Aunts is a sex and dating advice show, covered from a feminist, antifascist, anarchist perspective.

Buy us a pint, will you?:) https://ko-fi.com/R5R0E0PC

E05.4: The Politics Of Body Hair - Do Guys Have It More Tough?

Follow @rowantalks & @marijamdid on Twitter to hear of future broadcasts (and other awesome content!)

Question 4 on Episode 5 of Anarcho Agony Aunts

''Hey, weird question, but I guess that this is where these are supposed to go,- I'm a cis het man, and I shaved my body a while ago, and found that until it mostly grew back, felt like I was a raw fish lying on ice in a fishmongers. To what extent is having an unshaven body unattractive to women, as far as you can say? If it means anything, body hair on woman is totally not an issue for me at all''

The show was live-streamed on Twitter on 24/04/2019 here: https://twitter.com/marijamdid/status/1121127645339504640?s=19

Submit your questions anonymously here: https://curiouscat.me/marijamdid

Anarcho Agony Aunts is a sex and dating advice show, covered from a feminist, antifascist, anarchist perspective.

Buy us a pint, will you?:) https://ko-fi.com/R5R0E0PC

E05.5: The (Totally Subjective) Essentials Of Pleasing A Lady In The Bedroom

Follow @rowantalks & @marijamdid on Twitter to hear of future broadcasts (and other awesome content!)

Question 5 on Episode 5 of Anarcho Agony Aunts

''I'm a 20 year old cis het man from Aberdeen, and I've never had a romantic or sexual relationship. I think it's interesting to hear women talk about what they find attractive and sexually satisfying, because when I am in the right sort of place personally for a relationship, I'd like to be able to do it, ahem, thoroughly, and because I often find accounts of what works surprising, eg, I hadn't been under the impression that doing things to breasts, backs, ears, etc, would do much for the people involved. I get that a lot of what would "work" for women must be highly specific to individuals, but could you try and cover "the essentials” if that's possible?''

The show was live-streamed on Twitter on 24/04/2019 here: https://twitter.com/marijamdid/status/1121127645339504640?s=19

Submit your questions anonymously here: https://curiouscat.me/marijamdid

Anarcho Agony Aunts is a sex and dating advice show, covered from a feminist, antifascist, anarchist perspective.

Buy us a pint, will you?:) https://ko-fi.com/R5R0E0PC

E05.6: Polyamory - What's All The Fuss About?

Follow @rowantalks & @marijamdid on Twitter to hear of future broadcasts (and other awesome content!)

Question 6 on Episode 5 of Anarcho Agony Aunts

''Hi AAA, love the show. Keep at it! (Though sort out your sound)
I'm surprised no one has asked this explicitly yet, but I'd love to hear your opinions about polyamory. It seems very fashionable amongst the left. Have you got any experience, does it work at all? Thanks!''

The show was live-streamed on Twitter on 24/04/2019 here: https://twitter.com/marijamdid/status/1121127645339504640?s=19

Submit your questions anonymously here: https://curiouscat.me/marijamdid

Anarcho Agony Aunts is a sex and dating advice show, covered from a feminist, antifascist, anarchist perspective.

Buy us a pint, will you?:) https://ko-fi.com/R5R0E0PC

E06.1: Anarcho Agony Aunts Touch On Nofap Movement

Follow @rowantalks & @marijamdid on Twitter to hear of future broadcasts (and other awesome content!)

Question 1 on Episode 6 of Anarcho Agony Aunts

''Hi, first of all, I love the show. I'm curious what your opinion on the 'nofap' movement is.''

The show was recorded with a live audience on 31/5/2019 as part of Anarchist Festival 2019 in London, UK

Submit your questions anonymously here: https://curiouscat.me/marijamdid

Anarcho Agony Aunts is a sex and dating advice show, covered from a feminist, antifascist, anarchist perspective.

