Funniest thing you read today

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wojtek
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Jun 16 2015 23:50

https://i-d.vice.com/en_gb/article/why-young-londoners-are-moving-to-ber...

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Entdinglichung
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Jun 19 2015 15:32

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Tyrion
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Jun 20 2015 23:57

Jeb Bush's campaign logo. I was sure this was a joke at first.

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Soapy
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Jun 21 2015 03:45

Eh it seems pretty good. Remember the republicans were almost able to get romney electrd, and he had the brand image of the guy from the toothpaste commercial.

Hope that trump gets elected and he raises money for the budget by selling off the branding rights to every month a la infinite jest. Jk i hope they all stfu and go home.

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Entdinglichung
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Jun 25 2015 14:41

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Tyrion
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Apr 6 2016 03:39

deleted

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jura
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Jun 25 2015 16:46
Tyrion wrote:
Jeb Bush's campaign logo. I was sure this was a joke at first.

In many Slavic languages "Jeb!" literally means "(Do) fuck!".

boomerang
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Jun 27 2015 01:22

Not so much funny as awesome.

source: http://www.sinfest.net/view.php?date=2012-06-21

fidel gastro
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Jul 3 2015 07:43

I can't post this on Funniest Thing You Saw Today so it's here instead. This guy was called Paul Charles Dozsa, a Hungarian chess champion whose hobby it was to dine at expensive restaurants and refuse to pay. This is what happens when the police try and arrest him in 1970 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PeihcfYft9w

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Noah Fence
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Jul 3 2015 10:54

Paul Charles Dozsa. My new hero.

boomerang
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Jul 3 2015 21:39
red and black riot wrote:
I can't post this on Funniest Thing You Saw Today so it's here instead. This guy was called Paul Charles Dozsa, a Hungarian chess champion whose hobby it was to dine at expensive restaurants and refuse to pay. This is what happens when the police try and arrest him in 1970 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PeihcfYft9w

HAAAHAHAHA! that was wonderful!

i could watch that over and over. and that accent!

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RebelRising
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Jul 4 2015 02:10

"GENTLEMEN...this is...Democracy. Manifesht. Have a look at the headlock here, see that gentleman over h-- GET YOUR HANDS OFF MY PENIS!"

syndicalist
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Jul 4 2015 00:33

Costa Rica & Animule Rights

fidel gastro
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Jul 4 2015 08:49
Webby wrote:
Paul Charles Dozsa. My new hero.

He used to try and pay with Monopoly money, or he would say that the restaurant had two choices, either they phone the police and he makes a scene or they just let him go. In court he would say he was sorry so they would let him go. He even said in his defense that he couldn't help but do it because the Hungarian Military had but a chip in his brain that made him do it.

wojtek
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Jul 7 2015 14:31

http://i.iplsc.com/okladka-ksiazki/00045QMVA1AD0XQW-C116-F4.jpg

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Entdinglichung
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Jul 9 2015 08:45

http://metro.co.uk/2015/07/07/lenin-and-stalin-impersonators-get-into-sc...

Quote:
Two impersonators came to blows on Manezh Square after a Stalin double accused a Lenin double of working with a different Stalin behind his back.

Latifa Valiyev accused his partner Igor Gorbunov of posing for photos with tourists with a rival Stalin impersonator.

During the argument, Valiyev reportedly hit Gorbunov three times with an umbrella, prompting the Moscow metro Prosecutor’s Office to launch an investigation.

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Noah Fence
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Jul 9 2015 10:42
Entdinglichung wrote:
http://metro.co.uk/2015/07/07/lenin-and-stalin-impersonators-get-into-sc...

Quote:
Two impersonators came to blows on Manezh Square after a Stalin double accused a Lenin double of working with a different Stalin behind his back.

Latifa Valiyev accused his partner Igor Gorbunov of posing for photos with tourists with a rival Stalin impersonator.

During the argument, Valiyev reportedly hit Gorbunov three times with an umbrella, prompting the Moscow metro Prosecutor’s Office to launch an investigation.

LOL! I'd love to see a punch up between a Chomsky an a Graeber impersonator!

LinksRadikal
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Jul 10 2015 21:09

War isn't funny but bear with me for a moment. It's been more than 200 years since this...incident.

Quote:
So, in 1788, Austria was at war with Turkey. The Austrian army was marching down to clash with an advancing Turkish army in what is now Romania. Shenanigans ensued.

What happened was the Austrians set up camp for the night, and some scouts on horseback went out to check the immediate countryside for any armed Turks. They came across a band of gypsies with a shitload of schnapps for sale, which they eagerly bought and began drinking with a gusto rarely seen outside of a frat party.

A load of Austrian infantry were also out and about, and came across the group of scouts. They wanted to join the drinking. The boozy scouts refused and set up makeshift fortification in what probably seemed a really funny idea at the time. Things got heated, an argument broke out and someone got too excited and fired a shot.

What Happened Next?

All Hell broke loose, infantry and scouts firing wildly at each other. The infantry, in a state of confusion, began shouting that the Turks were attacking them. The scouts, even though it was they who were attacking their infantry, suddenly believed that there actually was a huge, swarthy, mustachioed Turkish army just behind them.

Filling their snazzy cavalry pants with rapidly escaping dinners, the scouts broke ranks and piled through the ranks of infantry. The infantry took this as a sign that the Turks were definitely there. They began a panicky withdrawal, all animosity forgotten in the face of the imaginary Turkish army.