Buy us a pint, will you?:) https://ko-fi.com/R5R0E0PC

E06.2: ''I Can't Get A Date Since All Women Are Feminists These Days''

Follow @rowantalks & @marijamdid on Twitter to hear of future broadcasts (and other awesome content!)

Question 2 on Episode 6 of Anarcho Agony Aunts

''As a Socialist man, I find it nowadays too hard to find a girlfriend as a lot of girls are feminists, and a lot of them think that men are not worth it, even though some of us men are good, can you help out a comrade.''

The show was recorded with a live audience on 31/5/2019 as part of Anarchist Festival 2019 in London, UK

Submit your questions anonymously here: https://curiouscat.me/marijamdid

Anarcho Agony Aunts is a sex and dating advice show, covered from a feminist, antifascist, anarchist perspective.

Buy us a pint, will you?:) https://ko-fi.com/R5R0E0PC

E06.3: Would WE Date An Obese Boy With Man Boobs And Belly

Follow @rowantalks & @marijamdid on Twitter to hear of future broadcasts (and other awesome content!)

Question 3 on Episode 6 of Anarcho Agony Aunts

''Would you date an obese boy with man boobs and belly?''

The show was recorded with a live audience on 31/5/2019 as part of Anarchist Festival 2019 in London, UK

Submit your questions anonymously here: https://curiouscat.me/marijamdid

Anarcho Agony Aunts is a sex and dating advice show, covered from a feminist, antifascist, anarchist perspective.

Buy us a pint, will you?:) https://ko-fi.com/R5R0E0PC

E06.4: ''How Do I Talk With A Partner About My Sexual Assault?''

Follow @rowantalks & @marijamdid on Twitter to hear of future broadcasts (and other awesome content!)

***CONTENT NOTE: CONTAINS DISCUSSION ON SEXUAL VIOLENCE***

Question 4 on Episode 6 of Anarcho Agony Aunts

''Thank you both for doing what you do with the channel! I'm a CIS-HET guy who was sexually assaulted about 8 years ago. I recently mustered up the courage to get back into the dating game, but I've been suffering hardcore from intimacy issues since the assault. Basically, although I desire sex and intimacy, once I'm with another person I end up having negative feelings, difficulty feeling in the mood, and ultimately avoiding sex. To make matters worse, I couldn't really talk about why I felt this way with my partner.
This has already cost me one relationship already - I know that it's not a healthy mindset to be in, and that leaving it unaddressed with future partners is only going to make things worse. However, I don't know how to have this talk with any sexual partner. I feel that that conversation is a whole lot of negativity for one person to process, and considering that I live in a regressive rural area where the dominant view is that men can't be victims of sexual assault; I feel like I have no support from my community and I'm too afraid to turn to my friends for advice.
Ultimately my question(s) are: How do I talk about my assault and intimacy struggles with a partner; and should I apologize to my ex, since my lack of intimacy and inability to discuss why sank that relationship (which led to a lot of anxiety on her part).
Apologies for the heavy topic, and keep up the great work you and Rowan do with AAA! ''

The show was recorded with a live audience on 31/5/2019 as part of Anarchist Festival 2019 in London, UK

Submit your questions anonymously here: https://curiouscat.me/marijamdid

Anarcho Agony Aunts is a sex and dating advice show, covered from a feminist, antifascist, anarchist perspective.

Buy us a pint, will you?:) https://ko-fi.com/R5R0E0PC

E06.5: The Hurdles of a Co-dependant Relationship

Follow @rowantalks & @marijamdid on Twitter to hear of future broadcasts (and other awesome content!)

Question 5 on Episode 6 of Anarcho Agony Aunts

''There's a girl (20) who seems really really into me, but she has thrown herself into relationships with what seems to be manipulative guys. She was engaged with a 30ish year old dude when we met in school. In spring she got broken up with, and moved in with a new guy the following summer, after meeting the dude twice. She seems dependant on having a relationship, while I want help her to become more independent, I worry she will fall for me as I try to support her and build her self-asteem. She is very nice and cute, and if she was more independant I would like to date her. But I feel like there is a power dynamic there that I don't like, if she is into me and relationship dependant, entering to a relationship with her inherently plays on her dependancy I feel like. I don't want to get close and break her heart, nor do I want to be a savior bf.
I'm 21 btw closeted amab enby. Any advice as to what to do?''

The show was recorded with a live audience on 31/5/2019 as part of Anarchist Festival 2019 in London, UK

Submit your questions anonymously here: https://curiouscat.me/marijamdid

Anarcho Agony Aunts is a sex and dating advice show, covered from a feminist, antifascist, anarchist perspective.

Buy us a pint, will you?smile https://ko-fi.com/R5R0E0PC

E06.6: ''I Think I Might Be Bisexual, What Is My Next Step?''

Follow @rowantalks & @marijamdid on Twitter to hear of future broadcasts (and other awesome content!)

Question 6 on Episode 6 of Anarcho Agony Aunts

''Hello. (22, cis, M) I grew up in a highly romantically conservative Christian background. But I'm quite left wing now. I would usually call myself straight but I'm not really sure. At uni. I kissed a guy or two and it opened a new world of very confusing feelings. I've had these feelings before on and off to the point where I came out as bi to my sixth form councillor. Those feelings sort of subsided but after the kiss, they feel stronger than ever. So strong that the next time I saw him I felt very excited. These feelings of attraction to guys are very strong now. I scroll on Facebook and Twitter to fantasize about touching guy acquaintances.
I don't think I could do anything penetrative tho with a guy and I find difficult to get off to gay porn.
My question is. Am I bi or just bi-curious? How do I handle these new confusing emotions? What is my next step? Is there such a thing as latent bisexuality?
HELLLLLLPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP
Thank you so much. Love your praxis. You are both are superstars
ACAB, TRANS RIGHTS, WE HAVE NOTHING LOSE TO BUT OUR CHAINS''

The show was recorded with a live audience on 31/5/2019 as part of Anarchist Festival 2019 in London, UK

Submit your questions anonymously here: https://curiouscat.me/marijamdid

Anarcho Agony Aunts is a sex and dating advice show, covered from a feminist, antifascist, anarchist perspective.

Buy us a pint, will you?:) https://ko-fi.com/R5R0E0PC

E07.1: What To Say Instead of "CAN WE BANG"?

Follow @rowantalks & @marijamdid on Twitter to hear of future broadcasts (and other awesome content!)

Question 1 on Episode 7 of Anarcho Agony Aunts

‘’Didn't see your live show the other night so apologies if it was covered then, but... I notice in some of your answers you kind of lean a lot on nonverbal cues/signals, "just being able to tell" if someone's into you and so on. I think one area that could use a bit more exploring is how cognitive biases play into this - both positive (people seeing and hearing what they want to see and hear) and negative ("no way could they possibly be into me, they're so out of my league!" etc). Or indeed both of those things going on to some extent at the same time. Like, how can we be certain that we're not reading someone's "I think this person is interesting and I'd like to be friends with them" signals, or indeed their "I have no interest in you whatsoever but I'm very polite and/or scared of rejecting them openly" signals, as something more than they are, without just openly coming out and saying "HELLO I WANT TO BANG YOU IS THIS FEELING MUTUAL?" Somewhat relatedly, tips on shy4shy dating would be welcome.’’

The show was recorded in front of a live audience on 17/6/2019 as part of AntiUniversity 2019 in London, UK

Submit your questions anonymously here: https://curiouscat.me/marijamdid

Anarcho Agony Aunts is a sex and dating advice show, covered from a feminist, antifascist, anarchist perspective.

Buy us a pint, will you?:) https://ko-fi.com/R5R0E0PC

E07.2: Are We Using "Emotional Labour" Incorrectly?

Follow @rowantalks & @marijamdid on Twitter to hear of future broadcasts (and other awesome content!)