Just when the whole affair couldn't get any stupider, it did. The Austrian army was made up of soldiers from several countries and they spoke different languages. So when the German-speaking officers started shouting "Halt! Halt!" in their own language, the non-German-speakers mistook it for cries of, "Allah! Allah!"

The whole frantic group of soldiers finally arrived back at the main camp. An officer there, in a moment of slapstick brilliance, reasoned that the charging, shouting men must be a Turkish attack, and ordered an artillery strike.

The entire camp then awoke to the sound of an enormous battle and they all did what every disciplined soldier would do at a time like this: ran away in different directions, firing wildly. The situation escalated until the army was called into a general retreat from the imaginary enemy. Finally, not wanting to miss out on the fun, the leader of the whole operation, Holy Roman Emperor Joseph II, got knocked off his horse and landed in a stream.

(from cracked.com)

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Khawaga
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Jul 11 2015 20:13

Wow, that is fucking hilarious.

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Noah Fence
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Jul 12 2015 19:17

Ok, so this is a cheat coz you don't read a video but seeing cops made to look like the wankers they are is always a good thing out of place or not.

http://youtu.be/v4gakGK6vRw

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jef costello
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Jul 12 2015 22:41

Apparently the war story is apocryphal, I read it on cracked a while back and looked it up. There's some surprisingly good stuff on cracked about gender, sexism, pickup artists and all sorts of stuff.

LinksRadikal
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Jul 13 2015 14:06
jef costello wrote:
Apparently the war story is apocryphal, I read it on cracked a while back and looked it up. There's some surprisingly good stuff on cracked about gender, sexism, pickup artists and all sorts of stuff.

Yeah, I wondered if this is an officially recognized event. I'll try and do some research of my own.

And cracked indeed is surprisingly good, yes.

EDIT: btw, this is what wikipedia's got to say on the matter

Quote:
The earliest major source detailing this battle is from "Geschichte Josephs des Zweiten" by A. J. Gross-Hoffinger, written 59 years after the battle's supposed occurrence, and most authors tend to cite this account. The earliest source for this battle was from History of the eighteenth century and of the nineteenth till the overthrow of the French empire, with particular reference to mental cultivation and progress, which was published in 1843, 55 years after the incident. This source refers readers to the "Austrian Military Magazine of 1831" to find a more complete account of the battle:

"A detailed account of the singular story of this night-march and its consequences does not appear to us to belong to the province of general history; it will however be found both authentic and complete in the 'Austrian Military Magazine of 1831.

petey
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Jul 13 2015 18:05

not funny, exactly, but, y'know, america

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Next News Network, a conspiracy theory website co-founded by Gary Franchi, the former chair of Rep. Ron Paul's (R-TX) super PAC, noted that the start of the "Jade Helm 15" exercise coincides with a Druidic cremation ceremony performed by a secret society of America's Republican elite.

The Bohemian Club, which has counted former Presidents George H.W. Bush, George W. Bush, Richard Nixon and Ronald Reagan among its members, meets every year in early July at a Redwood grove in Monte Rio, California. There, the club performs a ritual known as the "Cremation of the Care" where members burn a coffin effigy in a show of forest-worship.

Next News Network stated in a YouTube video that July 15 not only marks the start of "Jade Helm 15," but also the cremation ritual. The outlet speculated that the ritual "actually represents the physical manifestation of the cremation of America."

http://talkingpointsmemo.com/muckraker/jade-helm-15-begins-wednesday

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Fnordie
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Jul 14 2015 13:58

this isn't something i read, but i overheard a great interaction:

punk landlord: "I'm a capitalist, but I sympathize with anarchists. I'm an anarcho capitalist." [has never heard of ancaps]
punk tenant: "JESUS CHRIST DON'T EVER FUCKING SAY THAT!!!"

boomerang
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Jul 19 2015 06:52

boomerang
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Jul 19 2015 06:59

Funnier thing just happened right after posting: I showed it to my bf, and he's like, "Blazing it everyday? Is he talking about insurrectionism?"

It was a completely serious question.

petey
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Jul 22 2015 15:50
Quote:
In an interview in the documentary American Storytellers, Ramis said he hoped to make a film about Emma Goldman (even pitching Disney with the idea of having Bette Midler star)

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harold_Ramis#Film_career

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Entdinglichung
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Jul 23 2015 21:18

http://edlnews.co.uk/2015/07/23/edl-and-national-action-fight-it-out-at-...

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Entdinglichung
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Jul 24 2015 11:52

https://www.marxists.org/history/erol/ncm-3/rw-principles.htm

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Auld-bod
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Jul 25 2015 15:02

This from today’s Guardian after Zoe Williams visited the wee town of Stonehaven.

‘Some things are so obvious that no description would be complete without them, and yet they must surely have been observed before: the problem with deep frying a Mars bar isn’t the fat or the salt or the sugar, but the colour. It looks like a turd in batter; so much so that there’s some kind of evolutionary wisdom urging you not to eat it.
But when you’ve gone all the way there and, at 41, are ready to experiment, you can ignore that wisdom for the first bite, and it turns out these are delicious; much better than regular Mars bars, since the neutral, savoury flour breaks into the sugary flatness, the batter mixes up the texture and of course the salt and the caramel meet, in an elegant and self-contained precursor to this decade’s trendy obsession, salted caramel.
Look, you wouldn’t eat two in a row. You may not eat again that day. But it’s better than the chocolate puds I could name in 10 separate restaurants, which considering the low quality of the chocolate is saying a lot.’

Invented in 1992 by the fryers of the Carron fish bar, Stonehaven.