Question 2 on Episode 7 of Anarcho Agony Aunts

‘’Why do you think so many people on the left use the term 'emotional labour' incorrectly to describe them processing their feelings in relationships, when it was initially coined to talk about the way people are expected to maintain or suppress emotions while working?’’

The show was recorded in front of a live audience on 17/6/2019 as part of AntiUniversity 2019 in London, UK

Submit your questions anonymously here: https://curiouscat.me/marijamdid

Anarcho Agony Aunts is a sex and dating advice show, covered from a feminist, antifascist, anarchist perspective.

Buy us a pint, will you?:) https://ko-fi.com/R5R0E0PC

E07.3: Anarcho Agony Aunts on Trans / Homofascism and Internalised Misogyny

Follow @rowantalks & @marijamdid on Twitter to hear of future broadcasts (and other awesome content!)

Question 3 on Episode 7 of Anarcho Agony Aunts

‘’What is your opinion on the Trans/Homofascists that have been popping up recently (or any marginalized group supporting fascism or third position ideology)’’

The show was recorded in front of a live audience on 17/6/2019 as part of AntiUniversity 2019 in London, UK

Submit your questions anonymously here: https://curiouscat.me/marijamdid

Anarcho Agony Aunts is a sex and dating advice show, covered from a feminist, antifascist, anarchist perspective.

Buy us a pint, will you?:) https://ko-fi.com/R5R0E0PC

E07.4: Dating Advice for Someone with Asperger's

Follow @rowantalks & @marijamdid on Twitter to hear of future broadcasts (and other awesome content!)

Question 4 on Episode 7 of Anarcho Agony Aunts

‘’hey..I am an aspie and its very difficult for me to initiate and maintain a conversation with any stranger - making it very difficult for me to find love. But I think its perfectly fine for me once I am very familiar with the person. What tips can you suggest to help me out of the situation. Is there a way to get a girl attracted without doing much of the talking :)’’

The show was recorded in front of a live audience on 17/6/2019 as part of AntiUniversity 2019 in London, UK

Submit your questions anonymously here: https://curiouscat.me/marijamdid

Anarcho Agony Aunts is a sex and dating advice show, covered from a feminist, antifascist, anarchist perspective.

Buy us a pint, will you?:) https://ko-fi.com/R5R0E0PC

E07.5: The IWW, Activism and Love: Tips for a Wobbly Marriage

Follow @rowantalks & @marijamdid on Twitter to hear of future broadcasts (and other awesome content!)

Question 5 on Episode 7 of Anarcho Agony Aunts

‘’Ancomm wobbly married to the love of my life, together 10+ years. Our relationship is supportive, passionate and extremely communicative. I have become much more active in direct action and organizing the past few months, and I can tell inherently it's wearing on my wife. She knows this is important to me and our worldviews align, though she has no desire to participate, which is entirely her right and prerogative. Struggling with the visceral imperative I feel to try to do my part to fight the good fight while still maintaining the healthy relationship we have both enjoyed for so long. Please keep doing the show, the work you're both doing is critical. Thank you!’’

The show was recorded in front of a live audience on 17/6/2019 as part of AntiUniversity 2019 in London, UK

Submit your questions anonymously here: https://curiouscat.me/marijamdid

Anarcho Agony Aunts is a sex and dating advice show, covered from a feminist, antifascist, anarchist perspective.

Buy us a pint, will you?:) https://ko-fi.com/R5R0E0PC

E07.6: Putting the Sex Back Into "Sexy Academic"

Follow @rowantalks & @marijamdid on Twitter to hear of future broadcasts (and other awesome content!)

Question 6 on Episode 7 of Anarcho Agony Aunts

‘’Hi, I love your guys channel!
I'm going to try to hyper simplify my question for the sake of not sending you guys an essay. I'm a cis het woman (I guess) in a long term relationship with a cis het guy. As the years have gone by it's become more apparent that we differ in terms of our needs for and expression of affection and intimacy. Emotionally for me I really need and love to give and receive affection and intimacy but he has far less of a need for that. We're still very much in love and he's happy to accept the affection I give but makes less of an effort to do so himself. He's a very dedicated/serious intellectual type who is always worried he's wasting time if he's not reading 8+hrs a day or working on a project which I love and admire about him but it often makes him very emotionally unavailable. For example I compliment how he looks all the time, he tells me I'm pretty etc. like maybe 3 times a year. We have sex like once a month at the most, good foreplay has become rare. And he hardly says or does sweet things for me or pumps me up anymore. Etc. Etc. It just makes me feel sad and a bit taken for granted as a romantic partner. I've spoken to him about this several times but he always seems to slip back into this. Have you guys dealt with similar situations?’’

The show was recorded in front of a live audience on 17/6/2019 as part of AntiUniversity 2019 in London, UK

Submit your questions anonymously here: https://curiouscat.me/marijamdid

Anarcho Agony Aunts is a sex and dating advice show, covered from a feminist, antifascist, anarchist perspective.

Buy us a pint, will you?:) https://ko-fi.com/R5R0E0PC

E08.1: Climate Crisis = Relationship Crisis

Follow @rowantalks & @marijamdid on Twitter to hear of future broadcasts (and other awesome content!)

Question 1 on Episode 8 of Anarcho Agony Aunts

‘’The climate crisis is ruining my sex life. I don't want to date, I refuse to bring a child into a world without a future. I never feel sexy, the dread of our race's inaction has defeated my libido.’’

Submit your questions anonymously here: https://curiouscat.me/marijamdid

Anarcho Agony Aunts is a sex and dating advice show, covered from a feminist, antifascist, anarchist perspective.

Buy us a pint, will you?:) https://ko-fi.com/R5R0E0PC

E08.2: How To Connect W/ The LGBTQ+ Community As A Newbie?

Follow @rowantalks & @marijamdid on Twitter to hear of future broadcasts (and other awesome content!)

Question 2 on Episode 8 of Anarcho Agony Aunts

‘’Hey! You are both doing incredible work! I'm a 22 year old male. I came out to my friends and family about being bisexual about one year ago. Since then, however, I still feel very isolated. My friends etc are fantastic, but no one close to me is LGBT and I haven't got the confidence to go to LGBT places on my own, meaning that I still kind of feel like I'm not experiencing this side of myself. I know that it would be good to attend LGBT events etc. But I can't bring myself to go on my own! I also still feel a little bit scared of gay sex (which I've never been involved in) as well and don't want to be seen, even though I'm out. I'm just a bit of a mess really and any help will be appreciated. Thanks.’’

Submit your questions anonymously here: https://curiouscat.me/marijamdid

Anarcho Agony Aunts is a sex and dating advice show, covered from a feminist, antifascist, anarchist perspective.

Buy us a pint, will you?:) https://ko-fi.com/R5R0E0PC

E08.3: 30 & Have Never Been In A Relationship - What's To Do?

Follow @rowantalks & @marijamdid on Twitter to hear of future broadcasts (and other awesome content!)

Question 3 on Episode 8 of Anarcho Agony Aunts

‘’I do not where else to ask so sorry to bother you. I am a 30 year old man who has never been in a relationship and I am now scared to seek one thinking that I will be pathetic. How do I convince my ego that it is ok to be rejected by someone else instead of rejecting myself. :(''

Submit your questions anonymously here: https://curiouscat.me/marijamdid

Anarcho Agony Aunts is a sex and dating advice show, covered from a feminist, antifascist, anarchist perspective.

E08.4: Jordan Peterson, Bisexuality & How To Unlearn Crap Behaviour

Follow @rowantalks & @marijamdid on Twitter to hear of future broadcasts (and other awesome content!)

Question 4 on Episode 8 of Anarcho Agony Aunts

‘’Hi comrades. LOVE your show. Recently escaped falling down the Jordan Peterson hole and lefttube is largely to thank. I'm a bi cis guy and I've absorbed lots of homophobia/sexism over the years which I've internalised. I've only hooked up with other guys and I've never been in an emotionally intimate relationship at all. I often feel inadequate as a man and have anxiety that women won't be attracted to me because I'm too "feminine". Many just assume I'm gay. I know this is a problematic mindset but I'm working on it by dipping my toe into dating girls. As I'm tentative and anxious af about intimacy, I often get cold feet and then feel guilty for basically leading girls only to leave them hanging. Obvs I've got issues, but how can I explore my sexuality and build my confidence up without being such a wasteman?’’

Submit your questions anonymously here: https://curiouscat.me/marijamdid

Follow @rowantalks & @marijamdid on Twitter to hear of future broadcasts (and other awesome content!)

Anarcho Agony Aunts is a sex and dating advice show, covered from a feminist, antifascist, anarchist perspective.

Buy us a pint, will you?:) https://ko-fi.com/R5R0E0PC

E08.5: Beauty (And Hygiene) | Anarcho Agony Aunts

Follow @rowantalks & @marijamdid on Twitter to hear of future broadcasts (and other awesome content!)

Question 5 on Episode 8 of Anarcho Agony Aunts

‘’What is the difference between a healthy desire to look attractive and an unhealthy desire to conform to fucked up gendered racialised beauty standards? Is wanting to get laid a bad reason to work out/lose weight? I have a friend (legit) who ignores his health and hygiene, and uses the fact that beauty norms are constructed and oppressive as justification. It wouldn't be an issue, but he clearly is actually just trying to repress some things. How can I convince him that it is possible to be liberated and want to look attractive?’’

Submit your questions anonymously here: https://curiouscat.me/marijamdid

Follow @rowantalks & @marijamdid on Twitter to hear of future broadcasts (and other awesome content!)

Anarcho Agony Aunts is a sex and dating advice show, covered from a feminist, antifascist, anarchist perspective.

Buy us a pint, will you?:) https://ko-fi.com/R5R0E0PC

E08.6: Point Scoring Re: Hookups - Only A Problem On The Right?

Follow @rowantalks & @marijamdid on Twitter to hear of future broadcasts (and other awesome content!)

Question 6 on Episode 8 of Anarcho Agony Aunts

‘What are your tips for someone who does not have a crush on anyone but still wants to date? And what is your opinion on sex used as toxic masculinity example "oh i get laid way more than you do i am a better man/i get laid more you are a beta loser incel"’’

Submit your questions anonymously here: https://curiouscat.me/marijamdid

Follow @rowantalks & @marijamdid on Twitter to hear of future broadcasts (and other awesome content!)

Anarcho Agony Aunts is a sex and dating advice show, covered from a feminist, antifascist, anarchist perspective.

Buy us a pint, will you?:) https://ko-fi.com/R5R0E0PC

E08.7: No More 'Mr Nice Guy'

Follow @rowantalks & @marijamdid on Twitter to hear of future broadcasts (and other awesome content!)

Sorry lost the footage :'(

Question 7 on Episode 8 of Anarcho Agony Aunts

‘’Hello. I have only just discovered your show and was wondering if you had discussed the phenomenon of the "nice guy," anywhere. I do not accept the logic of the Alt-Right/Incel movements with regards to being a "nice guy." However I have consistently been told that I am "too nice," throughout my life by friends and family (mostly men but some women too, and if anything it seems more prevalent among LGBTQI friends)
I am not entirely sure what people really mean by this, I don't want to be less nice. But I haven't had any form of relationship in over 5 years!’’

Submit your questions anonymously here: https://curiouscat.me/marijamdid

Follow @rowantalks & @marijamdid on Twitter to hear of future broadcasts (and other awesome content!)

Anarcho Agony Aunts is a sex and dating advice show, covered from a feminist, antifascist, anarchist perspective.

Buy us a pint, will you?:) https://ko-fi.com/R5R0E0PC